Is there nursing after 50?

Nurses General Nursing

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Does being 50+ mean I have to quit nursing and go into poverty for the rest of my life or am I supossed to kill myself?

time left means " time to get out of this situation before I end up in it for good"

"the victim keeps getting victimized"

this is what happens when you try to talk to some one about what is going on.

this is why they (being the perpatrators) can get away with it

people in general would rather blame the victim than to believe that it is actually happening

this is why any type of abuse is allowed to continue

it is much easier to blame the victim then to admit that we don't have an answer or that we can't help, especially as nurses, we want to help and we try but when it is so far beyond us instead of just admitting that we can't help we end up blaming the victim

I am neither crazy or stupid just the victim of a string of circumstances that were not of my doing.

I again apologize if I apeared ungracious and I hope you will look at yourself

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time left means " time to get out of this situation before I end up in it for good"

But, what are you doing to get yourself OUT of it? You have not followed up on a single suggestion anyone has made!!! You seem to have unrealistic expectations--if you cannot work as an RN, well, then, you apparently don't want to work, PERIOD.

How do you propose to pay the bills in the meantime? I think you need to face the fact that chances are very good you will not work as an RN ever again, at least not in long term care. Accept that, and move on. If you thought you were qualified, you'd be investigating some of the suggestions we've made--dialysis, school, travel, agency, home health, methadone clinic. There are TONS of travel nursing jobs---I get unsolicited calls and emails about them every single day! You don't need a car to take a travel assignment--they PAY for your travel and housing, and, as I told you before, some even supply a rental car. The will even pay for you to get a license in another state. You already told us that you have a compact license that allows you to work IMMEDIATELY in any one of 10 states.

However, I am sure you will have a "Yes, but..." as to why you can't do that, as well.

Apparently you don't think you have the skills, and apparently you don't want to make any effort to get the skills--or perhaps you know, deep down that no matter what you do, Registered Nursing is not the right "fit" for you.

Maybe you've done it for 11 years, but it sounds like you've always been in some sort of trouble (or right on the edge) and been at the point of losing your license before--am I right? Will you be honest about this, or will you just continue to make excuses and insist that in all those jobs (and why so MANY jobs?) you were "railroaded?"

That said, sitting on a nursing BB lamenting that fact--that is, the fact that you may never work in nursing again-- and blaming everyone but yourself is not going to get the bills paid. I would be looking at the Sunday paper and circling ads for whatever job could put food on my table, and calling those places and setting up interviews first thing Tuesday morning (this being a holiday weekend.)

Your daughter needs to be doing the same thing.

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Specializes in Pediatrics.
miranda's story and her suggestions to you were so empathetic; so insightful---and i did not hear her saying anything was "your fault--" what i heard her saying is that people--most people--probably all people--have unfinished business, perhaps from childhood, that can surface suddenly as adults and, if not worked through, can impede their relationships with other people and, indeed, their very progression through life.

she even told you she found herself caring for you and wished she could be there to make you some hot cocoa and let you talk.

we have given you a sounding board and many, many suggestions, but you seem unwilling to follow up on even one of them--if you did, you would not be able to be the victim anymore.

some people live in a constant mode of drama and crisis, largely of their own doing. when those people vent about their continuum of drama and crisis, their listeners try to help them work through a productive solution--only to hear a series of "yes, buts" and "it's not my fault." they are always the victims. everybody is out to get them.it seems to me that you like playing the victim and perpetuating a "poor pitiful me" mode. my goodness, what is it you'd like someone here to do--tell you, yes, it sounds like your life is just one big piece of s*** and you might as well go throw yourself off a bridge?

i think you really need to get off your a** and do something--anything--to improve your situation. you don't have a car? use the bus. if you are unemployed, apply for public assistance to tide you over, and go to the unemployment office or library, use their free resources, and find a job or get job retraining.

you've already said that nobody wants to hire you as a nurse. well, then, unfortunately you just might not be able to work as a nurse. the bills still need to be paid--what are you going to do, just let day by day pass while you lament the fact that no one wants to hire you? move on!!! do something else to keep a roof over your head, food on the table and the utilities on.

i, too, think there is a lot more to your story than you have shared with us.

i am also alarmed that you sound, in addition to being depressed, more than a little paranoid. not only are you a victim, but the local hospital apparently tried to kill both your daughter and your granddaughter, to hear you tell it. we have all suggested that you get yourself to a doctor--perhaps the county mental health clinic--and get some help!!!! why have you not done this?

somebody is using your nursing license? how is that even possible? did you lose it, or loan it out, or share the number with someone, or what? did you let yur state board know, so that they can alert hospitals, etc. that this license is being used by someone not authorized to use it? in any hospital in which i have ever worked, every employee has to wear a picture id. if you have heard that someone is using your name and practicing nursing using your license, that person should be easy enough to run down--she has a picture id with your name on it!!

