Lesbian L and D nurse

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Hi all, ,

I am interested in becoming an L and D nurse. Have patients or hospitals had a problem with lesbians working in this specialty?

Thanks in advance

I read it. Thanks.

As for the man who didn't want women to see him naked, that he was tortured makes perfectly good sense. When I worked in Waterloo, Iowa which has a large Bosnian refugee population, it seemed that all the men had Peyronie's Syndrome, even the young ones. And you just know this was almost certainly inflicted on them by other men.

:cry: :down:

Yes, I have seen many tortured people in the various countries I have worked in.

Another possible is that the man may have been actually tortured by female interrogators. Many countries including the United States has used female interrogators to humiliate and torture male suspects. I a sure many on this thread already remember these stories from Guantanamo a few years back. A soldier during that time leaked the story. The pentagon first denied it. Then it claimed it has since reprimanded the female interrogators and has since changed it policy.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/americas/4523825.stm

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/americas/4255559.stm

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/south_asia/4566159.stm

This could explain my patients fear of women and not men.

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MCS1505.....

Maybe I should decide I am not going to take care of any patients that I know are straight......lol, don't see any gay or lesbian care providers saying that now do you?

psychRNinNY, Could you imagine what would happen if gay and lesbian patients decided that since they had negative experiences in the past with straight people, they started requesting gay only-same gender caretakers?! I rest my case.

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Mom-of-3 and MCS1505 I have a question for you. Would you have the same level of apprehensive about providing "intimate" care (foley, pericare, etc.) to male or lesbian patients as you do if they are your caregiver?

Many years ago when black nurses were finally allowed to work in "white" hospitals, many of my colleagues said they would treat a black patient but were not comfortable with a black nurse caring for them. They claimed they had bad experiences with black people in the past. I would tell them, "has it ever occurred to you that that the black nurses may have suffered though bad experiences with white people in the past!"

The hospital president at the time said racially based selection of staff was not practical. It is similar to the gay determination difficulties discussed on this thread. What is a black person? In some States it could mean only 1/64 "black ancestry". In other States it is determined by what the parents answer on the newborns birth certificate.

He told me you could not reliable go by skin color either, unless you used an apartheid style skin color chart to determine who was the white, black or colored nurses on staff. That was not only insulting to the staff but could cause problems if an African American had lighter skin than a tanned Caucasian.

So in the end he said it was all to complex and silly to worry about and he would instead try to hire the best nurses. He had HR remove the race question on all employment application forms. In all of the years I was at that facility I never had a black patient request "black-only" nurses.

Now the whole gay caretaker issue is even trickier. It is virtually impossible to determine sexual orientation. It will not show up in blood tests or DNA, hair color/texture, eye color, nose shape, height, skin color, etc. Besides many co-workers you think are straight maybe "in the closet".

So you can understand why a request for a straight female caregiver would cause me a great deal of problems. I did not mean to sound disrespectful or condescending. I just hope you understand why I don't see a way I could honor such a request.

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Specializes in Pediatric ED.
psychRNinNY, Could you imagine what would happen if gay and lesbian patients decided that since they had negative experiences in the past with straight people, they started requesting gay only-same gender caretakers?! I rest my case.

I never said I felt uncomfortable with GLBTs because I'd had a bad experience with them. *rolls eyes* I had I'd had a bad experience with "the opposite sex." Do I have to spell it out for you!?

Mom-of-3 and MCS1505 I have a question for you. Would you have the same level of apprehensive about providing "intimate" care (foley, pericare, etc.) to male or lesbian patients as you do if they are your caregiver?

Absolutely not. It has nothing to do with them. When I'm acting as a professional I act as a professional. When I am a patient, and I'm in a vilnerable position I want caregivers I trust. It's a little hard to trust someone when you're having a panic attack because they triggered flash backs.

So you can understand why a request for a straight female caregiver would cause me a great deal of problems. I did not mean to sound disrespectful or condescending. I just hope you understand why I don't see a way I could honor such a request.

No. I still think it is horribly insensitive not to honor the request of someone who is a physically vulnerable position and is being reminded of her (or his) assailant. It has nothing to do with the person who is triggering the memories. Good grief, a victim could freak out if my shampoo triggers the memory! That doesn't give me the right to get fussy and refuse to find him/her another nurse!! Stop making it all about you. Sometimes a patient's preference is so far beyond your realm of understanding; it's not up to you to judge anyone, even your patients. And I also think it's incredibly rude to make them justify themselves to you.

I shouldn't have to explain what happened to me to justify my request anymore than you should have to identify your sexual orientation. Those are private matters, and you're being hypocritical if you disagree.

