KatherineH8

Hi Neezy84 - I identify with your post, but I am at a different place. I am a new nurse who changed careers later in life (I'm in my 40s). I am a natural caregiver and finding nursing later in life truly was a calling. However, my experience in nurses training was rather difficult. Patient care was for the most part very positive, but I wasn't built to deal with the nastiness of other nurses or the constraints of a facility. By the time I graduated with my masters I found myself having anxiety starting my career. I associated finding a job with painful memories. Like you, I can't see myself doing anything else except nursing. I have been struggling to get past those negative emotions. So I want you to know that I understand how you feel and sorry you are going through this. I know how difficult it feels. I can only pass on to you what I am presently discovering for myself. Nursing is such a diverse field. It sounds like you are burnt out in terms of bedside care. Since you are presently determined to stick with nursing then continuing with your education will offer more options that can open new doors; but first you need to refresh your perspective. When you focus on negative emotions it can unknowingly attract it into your life. I know you have every right to feel anxious and upset, but you also need to remind yourself of the positive aspects of your job and that you have a right to feel rewarded. Seeking cognitive therapy might help you to overcome those blocks. Sometimes we are so locked in to those dark emotions that we can't even imagine an alternative experience. But it really does come down to how you choose to react or respond or behave. Because in the end, nursing is a challenging job in every way a person can be tested (emotionally, physically, mentally, socially, professionally). That's never going to change. And you will drive yourself mad if you are expecting your environment to change. It has to come from within. It is important too to recognize the patterns and pinpoint the experiences that keep cropping up that trigger your uncomfortable feelings. When you identify those specific things then you have something to work with. You are no longer in the dark; vulnerable to any attack. Often it can be this one thing that sabotages your day. Also, what I have found is that many people forget to find the humor in nursing. Take what you do seriously, but not yourself. Remember to laugh. I'm not suggesting to have a devil may care attitude, but instead just don't be so hard on yourself. Learn to distract yourself. Because when you work with a stressed frame of mind you can make mistakes, repel others, or even neglect. Lastly, realize its actually ok to not think about things. When you get in your car to go home, leave your day behind as well. Develop a personal life that gives you a break from nursing. I used to do that all the time. I would obsess about things that went wrong or why a fellow nurse was mean or a patient that just didn't like me. It never helped. I had to learn to let it all go. Of course there are times we need to think about things so that we can improve, but recognize when it becomes toxic. I wish you all the best and hope down the road you will post an update sharing your wisdom how you overcame your struggle. I'm sure you have a great deal to offer. Just give yourself permission.

Hi Nola - Thank you for the tip. I will check them out. - Happy New Year!!

I appreciate your vote of confidence. Sometimes I feel that's all I need. I've received so many great suggestions and surprised people took time to help me out. Part of my disappointment has been feeling out of the loop. I'm glad this website exists and nurturing nurses like yourself take the time to offer a few words. It has really lifted my spirits to keep on trying. Have a great New Year!

Thank you for the article link. Not only helpful, but a good chuckle. I will give some of those tips a try. You are so right about HR. It is incredibly difficult to be seen if you get filtered out for not having all the criteria. As a new graduate I figured that was understood. Up till now I have only applied to new graduate positions and getting the idea I have nothing to lose applying for a more experienced position. Thanks again for the tips. Happy New Year!!

Hi Veronica - I probably needed to hear this because I have been very focused on finding a hospital job. I will check out LTC and hope they offer some sort of orientation phase. Interestingly enough, a friend called me today and mentioned an opening with a home care company as a Case Manager. They said they were willing to train a new graduate. With your advice on my mind I realized this could be one of those opportunities you spoke of with a wider perspective. I will follow up for sure; hoping to post a 'How I found my confidence' message. Thank you for your advice and I wish you a great New Year. :)

Hi Dishes...Thank you for the recommendation. I looked into a few refresher courses, but they were terribly expensive ($500 - $1,000) and wanted all money up front. I tried to see if financial aid could help, but it is not considered primary. However, your idea is a great one that I will keep trying because it sounds like it would be very helpful. Have a happy New Year!

Hi NurseLynn - Thank you for taking the time on my post. No job yet. I keep checking a list of 16 hospitals within a hour's drive. No new graduate postings. The other RN positions say minimum 1 year+ or New Grads need not apply. I also browse the allnurses job board, as well as the ACNL. I used Indeed for a few months, but their new grad posts were filled by the time I applied. At this point I would even work for free as an intern if only to get my foot in the door and gain some confidence. I have been considering picking up work as a hospital CNA (I kept up on my certification.) Perhaps that could be another way in. Thank you again for your support. It really does help. And its a comfort somehow to know I am not the only person to have these feelings. Happy Holidays to you. :)

Hi to Everyone - I never thought I would be facing this, but I have lost my sense of confidence to be a nurse. I graduated with my BSN in December of 2013. The Board of Registered Nurses in California was backed up in processing applications to sit for the state exam due to a system change. Though I applied November 2013, I was not approved to take my exam till March 2014. The first open testing spot was in May. I took my Boards and passed. At that time I was on fire and ready to hit the ground running. But I struggled to find a new graduate position. It has been a year to date since my graduation, which is the last time I had any clinical experience. Before I thought my problem was competing with other applicants or finding a new graduate opening. But for the past two months I have developed anxiety about getting a nursing position. I feel like I don't know anything and afraid I will be very awkward. Since I have lost my confidence to be a nurse I am afraid it will either block my job search or be very apparent in an interview. I know that I want to do nursing because a recent opportunity passed me by (bad timing and job got filled) and I burst into tears. I'm not much of a crier so I knew it still mattered to me a great deal. But why then am I so scared; especially afraid that my lack of skill and lengthy time out of practice could harm a patient? I signed up with Kaplan again to review nursing material to see if it would help, but it has not returned my confidence like I hoped. Would anyone have advice or words of wisdom? It's a horrible feeling to have right now and I don't know what to do about it. I worked so hard to make it this far and I can't believe this is happening. Thank you so much -Karen