just got off ltd, now back to hospital, so overwhelmed.Please HELP ur sister, !

Liddle Noodnik · Sep 1, 2007

...now they're saying i'm not safe to work there...was sent to occupational health and neuropsychological testing...was told by psychologist need gradual reintroduction to the work place...i need feedbacks please...my self-esteem and morale is so low after these incidents....:uhoh21:

Maybe it wasn't what happened w/ the patient that concerned them, maybe your reaction to the situation? I don't know. It seems extreme to me.

At the same time is it better to work up to your regular hours and job description more slowly anyway? I think I'd want to do that, myself.

I think you would do well to have your OWN doctors evaluate you - not just occupational health...

As to your self-esteem/morale - you are the only one who can bring those down - not anyone else - so keep yourself positive! k?

Good luck w/ this and hang in there! I can see how you would be frustrated!

woody62, RN · Sep 1, 2007

I have worked with an number of nurses who were out on disability and I have been permanently disabled since November 28, 1988. While you may hear that no one can make you feel down and lower your self-esteem but yourself. I do not believe this is true. I base my observation on nine years of working with injured workers, many of whom had difficulty returning to productive employment. At lot of the time, there attitudes were influenced by supervisors and their peers. Unfortunately, most employers and employees do not believe that someone is suffering from a disability and may need adjustments made to their work situation in order to keep working. They seem to base their attitudes on past experience where either they or someone they know, has defraud the system to make life simple for themselves.

Returning to full time productive employment can be difficult after being out for a long period of time. Your ability to stand an eight or twelve hour shift is impacted. One can get easily tired. And when you are tired, you are more prone to make mistakes. I would get assistance from the psychotherapist, in working thru any problems you may have. It does not mean you have mental health issues, it just means you need some advice from a professional, who deals with this type of assistance on a daily bases. She/he can offer you assistance and suggestions. You also need to look at yourself and your expectations, as well as what things prevent you from reaching your goals.

The best advice I can give you is to take one day at a time. And don't give up. And one step at a time.

Woody:balloons:

Liddle Noodnik · Sep 3, 2007

I have worked with an number of nurses who were out on disability and I have been permanently disabled since November 28, 1988. While you may hear that no one can make you feel down and lower your self-esteem but yourself. I do not believe this is true.

I guess I should clarify, Woody, it was kind of a generalization that might have put her down, I am sorry. I'm not some Pollyanna who has not experienced reality

What I meant was that I have always defined myself by what I "do" and not by what I "am". So when I became disabled and was no longer able to function as a nurse (eventually couldn't function as ANYthing!), I felt like a failure. My workplace seemed to affirm that. Ignorant people who didn't understand my disability affirmed that. I thought I was nothing.

Poverty did not help. Of course you get treated like it's your fault that you're in this predicament. If you need any kind of welfare, many times you are treated like you are an idiot. And, many of us have the work ethic instilled in us, that if you want to eat, you work. You don't work, you don't deserve things. Therefore ...

Social security also makes you feel like you are just lazy and trying to get what you can off the government. You pay into this system, but supposedly you are trying to take a free ride? Again, if you are beaten down by circumstances or by people say, it's easy to feel put down and "less than". Do I like telling people I'm on disability? Noooo, I avoid telling them for just these reasons. I don't want to feel bad, and I don't want them to judge me (some will, some won't)

Family in particular will say "Pull yourself up by the bootstraps". It has taken me years to educate some of them and some will never (or refuse to) understand.

What else? Self esteem. There is a difference between self-esteem and other-esteem is what I was trying to say. All the things that happened to me did beat me down - I tried to take my life over it once - I couldn't leave my house for long periods of time, things got better and then they would get even worse. That reinforced my beliefs about myself.

But just because I believed I was nothing/was worthless, or that it was my fault - doesn't mean that those beliefs were the truth. I am of value to God no matter what. Of value to my family, my community, etc etc. There is a whole lot I have to offer that has nothing to do with earning a paycheck! Does that make me "less than"? I wouldn't have found that out without going thru the immense pain.

So what I was saying was - people can't "make" you feel bad without your consent.

A cliche, yes. But that doesn't make it untrue.

I think what you are saying is that the circumstances and the people do actually press you down... and that is true. But -- you have to then work at knowing what else is true - so that you will understand your TRUE value - not based on anyone, or anything. Even money in your pocket.

It takes a lot of work, and more than that, TIME! We also need the right kinds of support to come to that conclusion, to then be able to move on from there and find your A-bility. For me, that meant relying on God, great friends, good counseling, a doctor that listened to me and respected my choices, etc.

Eventually I have become able to function at half steam, which has helped me to feel better about myself - but it's because I know that I am more than what I do. I'm making a little bit of money now and that is cool ... but ... what if I never am able to move beyond the level of recovery I'm at? What if I hadn't been ABLE to get this far? Or, what if I LOSE my ability to work? Again, my "self" esteem has to be based on more than the outside, or what people say.

