Learning to keep quiet

Davey Do · Mar 4, 2023

The act of writing in the written word- not typed- is very therapeutic.

Julia Cameron, in her book The Artist's Way, advises an activity called "Morning Pages" for those experiencing a block. Basically, for about 15 minutes every morning, we are to write any thought which comes to mind, paying no attention to penmanship, grammar, spelling, punctuation, etc.

I kept a pocket journal with me at work and would jot down and/or draw whatever was on my mind. Those two-minute vacations were extremely therapeutic. My thoughts and emotions became tangible, provided a catharsis, and allowed me to focus on the business at hand.

Most people need to verbalize- a action/reaction thing. We have difficulty NOT expressing our negative reactions and spouting off, or what have you, and verbalizing our thoughts is the quickest and most available resource.

No one else ever had to read what I wrote, and I kept my journal in my pocket when not in use for concern it might fall into unscrupulous hands.

Give it a try, this nurse. It worked for me to be able to say whatever I wanted and not have to deal with the ramifications of my verbal spewings.

JKL33 · Mar 4, 2023

What kind of noise are you making and what are you accomplishing with it?

JBMmom, MSN, NP · Mar 4, 2023

Do you find you're chatting too much and can't get work done? Are you expressing opinions that aren't necessary or causing problems? Are you just randomly blurting out words or noises? Your reference to self talk leads me to think that maybe you're trying to talk less through stressful situations, but I'm not exactly sure of the situation and your goal. What kind of quiet are you hoping to achieve?

thisnurse123 · Mar 4, 2023

JBMmom said:

Do you find you're chatting too much and can't get work done? Are you expressing opinions that aren't necessary or causing problems? Are you just randomly blurting out words or noises? Your reference to self talk leads me to think that maybe you're trying to talk less through stressful situations, but I'm not exactly sure of the situation and your goal. What kind of quiet are you hoping to achieve?

Hopefully no more causing trouble because no matter how much I try to avoid it I find myself in trouble. And I aspire to be professional and well put together.

Davey Do · Mar 4, 2023

In our attempts to deal with negative emotional reactions to stressors, we need to use a method which will work for us. Suppression is not usually a good method because, as in Newton's Law, there needs to be an equal and opposite reaction.

Some studies have shown that the majority of physical maladies are the result of suppressed emotions. A typical reaction of the body is chronic back pain, according to those studies.

A typical reaction to negative feelings is to lash out verbally, and sometimes physically. These are non-productive methods, and we will need to deal with the ramifications. That's why lashing out in the written word is so beneficial. Writing is a physical act where we use a certain part of the brain in order to do so. Typing on a keyboard will not cut it.

Writing and/or drawing at work has allowed me to keep composure, and if it didn't totally quell my feelings, I would exercise aerobically and/or with weights when I could.

When I was going through some major life crises, I would think of what was bothering me as I worked out. The adrenal glands were stimulated which gave me more endurance. I would try to match my physical discomfort with my emotional discomfort. When the level of physical discomfort exceeded the emotional discomfort, I would back off and warm down.

I've been through dealing with deaths, divorces, a civil suit, horrendous working conditions, etc. etc. and in utilizing these and other methods of dealing with stress, I am a relatively stable person. But the bottom-line thing is that I am okay with who I am.

And we all want to be okay with who we are, because we have to sleep and live with ourselves 24/7.

JBMmom, MSN, NP · Mar 7, 2023

thisnurse123 said:

Hopefully no more causing trouble because no matter how much I try to avoid it I find myself in trouble. And I aspire to be professional and well put together.

Obviously you're here to share what works for you and you're looking for assistance, I just find your description still a bit vague to offer any concrete advice. I guess that given your stated aspirations to be professional and put together I would just advise that you try to slow yourself down in situations where you find you may say something that you regret later and think through the potential consequences of whatever you choose to say.

Career Columnist / Author · Mar 7, 2023

I'm not sure I'm clear on the problem, but you recognize you have a problem and want to do better. That's half the battle!

I once had a supervisor who was an excellent communicator. When I had something to say, I would pause and think, "What would Brian do (or say)?" In that way, I learned from people who had the skills I wanted to acquire.