Learning to be emotionally neutral

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Well, I start NS in the fall and currently am taking my last support course, Micro, this summer I session. Everything was going okay, the class is difficult, but I was maintaining. Then yesterday I had a mini-meltdown. We were in lab and I spilled some of my bacteria. Told professor, and he cleaned it up, I offered but he went ahead and cleaned it. Four others ended up spilling some of their bacteria as well. I was using the pippette to introduce my bacteria into a solution-this young lady in the group, she is nice but she is at the same time trying to act like teacher assistant. She runs the show when we do a group thing and she gets right up there when one is trying to manipulate items in lab experiment. Generally she will give advice non-stop. So, Professor comes over and is watching me use pippette telling me this, and that, then said young lady is right there in my space also telling me what I am screwing up. Also during experiment I brought over four pippettes and said young lady condesendingly told me we only needed one. I asked professor, he said needed four, and when I brought the four back to the table-the look she gave me was so snobby!! I understand that it is up to me not to allow people to work my nerves, but yesterday I allowed it. I started crying in lab and talked to professor outside of room. He was understanding and gave good advise. I just must develop a thicker skin, there will always be someone irritating. Sometimes I wish I weren't such a nice person, sometimes others take advantage of that-any advise is welcomed:nurse::bowingpur:nurse:

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Next time, what if you smile very nicely and say " Thank you so much for wanting to help and give advice, but I would really like to figure this out on my own. If I need advice or help you'll be the first one I ask, thanks!"...then go back to what you are doing. A little assertiveness with a smile can go a long way.

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have you tried ssshhh-ing her?? i'm old and frankly don't put up with the piddly games. i know i have issues, i can be a "motormouth" outside of the hospital. in the hospital i am very busy concentrating, and focusing therefore quiet; but in the classroom or lab i've told them just ssshhh me if i'm getting on your nerves. i was a substitute teacher for 18-20 years and i've worked out the art of ssshhhing!!

the only person you have to impress in micro is your professor, not some nitwit who thinks she is more important than she is. don't let her get to you. if she thinks she can do it with one pippette, let her try then have the other three in your pocket

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Specializes in interested in NICU!!.

let's see if this will finally post!!

anyhow-just tell her in a good way that "you didn't ask a quesiton, and when you do need help, you'll ask the instructor-thanks." and if she's the kind that goes on and on, just tell her to stop, that instead of helping you she's doing the opposite.

if she dares tell you something after being told to stop, just tell her that no one asked for her advice.

good luck

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Specializes in Psychiatry.

I would say (and have said before to folks such as her): "Thanks for the feedback, but I specifically asked the instructor, not you"

Oh, I'm old too... I don't play those games. Wasn't in school to make friends with those who play games, either.

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Specializes in Critical Care-Neuro/Trauma ICU.

It has been my experience that there is at least one of these people in EVERY class. I am currently starting my last year of nursing school and there are 2 people that I am stuck with EVERY SINGLE DAY in classes that will talk over you, get in your face, tell you what to do...and the funny thing is that 99.9% of the time THEY are wrong. I am also taking microbiology right now and have the exact same problem with a girl in my class...she tries to tell ME about aseptic technique and thinks she knows everything about medicine, but is not even ready to apply for a nursing program. Maybe it's that I'm older than some of these people but I just don't take any crap from them...I let it roll off my back and say, "Next time I want your advice I will ask for it", or "I'm pretty sure I was talking to our very experienced instructor...I don't recall saying your name". It might be rude but sometimes you have to make them back off. Don't take any crap off of anyone...just be politely tactful!! Good luck!!

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There's plenty of "drama" to be had in nursing school if you allow it to suck you in.

You just need to rise above it and not be afraid to put someone in their place. You're investing too much in this process to take that from another student.

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This is probably going to be one of my issues as well. Well, keeping my mouth shut will probably be the issue. I have a weeee bit of a temper and people like that generally annoy me enough that I end up saying something rude and condescending. :imbar

Becoming more emotionally neutral like you said and not getting myself worked up over their behavior is going to be one of the more challenging aspects of nursing for me I think.

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Specializes in NICU/Subacute/MDS.
Next time, what if you smile very nicely and say " Thank you so much for wanting to help and give advice, but I would really like to figure this out on my own. If I need advice or help you'll be the first one I ask, thanks!"...then go back to what you are doing. A little assertiveness with a smile can go a long way.

I have to agree with this post. Just let her know that you do not need her help, but no reason to be angry or defensive. In fact, your agitation may have nothing to do with her anyway. It sounds like you are under a lot of pressure and stress. You are entering a difficult and stressful journey to becoming a nurse. Pre-req's are difficult, and some of the instructors really pile on the pressure.

It sounds like you are doing fine in your class. You will be graded on test scores, so no need to worry about impressing anyone! I don't think you need to become emotionally neutral, your emotions help make you a great nurse. Just learn to stand back and laugh at the situation. For all you know that wanna-be-bossy girl is just covering up for her feelings of inadequacy!

Good luck!

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Mom35,

I know exactly how you feel. I am not a nursing student yet, but I will be starting nursing school in July. I attended school for medical assisting and I am currently doing an externship that I just started this week. There is one MA at the site I am doing my externship at, and I will tell you now, if you worked with anyone like her, you would probably want to punch her in the face. She is the most rude, disrespectful, annoying, ******, (sorry about last word, lol) MA I have ever come across. I was told by the other MA I am working with that she wants to get into nursing school, but it seems to me that she already has the "****** nurse attitude." I don't mean to offend anyone by saying that, because not all nurses or nursing students are like that. She is not my manager and she is definately not the doctor. When she calls patients back to do vitals and assessment, she is rude and mean to most of them if they don't hear her or if she has to repeat something. And if she has to redo a procedure, she gets angry with the patient and tells them to stop screwing up the procedure. Her behavior towards the patients is uncalled for and should not be tolerated, but she always gets away with it. And as for me, if I don't hear something she says or she has to repeat something to me(BTW, I am hard of hearing), she gets ****** off at me. She also wants just about everything done HER way. She does not run the office and I know exactly what I am doing and do not need her to tell me how to do my job. Sometimes I feel like punching her in the face or cussing her out, but I always stop myself and take crap from her. Again, her behavior towards me is also uncalled for and should not be tolerated, but like always, she gets away with it. I honestly don't think she should be in the medical field and should not pursue a future in nursing mainly because of the way she treats patients and co-workers. I think she is only in it for the money. She may have more experience than I do, but I'm stuck with her and "her" office for the next four weeks and she will have to deal with it whether she likes it or not. I am the complete opposite of this MA and I treat the patients and co-workers with respect and I am in the medical field because I am loving caring, and want to help other people. I don't care about the money. So Mom35, I hope this helps, because I am in the exact same situation as you are and I know how you feel. Just take a few deep breaths and think before you speak or act. Don't do anything that will give you a failing grade in the class. It will be over before you know it and you will make it out just fine.

One more thing, I want opinions from other nursing students or nurses. When you do deal with someone that is the way I described in the paragraph above, do you feel that you can't take criticism very well or handle other crabby nursing students or nurses? With me, I am a little sensitive and I try to act tough, lol. How do you take criticism or someone being really mean to you without having a meltdown? In nursing school, do you learn how to deal with this type of stuff or does it just come naturally? Any advice would be great. And sorry for anyone that reads this LONG reply, lol.

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