Life's Strange Detours....Where's My Map?!

[BedsideManner]

I am getting ready to start classes to become a CNA. I know this is no glamorous job, and I have never considered anything career/job oriented within the medical arena, but let me tell you how my decision was made to start on this road.

I found out that I was pregnant in April, because I had just turned 40, I had to get used to all of the "advanced maternal age" comments and the concerns about defects, premature labor, and low birth weight...you name it. I went through all of the blood work, the amniocentesis, ultrasounds, yadda yadda. My baby girl was still doing okay, nothing out of the ordinary for any normal birth.

My husband and I were looking forward to our new (albeit late) addition to our family and were making preparations for the arrival of our Christmas baby (December 20th). However, on November 4th, we discovered that she had gotten herself wrapped up in her umbilical cord and we lost her.

We were able to see her, and hold her and say our goodbyes with our families by our side. But the amazing thing was the care and concern of the CNA's, nurses, and my ever-caring OB/GYN. I was allowed to talk about my feelings when they came to "visit", I was told about some of their hardships that made me realize that I wasn't the only one who was going through such a loss or had ever gone through such a loss.

From my hospital room I became aware that if I could give the same kind of comfort through a word or deed just as my caregivers had been doing, even for a minute. To give someone peace of mind for one minute, it would be worth it.

What my hospital caregivers gave to me during those three days in the hospital will be with me for the rest of my life. They helped me start down the path to heal mentally and spiritually, not just physically from the first day that we lost my precious angel.:redbeathe

[SweetOldWorld, BSN, RN]

I am so sorry for your loss. And so happy that it has led you to this new path. Best wishes on your new career!

[BedsideManner]

Thank you. Life is so strange. :flowersfo

[katkonk, BSN, RN]

That was SO beautifully written! I am so sorry for your loss. I hope you will consider going into school to become a nurse, rather than just a CNA. If you can write like that, I would think that you can make it through an LVN program to start with, and decide if you want to go on from there. Consider LVN/LPN school. It sounds like you have a lot of warmth, intelligence and empathy to give. The very best of luck and God Bless you on your journey.

[LG1137]

Awesome story. GREAT outlook. Thanks for sharing!

[cheska_rn, ASN, RN]

You don't need a map --your heart is telling you the direction to go!

I am very sorry for your loss. I am glad you had very supportive staff to help you get through it.

Good luck in your CNA classes!!

[Coach]

"just a CNA", I don't think its a bad thing to be "just a CNA".

[PostOpPrincess, BSN, RN]

Good luck to you in your chosen endeavor.

And thank you so much for sharing your very tender story. I am so very, very, very sorry for the loss of your angel. May God guide you, and give you strength in your path.

Jo

[Midwest4me]

:icon_hug: My sincere condolences on your loss. Wishing I could hug you in person; we too lost a child in November many years ago so know the anguish you're experiencing. Take care of yourself!

[BedsideManner]

Thank you, so much to everyone. This has been the first time I have been able to put my thoughts and feelings into writing. I have been able to speak my daughter's name without breaking down and that is definitely a plus. Somehow, it was more difficult to put it down into "writing". However, your condolences, and heartfelt warmth has made this a rewarding experience.

For those who suggested that I'm headed in the right direction, that I seem to have the "right stuff", you have strengthened my resolve and I thank you with all of my heart.

Happy New Year to everyone! You are in my thoughts and prayers. :heartbeat

[freefalr]

bsm, i am so very sorry for the loss of your precious little angel.

i think you will make a wonderful cna and/or nurse, whatever you choose. thank you for deciding to make part of your life's journey joining our ranks! i will be happy to call you my fellow caregiver.

prayers of healing peace to you, your husband, and the rest of your family. :heartbeat

[RNman09]

My condolenses to you and your family. I believe you will make a wonderful CNA,or LVN,RN at whatever level you decide to stop. But either way it is a good start good luck to you.