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Joined: Feb 3, '13;
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I figured that I would provide a brief update regarding my employment since I have not really utilized my account since starting my first day at work.
Things have gone relatively smoothly and I for the most part have settled in to my dual role as a Provider as well as the Practice Manager. My anxiety has not been as big of a hinderance as I previously had feared and aside from a couple of "moments" where I had to consciously "check" myself, everything has been peachy with no major "events". I admit the first two weeks on the job I had a difficult time transitioning into the provider role and I utilize our physician's immense knowledge routinely for guidance, but overall I feel I become a better provider everyday with each new patient encounter. I am sincere when I say that I look forward to my continued growth and for the first time am excited for what is to come in my nursing career.
With that said, the only issues which have arisen has been with our physician's wife. We started out relatively close but now our relationship is strained. She seems to have more of an active role in the practice than what I had imagined despite her not even being an employee. Although it is in my job description to essentially handle all aspects of personnel management, she seems to feel it is her role to be involved as well. She does this in a rather unprofessional manner and I have since had to speak one on one with our physician as I believed her behavior was unacceptable and was inhibiting me from performing my job properly and efficiently. He spoke with his wife which for the most part stopped her...brusque behavior towards the staff...but now has placed a target on me. She went so far as telling one of the Medical Assistants who worked for our practice she was being terminated which was effective immediately. I found her crying in the parking lot and I had to take her back into the office and tell her to resume her work as I was the Practice Manager and as far as I was concerned she had did nothing worth reprimanding let alone to be terminated.
So essentially me and this women go back and forth daily. I find that she spends more time at this practice than at her own place of employment. But I am remaining positive and focusing on my patients and providing quality patient care. My extensive background in personnel management and office administration has really aided me in remaining calm and collective while dealing with her but I am afraid that at any moment her bias towards me may rub off on the physician which may complicate things. Im grateful for his objectiveness throughout this. If anyone would like to provide me with advice regarding this situation it would be appreciated.
Again thanks to all who initially provided me with encouragement and advice.
Greeting to all,
I thought that I would post these questions which I have via Allnurses as a topic simply because I am not able to bring myself to ask a collegue due to my embarassment. As I am presently in the process of job searching and therefore have been browsing through several nursing job advertisements for various positions and levels of nursing, I have happened across multiple ads seeking an LPN. Being an APN, but initially starting my nursing career by obtaining an LPN/LVN license, I never really entertained the idea of utilizing this credential. However, as I found that securing a job as an RN in a hospital based facility is much more difficult than I originally anticipated especially when considering my lack of paid experience, this prospect seems more and more prominent.
I understand the concept that I would be held to a higher standard of care as I have obtained an advanced nursing education. This does not pose a personal issue for me though simply because by me utilizing a lesser license my advanced nursing knowledge or skill-set would not be effected. My main goal during this job search tecnicially is to secure a nursing position, be it as a staff nurse or as a provider in order to generate a higher income. My secondary and more personal goal is to secure a position as a staff nurse in order gain more hands on bedside nursing experience. As I do not believe that holding an LPN/LVN job would satisfy the financial stipulations of my job search, I would not plan on making this my permanent or full time job. I already have a potential job as a clinician secured and was told that it is 95% a gaurantee I will be offered this position if my shadowing period goes well. Unfortunately due to my deficient nursing experience I have not been able to gain any footing towards an RN position but believe that with my extensive nursing education I will be more likely to secure a LPN/LVN position in a LTC or SNF facility. If it is pheasible, I am considering working concurrently as a provider as well as pursing an LPN/LVN position to accomplish my secondary goal quicker. My questions clearly stated: Can an APN in fact utilize an LPN license if active? If so, when applying, is divulging that you are an APN necessary or will listing an RN education and license number suffice?
I understand that this question for many will probably seem extremely ridiculous and may potentially ilicit a slightly brusque response which is why I would like if possible to receive responses that are relevent to my specific question in order to avoid being "flamed". please.
