MD likes to make you feel stupid

[chenoaspirit]

I have alot of respect for this MD, he is an excellent doctor. But he has this way of talking to me, like Im totally stupid. If he prefers something done a certain way, I will do it that way, but then he will come up with a different way and acts like Im stupid for doing it the original way. And he now makes me so nervous, that I now miss things because Im dreading to call him. Does that make sense. Its like the longer times goes, the stupider I feel. I hate it.

[freefalr]

chenoaspirit, did you say this fellow is your primary physician?!

(feel free to substitute for "fellow"--heehee)

[vivacious1healer]

I worked for well known & respected doctor at an academic institute in Chicago.

One day he decided to belittle me in front of staff and a patient. I quickly turned and walked away while he shouted my name to return (immediately realizing that he was an ass).

We finished seeing all the patients, and I sternly told him that ' uh yeah, we need to talk' as I closed the door.

We sat down, and I calmly, but firmly told him that while I realize that I am new and still learning, under no circumstances is he to EVER speak to me like that again.EVER.

He apologized. I accepted. Life moves on....

However, I believe that if I never stood up to him, I would have never been respected, and this type of behavior would of continued.

The direct approach worked for me and I believe it always will.

[nursel56]

It sounds like you've already decided to talk to him about this during your headache appointment. Just hope it isn't a day when he has 20 patients stacked up and his pager going off every 2 minutes! :chuckle

So many things depend on the Doc's personality. Sometimes a semi-kidding remark will work to break the ice because the doc is strung out and not realizing what a jerk he is being. If you feel he is singling you out for public humiliation that is 100% not OK, and probably worth going up the chain of command if it doesn't stop after you make it clear his behavior is unacceptable.

Younger docs need to be educated on how they need to communicate with nursing staff. As someone else alluded to, nurses have the ability to make a resident's life a living hell if the request for behavior modification isn't heeded.

The only type of doc that I usually let it slide is the one who is a brilliant whatever doctor, who has no people skills and doesn't have any desire to learn them. That type doesn't come around all that often in my experience, and I'm just really glad there is a subspecialist around to do the work they do.

Let us know how it turns out! He has no right to scare the crap out of you to the point where you don't call when your judgement says you should call. Sorry if he doesn't like that, but oh well. . ;.

[FLmomof5]

OP, you ought to google "gas-lighting". It is a form of psychological abuse.

I have never had this experience because I am still a NS, but I was married to a guy who was verbally abusive at one point. I stood there calmly while he threw a tirade. At some point he stopped and looked at me (kinda confused). I said, "done yet?" What else could he say? He said, "yeah"... I then looked at him and said, "Feel like a real man now?"

It never happened again.

[JessicaSN]

If you still choose to see this doctor as your PCP, I would definitely not bring up work related matters at your appointment. What goes on at work should be dealt with at work.

[IwearScrubs]

I'm sorry that sounds really stressful!

I personally would ask him if I could speak with him privately. Then I would professionaly, calmly, and respectfully tell him I feel very uncomfortable at times b/c of certain things he says such as x,y,z. You can also mention that you respect his work ethic before going into the subject of issue Be honest with him. Think about what you want to say before you confront him. I would then think of his reaction and things he would say back to you and be ready to respond back to his conerns/questions/statements... or if he gets angry or rude, I would thinkn about what to say as well.

Hope things get better for you! You don't need extra stress.