i had a motor vehicle accident a year and a half ago, used up my short term disability, went to long term disability....when i got cleared by my docs, i was hired but in a different facility...my director and preceptor knew what i've been through...i never felt welcome in the new work place...nobody talked to me to make me feel welcome, except the director, sometimes, and my preceptor...i made a (just a, one time) booboo, not life threatening, though, and was immediately corrected by me...while at the not critical zones, was given 30 mins. to assess and carry out docs orders and take pt. to hallway...now they're saying i'm not safe to work there...was sent to occupational health and neuropsychological testing...was told by psychologist need gradual reintroduction to the work place...i need feedbacks please...my self-esteem and morale is so low after these incidents....:uhoh21:
Having been forced to retire with disability I know that theres some truth in making my own self esteem but my entire life my greatest joy and accomplishment and satisfaction has been in nursing. I had to form a new id for myself and accept me without my uniform. Its been hard but I have done it by finding outlets for my nursing needs. Some of us need to be nurses and to others its a job...
Guys...I am here with you. I am embarrassed for the woman who told you it is up to you to get yourself back on track...and like it's somehow your fault. Believe me, from the depths of depression and horror....that is the last thing you should tell someone.
The nursing world (particularly in the hospital) is full of cynical people who think they know it all and are self righteous. When you do one little thing wrong, they're all over you.
I say, you guys in clinical, who think it's your job to label someone who has been off for whatever reason = you should be ashamed of yourselves!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You don't have all the answers.
Specializes in Alzheimer's, Geriatrics, Chem. Dep..
I am embarrassed for the woman who told you it is up to you to get yourself back on track...and like it's somehow your fault. Believe me, from the depths of depression and horror....that is the last thing you should tell someone.
Are you referring to what I said? I'm not sure - but my entire point is - anyone can KICK you down - but can anyone KEEP you down?
If you saw the size of my medical file and employment hx - you would know that i totally empathize.
And, if you weren't referring to my comments, as Emily Latella used to say, "Never mind ..." :)
Specializes in icu, er, transplant, case management, ps.
I guess I should clarify, Woody, it was kind of a generalization that might have put her down, I am sorry. I'm not some Pollyanna who has not experienced reality
..............
[A question, how long have you been disabled? Next year, in November, I will have been disabled for twenty years. One of the few times I have been told I could return to work and that I am stealing from someone's hard earned money, is on another message board back in 1999. And it was by a few of my so called peers. One's value, in todays society, is identified by one's ability to work. I went thru a very severe, long lasting clinical depression, because I couldn't accept that my working days were over. It wasn't my self esteem that was affected, it was my identification of myself. And there is a big difference. I've accepted my disabilities, my change of income, even the change in my standard of living. One goes thru cycles. And that is all I am saying.
Specializes in Alzheimer's, Geriatrics, Chem. Dep..
One's value, in todays society, is identified by one's ability to work. I went thru a very severe, long lasting clinical depression, because I couldn't accept that my working days were over. It wasn't my self esteem that was affected, it was my identification of myself. And there is a big difference. I've accepted my disabilities, my change of income, even the change in my standard of living. One goes thru cycles. And that is all I am saying.
Woody:balloons:
I keep falling, and getting back up. Hard to answer straightly. I tried one time to get social security but wasn't awarded (1990). This time I did get it (had a few more hospitalizations, more sporadic work history, etc).
Before that, I would go 2 yrs unable to work, 1 yr, 1 1/2 yrs, etc., or even not working every other month, etc. etc., in other words, chronic problems. Thank God for agency work because at least I could take those long periods of time off when necessary.
So, this time, after going from FT nursing to not being able to do anything for 3 yrs, I started doing 20 hrs a week as a cashier. I recently upped them to 29. Whoo hoo. lol
I have had severe depression/bipolar and sometimes functioning and sometimes not. Usually, sub par functioning. When my illness would affect my nursing judgement and abilities, I would stop for as long as it took to get them back. So far, this time, I haven't been able to get it back. I call it "chemical ECT" - some short in the wiring due to the illness or meds. It's not the usual fogginess of depression or crawling back out of it, there is definitely "something" missing. Not sure if I will get it back!!! But, the future is not any of my business. Tomorrow, God willing, I will wake up and go to work.
Anyway - moot point. I don't want to invalidate your experience. I CAN say that the quote of yours I paraphrased above, word for word, describes my own experience.
:uhoh21:
merry22
4 Posts
Having been forced to retire with disability I know that theres some truth in making my own self esteem but my entire life my greatest joy and accomplishment and satisfaction has been in nursing. I had to form a new id for myself and accept me without my uniform. Its been hard but I have done it by finding outlets for my nursing needs. Some of us need to be nurses and to others its a job...