is she also using your social security number? if not, how is she getting paid for nursing services rendered?

this is getting really weird. in fact, it's getting bizarre. i am actually starting to wonder if we are being "had" here.

stevie, i am in agreement with everything you have said. i have been following this thread, along with others by the op. no offense, malt, but there's no point in talking to you. you don't want to listen. you say you want advice, but you don't want to make the effort to change. we all want our lives to get better. what would you like, a check for $1 million? will that make it better? because apparently nothing else will. sure, it's much easier to complain about everything that is wrong. i noticed one of the posters tried to get you to share some good points in your life (ie your grandchildre), and you managed to spin that into a negative thing as well.

your original question on this thread was "is there life after 50 in nursing?", and it seems you didn't like the answers. not many people caught on to the "or should i just kill myself' line in the original post. you know i did, as i pm'd to you. or they chose to avoid it, and attempted to give you advice, which was fine too. some people cannot deal with depression. i'm not so great at it either, having been there myself, i know it's not something you can snap out of. but you can't just wallow in pity, either. (again, i'm not suggesting you shouldn't be angry at your situation)

numerous 'supporters' on this bb have given you many suggestions, ways in which to improve yourself, and get back on your feet. if you are truly clinically depressed, then you need to get help!!! no one can drag you buy the coattails and make you get help (i certainly can't nor can anyone on this bb). there is nothing to be ashamed of if you are truly depressed. and if you value your life, change it.

if you really do want advice, you need to stop telling us that there is more to your situation (that you cannot share on an open forum). that's more than obvious!!! i'm not saying you have nothing to be depressed, stressed, anxious, or angry about. but life is hard!! no one has it easy. as nurses, we all know this too well. we deal with people at their absolute worst, both physically and mentally. i could tell you my whole life story, but i'm sure you'll just belittle me, and try to 'top' it. but when i think about all i have experienced, i think about my job, and how many children i have seen die of cancer. it makes me realize that things can always be worse.

i do not take my life for granted. some things (like certain illnesses) are out of one's control. other things are not.

to everyone else who has posted advice, maybe you should stop. she's not listening.

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Specializes in Pediatrics.

i am neither crazy or stupid just the victim of a string of circumstances that were not of my doing.

i again apologize if i apeared ungracious and i hope you will look at yourself

it is not politically correct to say 'crazy'. and no one is sugeesting you are crazy, but you obviously need help. would you rather get it before, or after you attempt to kill yourself, and suffer long term damage to yourself? do you feel like having more surgery after you jump off that cliff and don't die?

by the way, in case you haven't figured it out, if there are no other places for you to work as a nurse in your small town, and you don't have transportation, then you need to get out of your town, or, as stevie suggested, look for something in another field. no butts, because that's what it is (according to you!)

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But, what are you doing to get yourself OUT of it? You have not followed up on a single suggestion anyone has made!!! You seem to have unrealistic expectations--if you cannot work as an RN, well, then, you apparently don't want to work, PERIOD.

How do you propose to pay the bills in the meantime? I think you need to face the fact that chances are very good you will not work as an RN ever again, at least not in long term care. Accept that, and move on. If you thought you were qualified, you'd be investigating some of the suggestions we've made--dialysis, school, travel, agency, home health, methadone clinic. There are TONS of travel nursing jobs---I get unsolicited calls and emails about them every single day! You don't need a car to take a travel assignment--they PAY for your travel and housing, and, as I told you before, some even supply a rental car. The will even pay for you to get a license in another state. You already told us that you have a compact license that allows you to work IMMEDIATELY in any one of 10 states.

However, I am sure you will have a "Yes, but..." as to why you can't do that, as well.

Apparently you don't think you have the skills, and apparently you don't want to make any effort to get the skills--or perhaps you know, deep down that no matter what you do, Registered Nursing is not the right "fit" for you.

Maybe you've done it for 11 years, but it sounds like you've always been in some sort of trouble (or right on the edge) and been at the point of losing your license before--am I right? Will you be honest about this, or will you just continue to make excuses and insist that in all those jobs (and why so MANY jobs?) you were "railroaded?"

That said, sitting on a nursing BB lamenting that fact--that is, the fact that you may never work in nursing again-- and blaming everyone but yourself is not going to get the bills paid. I would be looking at the Sunday paper and circling ads for whatever job could put food on my table, and calling those places and setting up interviews first thing Tuesday morning (this being a holiday weekend.)

Your daughter needs to be doing the same thing.