I got more long-winded on this than I intended but - hope this clarifies ...

redhotzzz · Sep 7, 2007

I absolutely can feel your pain! I have not even been given the chance to return to work because after 37yrs in the ER nobody has taken the time to ask me WHY, at age 54, I suddenly want to leave it and do a slower paced job. In AMERICA, we have the Americans with Disabilities Act and supposedly your immediate supervisors and managers are not privy to your health information if you have been cleared to work by your MD and Human Resources or Employee Health. They are not allowed to ask you about your disability and are supposed to offer you whatever you need to work safely in the environment you are working in~~~whether it be a slower time frame of reentry or special tools or objects to work with. I don't have a copy of the book, myself but I am about to find one.

I, too, am being looked down at because in the past 18 months I had a detached retina with 14 eye surgeries and the opthamologist left my intra-ocular pressures up too high too long and now I'm blind in one eye forever. That caused me to fall off the bed, changing light bulbs in a ceiling fan to read the classifieds, and I broke BOTH my right leg and right forearm 11mons ago and I have had multiple surgeries in both and now have titanium plates in both. I was at a new job so I had NO STD, NO LTD and only got Food Stamps because my teen son gets social security from his dad's retirement and that pays our rent.

I'm treated like I'd deaf, blind and dumb at interviews and have been on 36 of them and no job. I've resorted to going to walmart and grocery stores close to home, so I can walk there if I have no gas for my car. Those stores do the same thing~~they see a sparkling resume of 37yr of Emergency RN jobs and toss my resume>>>why would I want to stock shelves at walmart??? Has ONE of them ever asked me that???? Heck NO! Now I tell them the reason...as I hand in my resume. I feel the same as you do....depressed, rejected, and on the edge of cashing my chips in>>>really!

I can NOT BELIEVE that anyone here would tell you that it's all your doing to bring your self esteem back up and then quote the bible!!! I am shocked~ and even more disheartened~ that this site is even for me if that is how caring other RNs are about their sisters!

Here's a little quote I learned as a child...NOT from the bible that I know of but I live by it: "WHAT GOES AROUND ALWAYS COMES BACK AROUND TO YOU. YOU DON'T GET TO CHOOSE WHEN IT COMES BACK OR HOW IT COMES BACK, BUT IT DOES COME BACK AROUND".

If you need to chat with someone, I am here for you. I will do whatever I can to help you and want nothing in return for it.....just friendship.

I feel every bit of your pain. Those peers you have to work with....their 'what goes around WILL come back to get them. Keep your chin up and find me.

Liddle Noodnik · Sep 7, 2007

I can NOT BELIEVE that anyone here would tell you that it's all your doing to bring your self esteem back up and then quote the bible!!! I am shocked~ and even more disheartened~ that this site is even for me if that is how caring other RNs are about their sisters!

I came back to edit my original response to the above, I didn't mean to be sarcastic, just was reacting to what felt like an attack - and it wasn't even addressed to me. I'm "standing" right here and I can hear you, lol ...

I am not saying I have experienced what you or the OP or anyone have experienced. I don't know if I could handle physical problems like you guys. Mine is psychological. It is different in many ways, but in many ways it's not.

Like you, I used to work as a nurse. I started working in 1981, and I was making $30/hr @ 36 hrs/week. I was good at what I did. But I had to stop due to my illness.

And so, after being unable to work at all for 3 yrs, did I choose to work at the Salvation Army Store at $6.75/hr x 20 hrs a week? WALMART wouldn't even hire me. So I can relate to you.

You think that working at the Salvation Army gave me any self esteem? Or seeing the looks from coworkers, or trying to get disability and welfare? Or being in a psychiatric hospital? No - that self esteem had to come from elsewhere. For me it was from God; that was my own experience. I'm not saying anyone HAS to try it. And quoting the Bible is not something I consider unkind. If it is unkind to you, say so, but say it to me. And don't judge the whole discussion board by my opinion, because that's all it is.

I responded to the OP because I really felt for her, what she was going through, and wanted to help. Just my advice. That and $2. will buy her a cup of coffee.

FranEMTnurse, CNA, LPN, EMT-I · Sep 7, 2007

each and every one of us is different, and each one is helped by a different resource. some by counseling, some by just talling to good friends, and the quote "what goes around comes around" is directly from the bible, only worded in everyday language. the passage is in romans 12 verse 19.

leslie :-D · Sep 7, 2007

I can NOT BELIEVE that anyone here would tell you that it's all your doing to bring your self esteem back up and then quote the bible!!! I am shocked~ and even more disheartened~ that this site is even for me if that is how caring other RNs are about their sisters!
Here's a little quote I learned as a child...NOT from the bible that I know of but I live by it: "WHAT GOES AROUND ALWAYS COMES BACK AROUND TO YOU. YOU DON'T GET TO CHOOSE WHEN IT COMES BACK OR HOW IT COMES BACK, BUT IT DOES COME BACK AROUND".
If you need to chat with someone, I am here for you. I will do whatever I can to help you and want nothing in return for it.....just friendship.
I feel every bit of your pain. Those peers you have to work with....their 'what goes around WILL come back to get them. Keep your chin up and find me.