Thanks to all who apply
I barely have had time to breathe it seems these last several days because of my prior obligations with my work as well as my continued job searching and 2nd interview I just had. I was so determined to secure a nursing position that I had already provided notice to my Regional Director that I would potentially be leaving two months back as a way to motivate myself to actually follow through this time. I am extremely comfortable in my present position so I needed to light a fire so to speak underneath my bottom to get going. Now that she is aware that I have already started the interview process of my job search we have finally announced my decision to the staff since we had decided to withhold that information in case something changed. I will stay to help screen new applicants for our company until a new Manager has been selected. So to sum this paragraph up...IM ACTUALLY GOING FORWARD WITH THIS TRANSITION!!! HOLY COW!!
With that said I met the clinic staff today whom I found to all be extremely pleasant and nice. I have never wanted to work somewhere so intensely before today. I bonded immediately with the Doctors wife and she seems really enthusiastic about the prospect of me joining their small team which is a relief on so many levels. The doctor requested that I come in Saturday and Sunday when it doesnt conflict with my current work schedule to observe how the clinic functioned and of course to shadow. He didnt state that I would be seeing patients during this time and I didnt have the courage to ask him, all he said was to "shadow and observe clinic flow". I did reach out to one of my friends whom I hadnt spoken much to since we were batchmates and she stated that most likely he would be observing me as I seen a few patients to assess my knoweledge and work ethic. Does anyone know what is standard when a potential provider is observing? He said he would like to "hammer out the fine details" and finalize things by next week which I hope means he's leaning in the direction of taking a chance and hiring me.
Also, he did mention that he was interested in potentially expanding clinic hours which I found to contradict his previous statement of wanting to have more time off. Of course its not a big deal as I am just happy to even be considered for this position. He also asked me if I would mind working the evenings and weekends which I told him "of course not" despite the voice in the back of my head that was screaming "yes you do!". Also, I am slightly concerned when considering the fact that I would be assuming the role of the Office Manager as well as working a dual role as a provider and expected to work at nights and the weekends when typically an onsite manager is generally needed during the day time. It is apparent now that the Doctor is not exactly sure in what capacity he will utilize me or what the responsibilities of this job will exactly entail for that matter. Its definitely obvious that this position I will be assuming if I am offered the job will be created and defined as time goes on...the doctor is absolutely playing it by ear much more than I realized. Nonetheless I am convincing myself that I am capable and up to this exciting new challenge and this opportunity is worth the risk.
Thanks to everyones immense support and advice. I look forward to it.
Just wanted to update everyone and let you know that I secured a 2nd interview for a small rural family practice. This interview will consist of meeting the staff and currently exiting Office Manager. The position is for a Practice Manager which the Doctor stated he would like to be a combination of an Office Manager as well as provider. The current Office Manager who has been there for years and started as a Medical Assistant was just accepted into a PA program so will be leaving. The Doctor stated that his wife who is an RN encouraged him to consider hiring an NP or PA who could assume the Managerial responsibilities as well as see patients. I am super excited and have an amazing feeling about this potential job. I have an extensive background in management and am confident as a Manager. The physician is extremely nice and is looking to bring in another provider so that he can "have some free time with his wife". He has never had a midlevel provider in his practice before which makes me feel so much less intimidated...although I must say I am extremely nervous still. I was completely honest with him about everything. He asked the question I was dreading as well which was "I see that after graduating you pursued a non-nursing job which you are still currently employed at, is that correct?". I simply stated the truth. He smiled and seemed amused but really didn focus on the question any longer as I feared he would. The practice is extremely small and consists of 2 Medical Assistants, 2 Receptionists, the Doctor, and an Office Manager who I would be replacing if offered the job.
The only negative factor is that the office is two towns away which would take me an hour one way to get their. It is in the country however so there is no traffic. The pay will be 20 dollars more than I am making now which is more than I could ask for.
