Just a vent, No offense intended

[MizChelleRN]

Good morning all!!!!

I almost replied to a thread outside of the Nurses in Recovery forum (I know, shock! Right?) this morning, but I held my tongue. And it wasn't about any one nurse or poster either, so please don't get me wrong. But when others are venting about their jobs or about silly gossipy conflicts, or about patients being too demanding, or whatever, I just want to scream....I would do your job in a heartbeat! I almost LOST EVERYTHING, lost my license, lost a big part of my IDENTITY. I, too, took my job for granted, thought it was the crappiest job in the world, heck, I had to divert meds just to have the patience to get through a shift I hated it so much. Then it was all taken away from me in a minute and my world completely crumbled. When I wrote that I lost my identity, I feel like I truly did, but it is in recovery that I've learned that I am so much more than just my career, or what I do.

I recently spoke with another former nurse in recovery who basically told me she will NEVER see her license again (she has a violent felony on her record) and she says she misses complaining about workloads and patients and scut work now, because we took it all for granted when we had it, but take it away and it breaks our hearts.

I have been blessed with this second chance to get my life on track and I'm telling you now, I'm not going to take it for granted. I shouldn't deny a fellow nurse the chance to vent, so I guess I'm feeling guilty about that, but isn't it about perspective? Especially with the economy and nurses out of work?

Am I not practicing acceptance? Or am I frustrated that others aren't practicing their acceptance? Am I taking others' inventories? Am I rambling or does any of this even make any sense? I'm going to hit submit now, because I usually just delete threads and not send them. (My disease tells me that whatever I have to say isn't important, no one wants to hear what I say, etc etc etc.)

BTW Wish me luck! I've been granted my license back with six month narc restrictions after eight months unemployed and focusing on my recovery. I look forward to this next step in my journey, I am praying for my Higher Power to help me find my place in the world. xo

[ellakate]

Hello, MizChelleRN,

Congratulations on the return of your license! You must be very relieved.

Be nicer to yourself. Allow yourself a safe place to vent (like present company).

Thank you for reminding me that it can all be gone in a heartbeat.

Congratulations on getting back on track.

Keep up the good work!

[Tweety, BSN, RN]

You're only being human. Congratulations....

[canoehead, BSN, RN]

Good luck with your recovery.

The nurses crabbing away on the boards are coping the best way they can, and hopefully without diverting, so more power to them. Things are rough all over.

[jackstem]

Am I not practicing acceptance? Or am I frustrated that others aren't practicing their acceptance? Am I taking others' inventories? Am I rambling or does any of this even make any sense?

Your post makes sense.

The questions you ask are "normal" for a recovering nurse. Keep asking questions, they will help you build a solid program of recovery.

Congrats on getting you license back. This is a great example of what can happen if you put recovery first!

Jack

[NeedchangeofPace]

[quote=MizChelleRN;4001

(My disease tells me that whatever I have to say isn't important, no one wants to hear what I say, etc etc etc.)

xo

First off Congratulations on having your license reinstated.

I am probably going to catch a lot a crap for this but....it seems to me that there are a number of posters who actually "get" the program, even though they have little time working it. Others are just whining about all the hoops they have to go through with the courts, BON, OIG, because they made a "mistake" and got caught. They, to me anyway, seem to be just going through the motions of supposedly working the program to get their license back.

I have seen people in the program that have been working it for a while, but for whatever reason just cannot seem to grasp it, but stay sober. Others that have been in a short while understand one piece of it and it seems that they become energised and yearn for more pieces to assemble and come to a realisation that life is better now and life has dealt them a new set of cards to play and take life as it comes.

Yes this board is to vent, but to me it seems there is more whining going as of late. Is it the economy? I don't know..

Jack is right asking questions is normal and it does help to solidify your sobriety.

I enjoy reading others who post about their stories, in particular Jack's as he has a very keen insight into things and can articualte so well.

So don't let the disease stop you from posting, I want to hear it as do others, so start inconvieniencing some electrons now!!

Mark

[jackstem]

Mark...your check is in the mail!!

Jack

(Thanks :smilecoffeecup:)

[NeedchangeofPace]

Thanks Jack, I can get that newspaper I have always wanted!!!!!

Mark

[catmom1, BSN, RN]

MizChelleRN---

As others have said here, I don't think there is anything wrong with what you posted. Life is all about perspective. I am also out of work and searching and sometimes struggle to have a positive attitude.

Believe me, some days I would give anything to have that pristine license that I once had but didn't appreciate. The way I see it is that I needed every one of my horrible consequences to get me to a point that I was willing to change my life. Admitting that I had been wrong in treatment was a very freeing experience for me.

It is so true that we don't fully appreciate anything until we lose (or almost lose) it.

Please keep venting here. I have enjoyed the thought provoking discussion in this thread.

Catmom :paw:

[debnky]

:yeah:Congratulations on getting your license back keep up the gratitude it is infectious. I love when I hear it from the heart. Great conversations on this board. I am enjoying reading this board.