i very much feel your anguish and frustration.

and i'm sorry.

ignorance resides everywhere, as you are finding out.

but zoey is 100% correct.

self-worth starts from within.

anyone who is disabled, needs to take their own journey back to recovery.

they need to recognize their abilities as well as their limitations.

but whether one is disabled or not, one's worth is truly defined by loving and respecting yourself.

you cannot let others dictate your worthlessness.

a person who truly loves themself, will go forward and reach for 'their' stars:

knowing that it only takes one sensitive individual to see their light.

a person who allows themself to be defined by others belittlings, is one who will indeed, throw it all in and give up.

i DO understand the struggles of trying to market yourself to the masses.

and it can be a cruel and ignorant world.

the only way to survive and persist, is to truly love yourself.

and that has to start with you.

wishing you peace,

leslie

the princess · Sep 7, 2007

thank you all so, so much for all these feedbacks!!!!...i really love myself now, and started thinking positively...i tell you, i was as positive as you, my colleagues, before that accident, and when i was recovering...yes, i'll restart thinking positive again...and i'll do my best to do well at work..i just hope they'll be more accomodating and supportive this time... I NEED THE BREAK!!!! and i tell you, they won't regret hiring me....thank you so much, my colleagues!!!! GOD bless you all....

redhotzzz · Sep 10, 2007

I ABSOLUTELY love who I am, but just found out last week, after my 36th job interview that was NOT for the ER that I have been in for 37yrs, that I have been tossed in the circular files by these nurse managers because they can't figure out why, all of a sudden, I want to make a career specialty change! I actually had one call me on the phone ONLY because she knew me from an ER when she was the unit secty and I was urging her to keep on going to get her RN!!! She asked me point blank IF or WHAT had happened that would make me want to change to a smaller unit and when I told her (which really I am not OBLIGATED TO UNDER THE LAW) that I had fallen and broken my leg and forearm and had titanium plates and bone grafts in BOTH and no rotator cuff left in my right shoulder....she said, "Oh my God! I will pass your resume on to my Manager right NOW and you will hear from here next week!" IF that had not been a former peer of mine, my resume would have gone to the circular file like all the others have, as you can't tell me that with the nursing shortage as bad as it is, it would take me 36+ interviews to return to work, no matter what different specialty I was wanting. With that much ER experience I can certainly handle Urgent Care or a MDs office and it really isn't anyone's business "that you will be bored here after being an ER RN so long"....I should be able to change specialties whenever I want to....and not be interrogated by ANYONE! I can still work, I just can't do the heavy lifting and pulling and pushing any more....it's ruined everything I have over time.

Sabby_NC · Sep 10, 2007

thank you all so, so much for all these feedbacks!!!!...i really love myself now, and started thinking positively...i tell you, i was as positive as you, my colleagues, before that accident, and when i was recovering...yes, i'll restart thinking positive again...and i'll do my best to do well at work..i just hope they'll be more accomodating and supportive this time... I NEED THE BREAK!!!! and i tell you, they won't regret hiring me....thank you so much, my colleagues!!!! GOD bless you all....

Hang in there Princess. How are you doing today then eh? :)

So sorry all this has happened to you but I firmly believe things happen to us for a reason. Grow stronger and learn from this. You are a survivor ok?

Liddle Noodnik · Sep 10, 2007

I ABSOLUTELY love who I am, but just found out last week, after my 36th job interview that was NOT for the ER that I have been in for 37yrs, that I have been tossed in the circular files by these nurse managers because they can't figure out why, all of a sudden, I want to make a career specialty change! I actually had one call me on the phone ONLY because she knew me from an ER when she was the unit secty and I was urging her to keep on going to get her RN!!! She asked me point blank IF or WHAT had happened that would make me want to change to a smaller unit and when I told her (which really I am not OBLIGATED TO UNDER THE LAW) that I had fallen and broken my leg and forearm and had titanium plates and bone grafts in BOTH and no rotator cuff left in my right shoulder....she said, "Oh my God! I will pass your resume on to my Manager right NOW and you will hear from here next week!" IF that had not been a former peer of mine, my resume would have gone to the circular file like all the others have, as you can't tell me that with the nursing shortage as bad as it is, it would take me 36+ interviews to return to work, no matter what different specialty I was wanting. With that much ER experience I can certainly handle Urgent Care or a MDs office and it really isn't anyone's business "that you will be bored here after being an ER RN so long"....I should be able to change specialties whenever I want to....and not be interrogated by ANYONE! I can still work, I just can't do the heavy lifting and pulling and pushing any more....it's ruined everything I have over time.

I hope this works out well for you!