I have never been this optimistic about a job before...especially a nursing job Wish me luck please. And again thank you to everyone for your continued advice. I look forward to it. I also have one other interview later towards the end of the week in case this for some reason falls through.
Not to be a jerk, but does anyone else find it odd to make it through a Master's degree without addressing this issue along the way? I can understand post-grad jitters, but if you are this uncomfortable with nursing, how did you make it through the clinical component? What were you doing before looking for a nursing position? Why were you not interested in pursuing a ARNP job before your husband's disability? In terms of your husband making a full recovery, how long do you expect that to be?
I'm sorry if this is rude and OP is legit, but after reading the Munchausens by internet article I am skeptical of what I read online. I am having a really hard time understanding the dynamics of this situation.
I think you should start applying for RN jobs. Just because you have an APRN degree doesn't mean you have to use it. In OB, I work with several NPs and one CNM who all work as staff nurses. They have said that they enjoy the less stressful position of being a staff nurse. Anyway, how about working as "just" a staff nurse somewhere for a few years to allow yourself to gain confidence in your skills, and THEN try the jump in to the midlevel care provider role.
OP, your anxiety IS dysfunctional if you have not been able to even take a first step as an LVN, and RN, nor an NP because of it. Have your other self read your first post. Both parts of you need to acknowledge this problem you are having, and you subconsciously have done this by coming here... but you are not allowing yourself to consciously do this (you're fighting yourself).
Remember that many here are begging for a chance to even get an interview! So you may get some eye-rolling. Nursing is hard, it's scary and you are right to be scared. Being scared causes anxiety. But it may be that all you need is a swift kick in the pants - someone to burn your books and lock you out of your house so that the only place to go is to a job. Literally. Yes, you may hate it and quit. This is common. But you don't know until you pull up your big girl panties an get out there. Once you do, you might find that you step up in a big way, and all this over-worry was worthless wasting.
I just kicked you hard in the butt. Get some help and give yourself a chance.
I agree and I don't believe that this answer was flippant, as another poster believes. It is simply the truth and sometimes the barebones truth is difficult to hear.
OP, I feel for you, I really do. I once suffered panic attacks for the first time in my life (I was 40) because of my med/surg position. However, I sought treatment, and with counseling and medication was able to return to functioning as an RN.
I disagree that your anxiety is not dysfunctional. From your post, I see that you have an advanced degree that you achieved primarily out of a desire to avoid the actual practice of your chosen profession. Now you have pretty much reached the pinnacle of educational opportunities (at least without clinical experience) and are having to face what you have spent years avoiding. That could certainly be labeled as dysfunctional since you are simply unable to do what you really, really want to do.
I'm sorry that this response is not what you hoped for, but I sincerely believe that reaching out to a counsellor or even your PCP would do wonders for your state of mind. I also firmly believe that it is a failure of the nursing profession to allow a student to achieve an independent practitioner degree/license without actual experience.
Yes, sorry if it seems flippant but I didn't mean it that way.
You say it's just about nursing but if its been holding you back for years, you do need to seek some help. Like the above poster said you're not functioning. Maybe you don't need medication but talk therapy to work out your issues with the profession. Finding the "perfect" job is an unlikely reality, so you are going to have to change rather than hope you find something that makes you feel comfortable. Your first job and your first
Days at new jobs are going to be scary, whether or not you think the job is a good match.
