a lot of students were talking negatively about me behind my back

Tweety, BSN, RN · May 12, 2005

Sorry to hear that. As a recovering victum of gossip, I know it stings and isn't necessarily easy to brush off your shoulder without feeling. There's some good advice here.

Good luck.

You know 15 years after nursing school, not one of those students do I ever see, I passed NCLEX with just myself, my brain and a pencil (no computer back then), not one of them is the boss of me, not one of them signs my paycheck, pays my mortgage, or will get me into heaven.

Hold your head up.

grinnurse, RN · May 12, 2005

I had this happen to me at the first of this semester as well. The only difference was these two "women" (and I use that term loosely) were supposed to be two of my closest friends. We had been studying together since the beginning of NS. I ignored them which was hard b/c I sat right next to them in class and I sure as heck wasn't loosing a front row seat. About 1 1/2 mos ago, they apologized and said let bygones be bygones, so I was like ok. I am big enough to forgive and forget. Now, I don't know if they were testing me to see if I would talk about them to one another (bad mouthing) or what, but when they knew that I wasn't going to talk about anyone to them, they started acting like idiots again. I know, shame on me for the 2nd chance. I learn the hard way I guess.

Don't let them get to you. I know it's hard to do b/c of what I just said above. You know what though, you are much better that that. Don't lower yourself to their level, make them rise to meet you and your standards. And please don't hang around the guy that told you these things............it only leads to more hurt. Sounds like he is an instegator(sp) who likes to stir the pot up and you don't need those type of people for friends!!

Good Luck with NS!!

**RosesrReder, BSN, MSN, RN** · May 12, 2005

wHILE IT IS DIFFICULT TO SAY DON'T PAY ATTENTION AND JUST OVERLOOK IT, THAT IS WHAT YOU NEED TO DO. YOU HAVE OTHER MORE IMPORTANT THINGS TO WORRY AND STRESS OVER IN YOUR LIFE, LIKE YOU SCHOOL AND GRADES FOR EXAMPLE.

PEOPLE WHO USUALLY TALK BEHIND PEOPLE'S BACK, ARE UNCOMFORTABLE IN THEIR OWN SKIN AND INSECURE. IF NOT, THEN THEY SHOULD HAVE SAID IT TO YOUR FACE AND EXPECTED A REACTION IN YOUR DEFENSE.

HONEY, DO NOT WASTE YOUR TIME AND ENERGY ON THESE PEOPLE. LOOK AT IT IN A POSITIVE WAY, THAT NOW YOU KNOW WHO IS ON YOUR FRIENDLY SIDE AND WHO IS NOT. LIFE IS TOO SHORT SO JUST ENJOY IT.

ASIDE FROM THIS, I REALLY LIKED A PREVIOUS POST WHICH MENTIONS THAT IF I AM IN NEED AND YOU ARE THE NURSE TAKING CARE OF ME......I DO NOT CARE WHAT YOU LOOK LIKE.

GO ON.....KEEP YOUR HEAD UP HIGH AND DON'T EVEN THINK OF THE COMMENTS MADE. ALSO, IF YOUR FRIEND THAT CAME AND TOLD YOU THAT KEEPS REMINDING YOU....JUST TELL HER TO QUIT AND THAT YOU REFUSE TO LET IT GET THE BEST OUT OF YOU. SOMETIMES IT IS BETTER NOT TO EVEN BE TOLD SITUATIONS LIKE THOSE. YOU WON'T LOSE ANYTHING AND THE PEOPLE MAKING THE COMMENT JUST LOST A GREAT POTENTIAL FRIEND.

LET ME SHARE SOMETHING WITH YOU...... ABOUT 6 MONTHS AGO A CLASSMATE TOLD ME STRAIGHT TO MY FACE THAT I WOULD NEVER MAKE IT INTO NURSING BECAUSE I WAS A MINORITY AND THAT THE SCHOOL WOULDN'T BE INTERESTED. FURTHERMORE, SHE WENT ON AND ON ABOUT HOW "HISPANIC" PEOPLE NEVER AMOUNT TO ANYTHING :uhoh3:

IMAGINE THAT! ALL I TOLD HER WAS OH WELL IT IS UP TO GOD AND MY FATE...WE WILL SEE WHAT HAPPENS AND THAT IS ALL :angryfire! NEEDLESS TO SAY, SHE ENDED FALLING BEHIND BECAUSE SHE FAILED CHEMISTRY, WHILE I WENT ON. THEN WE TOOK THE PRE-ENTRANCE EXAM AND SHE FAILED IT, AND I PASSED.......

SHE CANNOT EVEN LOOK AT ME TO THIS DAY AND TURN GREEN WITH ENVY OR EMBARASSMENT :chuckle

GOOD LUCK :)

JESSICA

Rosa2Little · May 12, 2005

Today, my friend told me that a lot of students talked behind my back and said bad things about me. Some said I was wierd or funny looking. My friend mentioned about 4 to 5 names in the class. Some of these people are in friendly terms with me but now I know they are not my allies just classmates. I know in school that people have their cliques and people don't like each other. But why do they have to say bad things behind people's back and appear all friendly and in reality it is not that way? I do not really care about people in class and I never ever said anything bad about a person there. Do you think I am taking this too personally? The friend who told me this, said he is not that shallow in judging a person.

I'm sorry for the hurtful things you heard, and I'm sorry that your "friend" felt the need to pass this garbage along to you.

The thing you should know is that even though the comments were directed at you, they really have nothing to do with you. People who make comments that put down others are, in a way, a kind of perverse attempt to try to make them feel better about themselves. It comes down to insecurity, and that's all about them.

Shake it off and concentrate on you. Other posters have great words of wisdom. Best wishes & {{{Hugs}}} to you!

SmilingBluEyes · May 12, 2005

My advice will be succinct:

Grow a thicker skin.

You will need it in NURSING---which is much more stressful and tougher than school. Let school be your "proving ground"--- and develop a strong sense of integrity and self-esteem. Don't let what others say bug you; just keep your head down and do what it takes to graduate and become a nurse.

GOOD LUCK and hang in there---you can do it.