LPN catch-22 and concerned about mental health

Published

hey, im super new to this site so forgive me if im beating a dead horse with this topic (i did read the other threads on the subject)

im an lpn in texas,

Catch-22: cant get hired bc i have no experience, cant get experience if i cant get hired.

i started writing everything i wanted to say, realized it was too long and to prevent any "TLDR" replies, im gonna cliff note this.

-had anxiety attacks from 13-20

-periods of everything going terribly wrong about every three months since i turned 20 (i called it the zen of life, since it made me appreciate when stuff wasnt going wrong)

-have had suicidal thoughts but ive been strong enough to not act on any of them

- as soon as i got my temp license in texas, my wife got a deployment date, thus making my license transfer a dumb move bc now im going to be stuck in texas alone instead of going home while shes gone

-student loan bills piling up, one about to default

-over the last year ive had 4 major injuries

-my health is declining at a scary rate for being 22 (gout...really?)

-being sad and angry go hand in hand for me; if i cry, i rage because i shouldnt be crying

-simple things like this page refusing to load properly puts me in a rage, i start sweating, shaking, and it feels like the only thing that will fix it is another hole in the wall, but if i remove my self from the situation, im fine after a few mins (have a few years of anger managment under my belt as well)

i know i have the "common symptoms" for bipolar disorder, but i cant help but feel like that would be a cop-out for me, that all the crap raining down on me is just life and im better at dealing with it sometimes more than other

i still dont have health insurance as i am unemployed, so i cant really be seen to figure it out. i just want to know from other nurses if they feel this way and if you think its something i need to get looked into when i do get insurance, but since im a nurse in texas, any Dx would mean a bunch of BS for me to even get a job, and im having a hard enough time as it is.

what do you think?

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in none.

First of all, Brother Nurse, You need help. The kind of help I got. Been fighting Depression and Anxiety since the Air Force. So I know where you are coming from. You need help only a mental health worker can give you. Don't DX yourself. The job situation try anything for the moment. Home heath if you can get it. The Veterans hospitals Anything. Here in jersey unemployment has help centers. I don't know about your state. First you have to take care of you. There are mental help lines. They can be great help. Do it now!

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in Complex pedi to LTC/SA & now a manager.

Most states have mental health hotlines or warm lines. As well as public MH clinics that work on a sliding fee scale. Try googling mental health help lines for your state.

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in LTC, assisted living, med-surg, psych.

Agree with the above. You have to see someone---we can't diagnose you, and you really can't diagnose yourself. Yes, your symptoms do sound a lot like BP, but there are other mental illnesses that mimic it; even physical illnesses can change your brain chemistry, so those have to be ruled out first before anyone can tell you what you have.

I don't know if TX requires nurse applicants to disclose their mental health status, but in my state the only question relating to this is "Do you have any physical or mental condition that prevents you from practicing nursing safely?" Not having a dx yet, you could honestly answer No. (FYI: my psychiatrist told me that it's not necessary to answer that question affirmatively even though I do have bipolar d/o, because it does not prevent me from practicing safely.) OTOH, you don't want to delay being seen in order to avoid diagnosis, because mental illness does not go away if you ignore it---it only gets worse!

Almost every city and county in the U.S. has a free or reduced-cost mental health clinic where fees are on a sliding scale based on your income. Please look into one and get yourself some help. It isn't just "life raining crap down" on you; you probably have a medical condition that needs treatment so you can live your best life. Nurses with depression, bipolar disorder, and other psychiatric issues can and do have successful careers.......so can you. :hug:

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in Nephrology, Cardiology, ER, ICU.

If you are married to a deployed military member you should have Tricare.

Please get some help!

We would like to help you and the best way for you to get that help is to reach out in person and ask for it.

We wish the best.

Up Vote Up Vote ×
+ Join the Discussion