Is this realistic?

stefanyjoy · Nov 18, 2010

Absolutely realistic! The most important thing is to have a solid support system. If you mom seems willing to help you, definitely do it! You will find a way to get it all done as long as you STAY MOTIVATED. Keep visualizing yourself with that RN after your name! I wish I had moved in with my mom when I had my baby so I could go back to school. I was so stuck in the fact that I didn't want to live at home, I missed a good opportunity to go to school full time. She moved away to California last year and now I am in school full-time, working full-time and paying $800 a month for daycare for my 5 year-old. Bleh! It sucks, but I didn't make the best decisions (in fact, I made all horrible decisions) in my late teens/early twenties and now I'm paying for it. That's ok, because one day I will be stefanyjoy, RN :) :) :)

GO FOR IT!!!!! :up:

Saysfaa · Nov 18, 2010

"I want to be able to focus on school, work, staying fit, socializing and most importantly my son. I want to have him involved in sports, music etc and I want to be there for every event/school meeting etc"

No, not realistic. Perhaps possible, at a stretch, if everything fits together perfectly, like you have a job that keeps you fit and you can study while doing it, your idea of socializing is pretty unusual, you have no commute, your mom is willing to do the grocery shopping, cooking, and cleaning.

These two together ("be there for every event/school meeting etc" and [nursing] "school") are not realistic even without any of the others.

Most people can manage nursing school and a part time job and perhaps some very limited socializing, really dedicated people can manage nursing school and a full time job (haven't heard of any that did that and much if any socializing).

Some have done full time school and full time work, AND family and insist none of the three were shorted. I don't believe them.

moma8gma1 · Nov 18, 2010

I LOVE your plan! :) As long as your mom is willing, moving in with her is a great idea! It is the best possible thing for your son, and there are more and more families sharing living space right now so that is not at all unusual.

Go for it! It sounds like you've done a lot of growing up and are ready to get up and at 'em. More power to you!!! :):anpom:

mangopeach · Nov 18, 2010

The only thing I would caution you about is the idea of retaining a social life. You must do something to unwind, so I am not telling you not to have a social life, but how active is it gonna be? I would not expect to have much of a social life. When my son was much younger, he's now in college himself, I worked full time while working on my first degree. So absolutely you can be a student and working mother. HOWEVER, I caution you to think that you can be superwoman. Sometimes, you will have to sacrifice some things. My social life, I readily gave up in pursuit of my dreams at the time. With school, being a single parent and work, I just did not have the time for an active social life, and quite frankly did not want one!!!! When I had a little free time, which was far and few in between, the last thing I wanted to do was hang out with friends, especially at some noisy place. Catching up on sleep or just sitting quietly reading, or taking a long bath became things I looked forward to.

Moving in with your mom sounds like a good idea. She can be there for your son when you cant, and I hate to say it, but sometimes as a single parent, a working one going to nursing school at that, being there may not always be an option. But your son will grow to understand and appreciate the sacrifices you make.

Good luck!

BelleNscrubs04 · Nov 19, 2010

ehhh...mostly. I think you can certainly do all those things but only by making some compromises and keeping your expectations realistic. I'm a mom too. I'm going to school in the prenursing program right now. I go to school full time, and juggle all my other responsibilities it's hard but doable. I will say I don't work but I think it kind of evens out because my husband works 60+ hours a week and we don't have any family near to help us at all. He works more and I don't have as much help with chores and childcare. My oldest son is very actively involved in activities. I am trying to be healthier and take better care of myself by eating right and exercising. I am also committed to having some kind of social life. That being said, I make compromises everyday and make it work only with the cooperation and coordination with my husband (if your mom is willing and able to do that perfect!). We swap off back and forth when he's not at work. He'll take/pick up our son from swim practice while I stay home and study and/or cook dinner. I don't think there is anyway you can avoid missing some of your son's activities but you should be able to prioritize and make most of the important ones. I structured my social life by committing to going to a book club meeting once a month and a moms night out monthly. I've found a great mother's group in my town that organizes all kinds of events. I've gotten so good at multitasking that I often even multi-task my social life : ) I walk once a week with a group of women so I'm exercising and socializing. I try to form study groups so I can study and socialize at the same time. With determination and organization you can do it. Just don't expect it go smoothly, it usually doesn't. Good Luck!

Here are my tips:

Multitask, multitask, multitask

get organized

Stay focused

Take your books everywhere!