Thank you for the reply. I do absolutely understand the necessity for Xanax when needed and am all to familiar with it...trust me lol I am just really nervous I guess about how it is to be actually working as an APN. I remember when I did my rotations with my preceptor at a Family Practice. The physician heavily relied on her to see the majority of the patients and when she did request his help he didnt seem to enthused. My preceptor even stated once "remember you have to be just as good as a the Doc you work with because he wants a provider there to lesson his load not add to it." That remark worries me because I remember collegues of mine who stated to their employers when they were new grads that they desired orientation etc. and were not given it despite being promised it and thus disappointed the physicians they worked with. This is why I was tinking of utilizing my RN license...but I am not sure what I would tell employers when they ask why I have never secured a Nursing position or why I desire to pursue bedside nursing and not work as a Clinician. I also have witnessed and experienced several stressful and discouraging working environments during my rotations through both LVN and RN schol. I was aquanted with the phrase "nurses eat their young" from the begining of my nursing studies and despite having an advanced nursing degree, I am very much still "young" in terms of my nursing career. I also feel that if collegues knew I was an APN and working as a RN they would expect so much more from me despite the fact that I would need refreshing and orienting...so much worries...
Thank you for the response. It is immensely appreciated. All of my registration is current, and I handled my rotations exceptionally well. Unfortunately, I have not kept in contact with any of my preceptors as I was embarrassed of the fact that I was not working as a nurse or NP despite always receiving praise during clinical rotations. All of my batch mates secured jobs as providers upon completion of our program which also added to this feeling.
I have a second interview for a small Urgent Care as well as a Family Practice, but to be honest...I am so nervous to accept a job as a provider simply because I am worried of not meeting the expectations of the clinical staff or Physician. I am interested in potentially securing a nursing job, however I am dreading the question of "Why are you applying for a bedside nursing job when you are an APN?" I also am unsure what area of nursing would be easier for me as an "old" new grad.
Your advice would be appreciated.
As my first response on this site I thank you for the reply and your "advice", although that was not exactly the words of encouragement I was looking for. Anxiety in regards to working as a nurse is indeed what I have, however I do not believe that dysfunctional anxiety is what I am afflicted with. Nonetheless, once again thank you for your reply.
Greetings to all.
I just discovered this site only hours ago through a friend of mine. I am absolutely overjoyed to have stumbled upon such an amazing site such as this one. I am writing this post because...I am seeking outside encouragement...or advice...from other healthcare professionals whom can provide me with an outside perspective.
Presently I am an NP, however, I have never worked as one...in fact...I have never utilized any of my nursing licenses...neither my LVN or RN. I was inspired to become a nurse when I was 14 after being hospitalized for an extended period of time by the nurses who provided me daily care. When it became time for me to pursue a nursing education I soon realized upon the completion of my LVN program that although I loved nursing I was not yet comfortable practicing nursing yet. Eventually, after competing my RN program, I still felt the same way...and my fears and insecurities as a nurse prevented me from once again accepting any job offers and thus I refrained from utilizing another license which I worked extremely hard to obtain. I than decided to stay busy and further my studies which culminated in an APN degree...but sadly...my fears only increased because of the heightened level of autonomy, increased scope of practice, and responsibilities required of APN's. After fulfilling my educational goals and dreams...I never was able to muster the courage to secure any nursing job either as a nurse nor as a midlevel provider. With my education complete, income needed to be generated so I accepted a job not in the healthcare field and am making much less then I am capable of bringing in when considering the income scale of both nurses and APN's in my present location.
In between my schooling I took some time off to marry my longtime partner, who has been my rock throughout my studies, and is the reason I have been afforded the opportunity to pursue my education. He has never pressured me to secure a job and utilize my education until recently as an injury has rendered him disabled which resulted in him leaving the work force until he makes a full recovery. I now feel it is my responsibility to secure a position where I can generate a higher monetary income and make up for the loss in finances, especially when I know I am capable of doing so. A week ago he told me as I was providing him care that perhaps I should consider securing a job in the nursing field.
I am scared...I am discouraged...I don't know where to begin...and despite me being confident in the knowledge I possess...I still do not feel equipped to work as either a nurse or a clinician. I am looking for words of encouragement here I guess or any suggestions on what I could do to overcome my insecurities and fears...or possible suggestions on what work I could possibly do which would ease me into the nursing world.
If you can make it through this long thread...and provide some words of wisdom regarding my circumstances...know that I would appreciate it more than words can express.
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