Lost my confidence

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Hi to Everyone - I never thought I would be facing this, but I have lost my sense of confidence to be a nurse. I graduated with my BSN in December of 2013. The Board of Registered Nurses in California was backed up in processing applications to sit for the state exam due to a system change. Though I applied November 2013, I was not approved to take my exam till March 2014. The first open testing spot was in May. I took my Boards and passed. At that time I was on fire and ready to hit the ground running. But I struggled to find a new graduate position.

It has been a year to date since my graduation, which is the last time I had any clinical experience. Before I thought my problem was competing with other applicants or finding a new graduate opening. But for the past two months I have developed anxiety about getting a nursing position. I feel like I don't know anything and afraid I will be very awkward. Since I have lost my confidence to be a nurse I am afraid it will either block my job search or be very apparent in an interview.

I know that I want to do nursing because a recent opportunity passed me by (bad timing and job got filled) and I burst into tears. I'm not much of a crier so I knew it still mattered to me a great deal. But why then am I so scared; especially afraid that my lack of skill and lengthy time out of practice could harm a patient?

I signed up with Kaplan again to review nursing material to see if it would help, but it has not returned my confidence like I hoped. Would anyone have advice or words of wisdom? It's a horrible feeling to have right now and I don't know what to do about it. I worked so hard to make it this far and I can't believe this is happening.

Thank you so much -Karen

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Don't feel that way...we all go thru it even getting a job right after licensure. Just pray you find a great job that gives you all the orientation you need and that is what is going to make you feel comfortable... Have you found a position yet? You will be just fine...

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Hi NurseLynn - Thank you for taking the time on my post. No job yet. I keep checking a list of 16 hospitals within a hour's drive. No new graduate postings. The other RN positions say minimum 1 year+ or New Grads need not apply. I also browse the allnurses job board, as well as the ACNL. I used Indeed for a few months, but their new grad posts were filled by the time I applied. At this point I would even work for free as an intern if only to get my foot in the door and gain some confidence. I have been considering picking up work as a hospital CNA (I kept up on my certification.) Perhaps that could be another way in. Thank you again for your support. It really does help. And its a comfort somehow to know I am not the only person to have these feelings. Happy Holidays to you. :)

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Is it possible for you to take a refresher course that includes a clinical component? In the past, it was common for nurses who had been away from the bedside to re-enter nursing by taking refresher courses. The courses included classroom review and six weeks of clinical experience with a preceptor. Many of the nurses who took these courses said it helped them gain confidence in their skills.

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Specializes in Geriatrics.

You might try volunteering at a local clinic too, sometimes they are in need of nurses desperately to help out and this would be a good way to get your feet wet. I can relate to your situation as it took me nearly six months to find my first job.

Perhaps, too you might look in LTC, sometimes its not what we want right out of school, but sometimes you'll find that different nursing areas suit you better then what you thought you wanted in nursing school.

I thought I wanted acute ER, turns out it makes me to anxious, and I was more concerned about the MDs not addressing chronic illness'.

Moved to LTC, and wham I feel at home.

There are many things you can do, widen your perspective a little and see whats there.

Good luck!

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I can totally appreciate how you must feel right now, I would probably feel the same way. Nursing skills are perishable, if you don't use it you lose it. For example, placing peripheral IV's. Sure, you know the technique but if you don't do it for a while the skill is often a bit rusty. But don't worry, it's like riding a bike. Your orientation should allow you the time to get comfortable with your skills. Best wishes in your job search.

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I would apply to positions even if they're not directed towards new grads! Just start applying to any and every position. Then you read this lovely article: https://allnurses.com/nursing-job-search/i-got-a-532817.html and give that advice a try. That is exactly what I did and I ended up getting a call for an interview on a med/surg floor within the same week. Not only did I email nurse managers, but I emailed nurse recruiters and that's what got me in for the interview. You have to find a way to bypass all the HR computer nonsense so that an actual person sees your resume and you will have a much better chance once that happens.

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Hi Dishes...Thank you for the recommendation. I looked into a few refresher courses, but they were terribly expensive ($500 - $1,000) and wanted all money up front. I tried to see if financial aid could help, but it is not considered primary. However, your idea is a great one that I will keep trying because it sounds like it would be very helpful. Have a happy New Year!

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Hi Veronica - I probably needed to hear this because I have been very focused on finding a hospital job. I will check out LTC and hope they offer some sort of orientation phase. Interestingly enough, a friend called me today and mentioned an opening with a home care company as a Case Manager. They said they were willing to train a new graduate. With your advice on my mind I realized this could be one of those opportunities you spoke of with a wider perspective. I will follow up for sure; hoping to post a 'How I found my confidence' message. Thank you for your advice and I wish you a great New Year. :)

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Thank you for the article link. Not only helpful, but a good chuckle. I will give some of those tips a try. You are so right about HR. It is incredibly difficult to be seen if you get filtered out for not having all the criteria. As a new graduate I figured that was understood. Up till now I have only applied to new graduate positions and getting the idea I have nothing to lose applying for a more experienced position. Thanks again for the tips. Happy New Year!!

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I appreciate your vote of confidence. Sometimes I feel that's all I need. I've received so many great suggestions and surprised people took time to help me out. Part of my disappointment has been feeling out of the loop. I'm glad this website exists and nurturing nurses like yourself take the time to offer a few words. It has really lifted my spirits to keep on trying. Have a great New Year!

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Try a nursing home or snf. Any experience will be better than none;)

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