Mean/Rude Doctors

GingerSue · May 19, 2005

did he then look at the bag? I wonder why he didn't look in the first place?

Natalieboo · May 19, 2005

I get enough crap BECAUSE I'm a doula (from nurses too ) this is why I am afraid to become a nurse. I worry I may be too sensitive for the job. It's funny because I think of myself as a very "nurse and doc friendly" doula. I'm not "out there" like some of them. It's not even anything I do, just the looks and attitude I get when I introduce myself as the doula.

I would have thought about how the docs were rude to me all day and think about what I could have done differently or what I could have said to them after. How do you get thick skin?!

Marie_LPN, RN, LPN, RN · May 19, 2005

We have one of those docs (luckily, JUST one). He seems to think that being rude, making smart***ed insulting comments, and having a holier-than-thou attitude is the way to command respect.

I'll respect him the day he acts like he deserves to BE respected.

grimmy, RN · May 19, 2005

since i work 1-on-1 with quite a few doctors (surgeons, no less) every single day, my advice is: you have to speak up for yourself. the mds do not own you. i agree that it is sad to have to expend the energy on such negative people, but the mean-spirited are everywhere. if someone rudely barges in on your report, especially in front of a patient, report them. it is a) ethically inappropriate, and b) poor customer service. i have had to report physicians' inappropriate behavior, and i have taken a few to task when the situation is right.

in fact, the other day someone started talking to me while i was getting report from my relief nurse, and i basically ignored him. like a child, he again yammered at me for something fairly inconsequential (his pager going off), and i continued to ignore him. i did not address him until i finished (which took less than a minute), and said, "did you want something?"

and he yelled at me, "didn't you hear me?"

i said, "yes. i was handling a nursing priority at the time. are you becoming verbally abusive?"

that seems to stop them in their tracks.

he said, "my pager went off."

i started walking toward the desk. "were you expecting something urgent?"

"well, no, but its my pager...it could be anything!" :uhoh3:

priorities, i tell you. the point is that most physicians don't know or understand what the nurse's job really is. even worse, there a quite a few doctors who have less-than-stellar communication skills. what's hard for a lot of nurses is this: don't be afraid of them. they are people, with flaws, and needs. most have good intentions, but poor means of communicating them to the team. some don't understand the notion of a "team." if they continue to get away with abrasive behavior with their team members, your job will become harder and harder. you must address it the moment the negative behavior occurs. practice it, and you will be able to do it effectively.

dazzle256 · May 19, 2005

I get enough crap BECAUSE I'm a doula (from nurses too ) this is why I am afraid to become a nurse. I worry I may be too sensitive for the job. It's funny because I think of myself as a very "nurse and doc friendly" doula. I'm not "out there" like some of them. It's not even anything I do, just the looks and attitude I get when I introduce myself as the doula.
I would have thought about how the docs were rude to me all day and think about what I could have done differently or what I could have said to them after. How do you get thick skin?!

I'm sorry.......whats a doula?

As far as developing a thick skin.......I don't know if this is being thick skinned but I've learned to very calmly tear new buts to rude doctors.

Natalieboo · May 19, 2005

A doula provides emotional and physical support to a woman in labor.

I could seriously go on and on about a doula, so PM me if that definition does not suffice.

Mama Val, ASN, RN · May 20, 2005

Nat I know what you mean, but don't be scared about nursing. What you do now will only help you and your patient more later. Experience can't be bought only learned.

I'm a Doula too (and an LPN, although that doesn't help sometimes either) some Docs who just don't care...

It "me me me me...now now now now!!!!!!!!"

I have been know to let my mouth get me into trouble 1 too many times.

Now I ignore them until I am finished with what ever I am doing and then I will ask what they wanted ....with a smile :wink2:

live4today, RN · May 20, 2005

First and foremost, you are an adult just like the doctor with a bad attitude.

As an adult, both of you have a responsibility to perform professionally for your patients and in working with one another. Some doctors AND nurses need to be reminded of this level of shared respect. Assert yourself when an adult who works as a doctor treats you -- an adult who works as a nurse -- unfairly and without respect.

Don't fear the attitude or the person. They get out of bed, brush their teeth, shower/bathe, get dressed, eat their meals, and blow snot from their noses just like you do. Invision yourself in their shoes and you'll have no trouble at all.

Penguinurse · May 20, 2005

I completely agree with Grimmy's post. In my experience, MD's who are consistently rude/mean are simply acting out their own power trips, and the worst thing to do is to act intimidated or scared. That's exactly the reaction they want, and it simply encourages them. If you remain professional, polite, and calm, and respond to their irrational/unreasonable questions, demands, and comments with simple logic, they'll learn that you are immune to the crap they try to pull and will generally knock it off when dealing with you. It's hard, especially when you're new and docs seem like total authority figures, but remember this - without you, docs would be helpless. Who gives them the majority of the info. they need to make decisions? Who does the great majority of assessment for patients? Nurses. Don't let 'em make you feel insignificant or like a servant. And if it gets really bad, definitely report the behavior to your boss, in writing, with a request to inform you of the follow-up action taken. You should never, ever have to take abuse from anyone you work with.

markjrn · May 20, 2005

We have one of those docs (luckily, JUST one). He seems to think that being rude, making smart***ed insulting comments, and having a holier-than-thou attitude is the way to command respect.
I'll respect him the day he acts like he deserves to BE respected.

You have my sympathy Marie. I think surgeons are the worst.

RoxanRN · May 20, 2005

Reminds me of a joke.... How many surgeons does it take to change a light bulb?

One.... he holds the bulb up and the world revolves around him!