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Specializes in CCU, SICU, CVSICU, Precepting & Teaching.

no. i still think it is horribly insensitive not to honor the request of someone who is a physically vulnerable position and is being reminded of her (or his) assailant. it has nothing to do with the person who is triggering the memories. good grief, a victim could freak out if my shampoo triggers the memory! that doesn't give me the right to get fussy and refuse to find him/her another nurse!! stop making it all about you. sometimes a patient's preference is so far beyond your realm of understanding; it's not up to you to judge anyone, even your patients. and i also think it's incredibly rude to make them justify themselves to you.

i shouldn't have to explain what happened to me to justify my request anymore than you should have to identify your sexual orientation. those are private matters, and you're being hypocritical if you disagree.

what we're trying to explain to you as nicely as possible is that it isn't possible to grant a request for a "straight female nurse, but a gay male would be ok." management doesn't know -- nor should they -- who is gay and who is straight. sometimes it's even difficult to know who is male and who is female! would a transgendered (male to female) nurse be ok? how about female to male? if the charge nurse doesn't know, how can she/he accomodate your request?

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Specializes in Pediatric ED.
what we're trying to explain to you as nicely as possible is that it isn't possible to grant a request for a "straight female nurse, but a gay male would be ok." management doesn't know -- nor should they -- who is gay and who is straight. sometimes it's even difficult to know who is male and who is female! would a transgendered (male to female) nurse be ok? how about female to male? if the charge nurse doesn't know, how can she/he accomodate your request?

well, if you would actually read what i said before than you'd know my request wouldn't be "no lesbian nurses" (duh) but would be "i want a different female nurse." because i'd only request it if i somehow found out (as i already said). i don't have any clue, how i'd find out because i'm not about to go asking.

i have no desire to enact policy anything, i just want my feelings respected when i'm ill or in pain.

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Absolutely not. Professionalism is the most important thing in nursing, and certainly not sexual orientation. There can be NO discrimination in the workplace whatsoever.

Good luck to you!

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Specializes in CTICU/CVICU.

I've read through this whole post and because I'm bored..going to throw my little two cents in:

1) I don't care what your sexual orientation is..if I'm in medical need..I need you to be competent and compassionate

2) People are so quick to say about lesbians/gays "I don't want to hear about your sexual life" but it's common and accepted for us heteros to talk about our sex life in the workplace. Honestly, I don't want to hear about ANYONE'S sex life out in the open like that..gay or straight.

3) In my personal opinion, the likelihood of someone requesting a straight nurse is the same as someone under my care requesting a white nurse (I'm black). Wonder which one they would prefer..a black nurse or white lesbian nurse..hmm..

4) I do think that someone who doesn't want a male nurse OR a lesbian nurse..do not want either for the same reason. What other reason would it be? Because they think they are going to be felt up in a sexual way.

5) I actually prefer male doctors (because I've always had male doctors growing up..so when it was time for me to pick my own, I naturally went for male doctors).

In truth..it all comes down to whether the person can safe and competently care for you. Cause after all..you see one "patch"...you've seen them all..what makes yours so special that the male doctor/nurse or lesbian nurse risks their career to get a free feel??? :)

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MCS1505.....And once again there is NOTHING sexual for either party in giving birth.......well I guess I can't speak for every delivering mom, I have seen weird crap on TV about moms getting turned on by contractions!!! God that is weird and gross!!! lol....but on the providers end of it.....nothing sexual about it!!!

I know this is totally off topic but if I could get turned on by my own contractions when I give birth that would be such a phenomenal alternative to the pain I've seen and heard about. LOL.

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If the OP is not going to run around announcing she is a lesbian why is she here asking if it will be an issue? How will anyone know? Just don't print it on your scrubs or put it in your introduction.

LovebugLPN, as I've explained in a couple of places on this thread, I asked this question because, the reality is that when you are in a work community, people share their lives so my co-workers may know that I'm gay and I wanted to know if that were the case how would/could that affect my continued employability. Unless I only work as a locum tenens(?) nurse, my co-workers would eventually notice no men in my life; a female guest at parties, etc. I think the thread has had a strong enough variation of responses that I know patients come for a short time while focused on life and ending pain, if they knew my orientation, they could feel uncomfortable with it yet, they would probably only know if I had a vindictive co-worker who told the family, as I wouldn't run around telling patients. On the other hand, as some have mentioned, I need to check the state I choose to work in because there are some states where even my co-workers knowing I'm gay could endanger my job. -- These are the reasons I asked.

I will say to everyone that I am thankful for all of the responses and have been re-enlightented about social presumptions (being in school in New York for the past four years has probably distanced me from a lot of social thinking that is typical throughout the country) -- I actually am categorically "black" and lesbian and a survivor of sexual assault and whether her perspective is progressive for society or not, I understand MCS1505's reservations about gynecologically dealing with anyone who signals a "type" that could be sexually interested in her type. Although I wasn't thinking about survivors when I asked this question, I'd like to encourage people to understand, and just be a little more sensitive to what MCS1505 is saying: that she wouldn't walk into a hospital and ask for a straight female nurse but if she knew that someone was male at all (gay or straight) or fell into a category that would be sexually attracted to women, she'd prefer someone female who isn't normally attracted to women. Between legal issues and the shortage of medical personnel, of course it would more than likely be impossible to grant such a wish but I don't think she was speaking of feasibilty, but preference and discomfort. As always, I think people have made really valid points but we as a society really need to understand that survivors, even when they aren't your patient, do not need to be attacked for their post-traumatic protection strategies.