Download videos or lectures to listen to in the car and while working out (forget tv and radio, they no longer exist in your life b/c they are a distraction from valuable study time)

Get your family on board, as much as possible. Keep explaining to them, what it's like, how they can help

Buy Noise cancelling headphones! This way you can study almost anywhere without too many distractions.

Crock-pots and Grocery store Rotisserie Chicken's and bagged Salads are lifesavers, as easy as fast-food and lots better for you. Stir Fry, and Tilapia with Couscous are also super fast/easy to cook.

Guard your time like it is precious gems. Don't let anyone waste it, especially yourself : )

stefanyjoy · Nov 19, 2010

Just to give you an idea of what my life is like (full time school/full time work/mom):

Mondays - Wake up at 6, get showered, dressed, etc. Get my daughter up and help her get ready for daycare (husband drives her to and picks her up from daycare). Algebra from 8am-9:15am, work from 9:30am-5:30pm (no time for lunch break this semester, eat at my desk) - Computer class from 6pm-8pm (usually ends earlier -- and this was a minimester class, I finished the course in 8 wks). Get home; short family time, sleep.

Tuesday - Wake up at 6, jog ~3 miles. Take shower, get daughter up and dressed, take her to school (husband picks her up), work from 9am-5pm. Chemistry at 5:45pm-7pm, and Lab from 7:05-8:30ish. Get home, bedtime routine with family, watch tv, sleep.

Wednesday - Same as Monday, only with no computer class after work. AM Algebra and Work; get home a little before 6, do some homework/study (I try to find ways that my husband and daughter help me study also, my husband helps me with flash cards, and my 5 y/o reads element symbols off the periodic table and I tell her what it is, etc) spend time with fam.

Thursday - Same as Tuesday, only no lab after Chemistry. Go home at 7, homework/study, family, sleep.

Friday - Same as Wednesday except class extended to 9:40am, work from 10am-6pm. Online Psych class homework done Friday evenings. Spend time with family, etc. Work out 30 mins to Jillian Michaels DVD.

Saturday - sleep in, spend time with family, jog & do strength training (either DVD or go to the gym). Complete online psych exam every other week. Study for any upcoming tests.

Sunday - Spend time with family, work out DVD, study for any upcoming tests.

Is this schedule easy? No. For the first couple weeks, I felt like I was going to pull my hair out. But after a while it became my routine, and I don't find it difficult anymore. I do sprinkle in time with my friends on weekend nights here and there, there isn't a ton of "socializing" but it is enough to keep me sane. I keep fit and have good grades, and I still feel like I have plenty of time with my family during the week. I just wanted to give you an idea of how it is "possible". I realize you may not have a significant other than can pick up the slack as far as child care and driving your son around, but thats why it's important to form a really good support system. If your mom is willing to help you, awesome!

Basically, if you are ready & willing, it is totally possible.

SwampCat, BSN · Nov 19, 2010

I have to mostly side with Saysfaa. You say you want to work, go to school and put your son first, something is gonna give. You can't have three top priorities unless you plan on using your mom as your surrogate. I'm fortunate to not have to work so I am home with my kids and I take night classes. Even so, I missed out on the school's open house because I had an exam. I'm going to miss a few of my daughter's girl scouts activities next semester. If they were doing soccer this season I would have missed every practice. Next semester I have a Saturday AM class so I'll miss every soccer game if they play. I am one person and can only be in one place at one time. Would I add a full time job on top of this and still be sane? Heck no! I've only taken prereqs so far and I find them fairly easy.... do I anticipate it to be as easy in nursing school? Nope, not one bit! I'm also very fortunate to have an incredibly helpful and supportive husband. When I'm not there, he is.

Something will have to be short-changed if you want to work, go to school, and be there for your kid.

Remember though, you'll work for 40+ yrs, you can choose to go to school whenever, but your kids will only be kids for a very very short while.

And socializing?! Pffft. What's that? Unless it's a playdate for one of my kids or I'm hanging out at one my my kids' activities, I never hang out with anyone outside of the family.

Humanatarian123 · Nov 19, 2010

Thank you so much everyone for your tips and comments! This motivated me even more to keep aiming for success. My mother is the best and she's willing to help me out big time; she even told me not to work but to focus on school but b/c of my custody battle, I NEED income for an attorney. I'm going to find a balance that is realistic and does not deprive my son from having his mommy around. Thanks again everyone, I really appreciate it! Finde me on [email protected]. :) xo