I didn't want to put this on here but my situation can't get any worse and I am sure that some people would still find fault with me any way. when I spoke of that accident I had many years ago it was a contributing fact in my present situation. DVR (department of rehabilitation) sent me to school for LPN back when I was 25. I worked in LTC for 14 years then got my RN and yes I do have limitations, there are things and jobs that I just can't physically do. because the arthritis set in early and I had a stiff knee I had a TKR in 1990 relieved the knee joint pain but caused much more pain such as nerve pain from nerves being stretched after 14 years of being straight, gained 35 degree flexion in this knee, where I am going with this is that without a car walking outside causes such severe pain that I literally can't walk after a short distance, I do not have this problem walking in doors on flat surfaces only when I walk on graded surfaces. I have checked into DVR for help and all they will do is put me on a waiting list. hitting 50 seems to be a harder than usual time trying to get employment as I am sure they are well aware of my physical limitations to begin with. I have had to deal with many a nurses narrow minded views regarding these limitations. as a nurse I know which areas I would not be able to do. I might be able to make it to the corner but there are no buses there when I get there.
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sorry I disagree with the notion that RN is not the right fit for me. Unless you are telling me because I have a disability that I can't do this or are you telling me that the profession is that shallow and RN's are really nothing more than a bunch of egotistical B_ _ _ _ _ _ _. I have repeatedly defended RN's because there are a great number of people that look down on this particular group of professionals. I did this as an LPN and not just because I am one. Maybe just the title is why people are looking down on me? just some food for thought.

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Specializes in ER, ICU, L&D, OR.
sorry I disagree with the notion that RN is not the right fit for me. Unless you are telling me because I have a disability that I can't do this or are you telling me that the profession is that shallow and RN's are really nothing more than a bunch of egotistical B_ _ _ _ _ _ _. I have repeatedly defended RN's because there are a great number of people that look down on this particular group of professionals. I did this as an LPN and not just because I am one. Maybe just the title is why people are looking down on me? just some food for thought.

I dont see it as a disability as much as I see a defeatist attitude

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stevie

every agency that I have called wants 1-2 years recent hospital experience and I don't have it. I have never had my license in jepordy before. I am in a different state. I have been on multiple interviews, in fact I have one on Monday. I was hoping that that hearing I went to would have given me something to show that I wasn't fired for good cause, no decision has been made yet. By the way how do you know if I had "so many jobs" I never mentioned how many jobs I have had. are you advising people not to talk to me because you are some how involved in what I am going through or are you just looking to make yourself look all important?

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I dont see it as a disability as much as I see a defeatist attitude

the disability is in the fact that my legs do not bend period. has it gotten worse from the wear and tear of 24 years in nursing? yes. Do I want to give up nursing? no. Do I have a lot to offer? yes! Do I have the means to find a company that would appreciate what I have to offer instead of using me as a quota filler? don't know.

Had an interview where the DON told me that she already had one of those as she pointed to a guy walking by that was obviously handycapped. Is this a preconcieved notion before she even interviewed me? absolutely.

Do I want to give in to this discrimination by taking a job beneath me? absolutely not. Do I deserve to be an RN? absolutely. Do I have the skills and knowledge to be an RN? absolutely. Is there much more to this story? absolutely.

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Specializes in Pediatrics.
had an interview where the don told me that she already had one of those as she pointed to a guy walking by that was obviously handycapped. is this a preconcieved notion before she even interviewed me? absolutely.
and your response was.... and your attorney's response was...

is there much more to this story? absolutely.
but i guess we'll never hear it, will we???
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Specializes in Vents, Telemetry, Home Care, Home infusion.

After reading the last several pages of posts, locing this thread for 24 hour period of reflection.

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Specializes in ICU/CCU (PCCN); Heme/Onc/BMT.

after moderator/administrative staff review and discussion, this thread is being returned to the forum for public view. as those who have been following this thread know, the op of this thread shared his physical and emotional pain and wrote about ideas suggesting suicide. please know that the op has been contacted by the administrative team and provided a resource list regarding depression and suicide counseling. hopefully the op will seek appropriate and immediate help for his expressed emotional pain.

two other things.

first, this thread will remain closed. it truly is beyond this bulletin board's resources to assist this member and other people who seem to express suicidal ideation.

secondly, as a gentle reminder, please use the site feedback forum or contact the administrative team regarding bulletin board issues. also, if in the future a member begins to share intense emotional pain with thoughts of suicide, please do not hesitate to contact any staff member regarding your concerns. we will do the best we can to assess the situation and provide appropriate information for that member to seek appropriate support and counsel.

your concerns for the op are noted, respected and mutually shared by the staff here.

respectfully,

the moderator/adminsitrative team of allnurses.com

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