Low self-esteem

Marie_LPN, RN, LPN, RN · Nov 28, 2004

Quite honestly i think the low self-esteem lies within the bullies themselves. They bully to make themselves feel better about their own self-doubts.

CCU NRS · Nov 28, 2004

I feel that low self esteem is a porblem that leads to many forms of abuse. Not just bullies but spouse abuse, drug abuse, alcohol abuse, self mutilation.

When people feel worhtless they don't feel that they have any right to be protected or even stand up for themselves. They accept things that happen as a part of the condition rather than cause and effect. This is just MHO

boulergirl, CNA · Nov 28, 2004

From my experience, yes it does.

When you've heard others tell you all your life that you're "different", you grow up thinking something's inherently wrong with you. It's hard to respect yourself or feel good about yourself when you just can't "fit in" (even as an adult). And bullies pick right up on that.

UM Review RN, ASN, RN · Nov 28, 2004

Yes. I was taught to "turn the other cheek" as a child. I was also taught that it was "bad" of me to get angry at another person.

So as an adult--voila! perfect target. I still have trouble asserting myself to this day with bold, aggressive types of people.

boulergirl, CNA · Nov 28, 2004

I was told to "Ignore them" when it came to handling bullies. That was my parents' response. I love my parents dearly, but they never taught me to stand up to people. My teachers in school failed to intervene, either. I guess the message that I've internalized at this point is that I'm not worth defending, and it is wrong to defend myself. You know, "Turn the other cheek" as Angie O'Plasty mentioned. Some of my co-workers have pushed me to become more assertive, but it's very difficult for me.

HarryPotter · Nov 29, 2004

I think you guys are awesome! Your replies are great. And everyone of you have said something that is true. Remember that we're all in this together. I think that sharing this is important! We can all learn from each other!

There are some fabulous sites on the web re: self esteem. What it is, how its created, steps to improve it, etc. Its been very, very interesting for me to read them. I have learned a lot!

One of the things I have learned is that self-esteem, high or low, is something we learn from others and come to believe and internalize, like thats who we are.

It can come from parents, from teachers, from school mates, in childhood, in adolescence, in adulthood.

I pay close attention to the "little voice in my head" that reinforces this belief (not voices as in paranoid). When I notice it, I say "Thanks for sharing", and choose to be who I know myself to really be.

Low self esteem undermines all that we want to accomplish. It destroys our ability to contribute in meaningful ways.

Lets keep this conversation up. Its great!

SmilingBluEyes · Nov 29, 2004

of course I do. but don't take MY word for it, check this out:

http://www.bullyonline.org