Ladies Vs. Real Women

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Specializes in LTC.

Ladies - Don't throw out all that leftover wine. Freeze into ice cubes for future use in casseroles and sauces.

Real Women - Leftover wine?? Hello!!

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Ladies - Cure for headaches: Take a lime, cut it in half and rub it on your forehead. The throbbing will go away.

Real Women - Take a lime, mix it with tequila, chill and drink. You might still have the headache, but who cares!

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Ladies - Stuff a miniature marshmallow in the bottom of a sugar cone to prevent ice cream drips.

Real Women - Just suck the ice cream out of the bottom of the cone, for Pete's sake. You are probably sitting on your butt on the couch, with your feet up anyway.

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Ladies - To keep potatoes from budding, place an apple in the bag with the potatoes.

Real Women - Buy boxed mashed potato mix and you don't have to worry about the potatoes growing arms and legs.

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Ladies - When a cake recipe calls for flouring the baking pan, use a bit of the dry cake mix instead and there won't be any white powdery mess on the bottom of the cake.

Real Women - Go to the bakery - they'll even decorate the thing for you.

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Ladies - Brush some beaten egg white over pie crust before baking to yield a beautiful glossy finish.

Real Women - Sara Lee frozen pie directions don't include brushing egg whites, so don't do it.

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Ladies - If you have a problem opening jars, try using latex dishwashing gloves. They give a non slip grip that makes opening jars easy.

Real Women - Go ask the very HOT neighbor guy to do it.

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And finally the most important tip....

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A good friend will come and bail you out of jail....... but, a true friend will be sitting next to you saying, "Man that was fun!!

:roll

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Specializes in midwifery, ophthalmics, general practice.

Guess I'm not a lady.................

Karen

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Specializes in LTC.

Being a "lady" takes waaaaayyyyyyyyyy too much time. I'm all for quick and easy solutions.

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Love it! I always knew that I wasn't a lady. Being real is more fun!

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:rotfl: :chuckle :rotfl: :chuckle 11_12_10.gif

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Specializes in LTC, assisted living, med-surg, psych.

Yep, definitely NOT a lady by these definitions. My poor mother just about wore herself out trying to make me one, but much to her dismay, it never took........oh, darn! :chuckle

Here's a few more comparisons:

Ladies: Would rather walk on hot coals than admit they have gas.

Real Women: There's more room outside than inside!

Ladies: Know at least 10 different ways to fold cloth napkins.

Real Women: Paper towels do the job much better, and you don't have to wash 'em either.

Ladies: Wear hats, stockings, and (egads) full slips.

Real Women: Haven't owned a slip since 1975.

Ladies: Do not have bodily functions.

Real Women: Use the bathroom at work and STILL can look their co-workers in the eye afterwards. :)

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Real women rock!

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Specializes in Community Health Nurse.

Well.......I'm a WOOOMAN...W - O - M - A - N...as the song goes. :rotfl:

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