Thanks everybody

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Specializes in ICU.

Audrey,

I understand your concerns completely. I'm 36 yrs old and have been with my partner for 11 years and counting. People do regard our orientation as "sexual" unfortunately. I knew my entire life that I was gay, but never, ever allowed myself to admire a woman from afar in the way that heterosexual men and women gawk at each other---"whether checking out a package/bulge,rack, talking about how hot someone is, etc". I did try to conform and did not begin dating women until my early 20s, but even at this point in my life, I am "out" to very, very few people. And our lives are not about sex, any more than that of a straight person. Its really about connection, support, friendship and love. In fact, as I finish my last semester of nursing school, the last thing on my mind is sex!

During my maternity rotation, I had a lot of the concerns that my patients would be uncomfortable if they knew. I knew that they would/could not know as I am very feminine in appearance, but those feelings were due to my own paranoia and stigma. The last thing that that I would ever want to do is make anyone uncomfortable, so I can respect someone's feelings as they are in a powerless and vulnerable position. Unfortunately, it may not be so easy for those gay women that are androgynous or "butch" in appearance. But my reasons for going in to nursing are not so that I can check out women, but rather because I know that I am capable, knowledgable and have a geniune desire to take care of people during their time of need.

I do not expect to be asked in an interview if I am homosexual nor do I plan to out myself to coworkers/mgmt w/ an "I'm here and queer campaign", so from that perspective, no one would ever know. However I would like to feel like a part of the team/unit by being able to attend a happy hour function or party or being able to talk about my weekend or my vacation plans or the funny movie we saw without feeling like it will come back to bite me b/c of someone's homophobia. Socializing w/ coworkers that bring their husbands and always ask "where is your bf/husband?" gets old. Even now, I attend NS in Podunk, TX and have to endure homophobic comments from students AND instructors regarding "going to see all the faggots at the gay pride parade" or being warned by our instructors that "we WILL at some point have to take care of a gay pt and to be prepared to be hit on or groped and to know how to handle yourself". Unbelievable!

I was in fact terminated from a job because of my orientation. I do not have proof or legal recourse, but am highly suspect given a rave review and $10,000 salary increase a month before I was laid off because the practice decided to go in a "different direction". What led up to that was the addition of my partner as a beneficiary in my life insurance plan 2 weeks before my layoff. Prior to this, everyone assumed that I had a boyfriend and that my partner was just a friend. So they did the math and low and behold I was no longer needed. The doc's friend was our agent and I was the Practice Manager. Whatever---they actually did me a favor as I found a fantastic and better paying job in a GLBT agency afterwards. Everything happens for a reason. Its just funny that I live in the 4th largest city in America and still see rampant discrimination and homophobia so often.

Anyway, I've rambled on about this, but know that you are not alone in your concerns and kudos to you for being strong enough to be open about your partner when asked. Follow your heart and your dreams b/c life is too short to look back later and say "If only I had...."

Good luck to you!!!

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Audrey,

I knew my entire life that I was gay, but never, ever allowed myself to admire a woman from afar in the way that heterosexual men and women gawk at each other---"whether checking out a package/bulge,rack, talking about how hot someone is, etc". And our lives are not about sex, any more than that of a straight person. Its really about connection, support, friendship and love. In fact, as I finish my last semester of nursing school, the last thing on my mind is sex!

However I would like to feel like a part of the team/unit by being able to attend a happy hour function or party or being able to talk about my weekend or my vacation plans or the funny movie we saw without feeling like it will come back to bite me b/c of someone's homophobia. Socializing w/ coworkers that bring their husbands and always ask "where is your bf/husband?" gets old. Even now, I attend NS in Podunk, TX and have to endure homophobic comments from students AND instructors regarding "going to see all the faggots at the gay pride parade" or being warned by our instructors that "we WILL at some point have to take care of a gay pt and to be prepared to be hit on or groped and to know how to handle yourself". Unbelievable!

I was in fact terminated from a job because of my orientation. Its just funny that I live in the 4th largest city in America and still see rampant discrimination and homophobia so often.

Your self identification experience totally parallels mine and defines the reason, in my unstudied opinion, we do not suddenly behave like men socially just because we are attracted to women.

I am so astounded that someone would teach adults that they WILL get hit on by gays, but like I said, these types of views are the sorts of things about which I wanted to learn before moving forward. God Bless you as you move forward in your career. I hope you feel comfortable enough to be the out and "surprisingly normal" to the homophobic around you. I have found that without trying, I am always so "surprisingly conservative" to my peers. Educating people through being yourself is the strongest path to changing these things. My entire childhood was like the re-education of white people about black people as I was the only black kid in the class so often. I think when I move out of New York, its going to be the same thing regarding my sexuality orientation. Thanks for your voice and support.

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