Just need to talk (long and sad)

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Hello,

I was just wanting to talk, not really vent or anything. I work in a level 3, I have been taking care of a littlle 25 weeker for about 2 1/2 months now. He was a twin, he was the larger and went from vent to high flow in a matter of a week or so. Sister was on vent for 2 months or so an is just now on high flow. He perfed 2 times in the first 2 weeks of life and had an ostomy as a result. He had started becoming sick a few days ago and we started antibiotics and did a work up. His mother and I have had a few heart to heart talks because of test results. He had a grade 3 and grade 4 bleed (IVH), blood pressure issues, etc...:o Monday night I had the baby next to him but helped with his care because he was so sick. His mom asked me to take care of him the next night when I came back the next night; she asked the charge nurse and she said ok. I was ok with it as it seemed so important to her and I have grown attached to both the babies. I got to work last night and found that he had died during the afternoon.:crying2: I was really affected by it but bottled everything in and took care of the babies I was assigned. I went to check on the Mom but she had already left to go home to regroup; they moved the sister to another part of our unit. I just feel kind of blue and wishing I could not get attached but that is part of our compassion I suppose. I would like to do something for the Mom but I don't know what would be appropriate, just a card seems a little impersonal. I was crocheting blankets for them both for their issolettes. Should I still give it to her?

Specializes in Level III NICU.
Oh I love that Quote too - always wished I get it for a gift! When I see it next time I'm going to get it for myself!

I saw it on a plane, in one of the skymall catalogs. I copied it down on a napkin, cause I wanted to use it as my signature on here. It's such a great quote!

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I have missed this board so much and now I remember why! You are all too sweet. Good to be back!!!

hrmph, and about time! lol...and how be the new mommy gig going?

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Specializes in NICU and neonatal transport.

Thanks to all of you, I had a death yesterday (It always seems to be me cos I don't mind taking the really sick ones) after a very long day of a very sick baby with extra infusions and drugs added every half hour with the baby growing more oedematous all shift with massive Twaves and NEC and fits. So when the baby collapsed (after looking after the baby for 2 14hr shifts together), had a long resus and then the parents asked to stop, did the whole death care with mum (no local family support and dad not dealing with it) ie bath and dressing and lines and photos etc....I didn't have time to let it in. So thanks for helping me cry for this little one x

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Specializes in Level III NICU.
Thanks to all of you, I had a death yesterday (It always seems to be me cos I don't mind taking the really sick ones) after a very long day of a very sick baby with extra infusions and drugs added every half hour with the baby growing more oedematous all shift with massive Twaves and NEC and fits. So when the baby collapsed (after looking after the baby for 2 14hr shifts together), had a long resus and then the parents asked to stop, did the whole death care with mum (no local family support and dad not dealing with it) ie bath and dressing and lines and photos etc....I didn't have time to let it in. So thanks for helping me cry for this little one x

:icon_hug:

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