Is my (50K) BSN worthless?

[boxofrain]

Long, sad story. I graduated from BSN program as a second-career nurse in December, 2017. Passed NCLEX in 75 questions in Feb. of 2018; secured first job in ICU at a Level I trauma unit in a residency program summer 2018. Was asked to leave program after 2.5 months on that job, with management saying that ICU is too difficult for a new grad nurse. Took psych job at small, poorly run standalone facility and worked 50+ hours/week, was assaulted, had 20+ patients at times. Was offered and accepted dream job at a highly reputable rehab hospital in the specialty I've always wanted. Did not make it through orientation here either. Manager and one of the preceptors stated that maybe I'm just not cut out for floor nursing.

I came into this job with almost no bedside experience. I arrived for 6:30 a.m. shift at 6:00 a.m. every day. I lived, ate and breathed this job, spending all non-working time reading about disease pathophysiology, watching YouTube videos on suctioning and IVs (just to name two, there are many skills with which I had no experience) designing shift report form and tightening up med pass procedure. For many of these, I actually acted out the processes just to get some muscle memory. All to no avail. One preceptor remarked that I was "passionate" and "the most hard-working person I ever met," but, something just wasn't "clicking" and I wasn't "making connections." She also said that she loved my inquisitive nature, hinting maybe I should try research.

Here's my question. Are there really some people who just can't do bedside nursing? I don't want to appear as bitter arrogant, but, come on, this isn't rocket science. This most recent dismissal happened a week ago and I'm working hard to gain some perspective and insight. I would definitely look to other areas of nursing, but it seems most want at least 1-3 years bedside experience. Where do I go if I can't manage that?

Any guidance would be much appreciated.

[Wuzzie]

On 11/6/2019 at 5:43 AM, boxofrain said:

Yes, I've found that the nurses I've worked with have not been particularly kind. In fact, they've been pretty nasty at times. They're also very stressed and anxious. I think that's the key to the whole "nurses eating their young" atmosphere. Everyone is feeling overwhelmed with having to do more with less and everyone is concerned with keeping their own jobs. It's not a very healthy environment for anyone.

This is a very, very smart observation and one all of you who constantly promote the idea that "nurses eat their young" should pay heed to. The truth is nurses (at least most of them) don't eat their young but put any human in a situation where the demands are astronomical and they have all of the responsibility but none of the power or authority to affect change and you will create a dog-eat-dog environment even with the nicest people in the world. I firmly believe that unrecognized burn-out is the cause for most incivility we experience in the workplace. Many of the signs of burn-out are so ill-defined as to frequently be mistaken for just having a bad attitude when the truth of the matter is, internally, these people are emotionally decompensating. Before anyone jumps on me this does not in any way excuse those who are participating in true bullying behavior that repeatedly targets an individual and makes them fear for their job or their well-being.

Boxofrain, you may have hit a bump early in your career but with your insight I truly believe you will find your niche. I kind of hope you stick it out in acute care because I think you have a future in education or staff development.

[boxofrain]

3 hours ago, Wuzzie said:

This is a very, very smart observation and one all of you who constantly promote the idea that "nurses eat their young" should pay heed to. The truth is nurses (at least most of them) don't eat their young but put any human in a situation where the demands are astronomical and they have all of the responsibility but none of the power or authority to affect change and you will create a dog-eat-dog environment even with the nicest people in the world. I firmly believe that unrecognized burn-out is the cause for most incivility we experience in the workplace. Many of the signs of burn-out are so ill-defined as to frequently be mistaken for just having a bad attitude when the truth of the matter is, internally, these people are emotionally decompensating. Before anyone jumps on me this does not in any way excuse those who are participating in true bullying behavior that repeatedly targets an individual and makes them fear for their job or their well-being.

Boxofrain, you may have hit a bump early in your career but with your insight I truly believe you will find your niche. I kind of hope you stick it out in acute care because I think you have a future in education or staff development. 

Thanks! I'm focusing efforts on outpatient and research right now, but I'll see where the road takes me. With regard to the stress nurses endure, I'll say this. One of my last conversations with the nurses at my former facility was completely about our anxiety, insomnia and how we manage it. One takes 5HTP and 20 (yes, you read right) 20 mg of melatonin per night. The other one takes something else, can't remember what. Both of these women are young and both have more than two years' experience. Again, this is a rehab facility, not ICU or even acute care. Point being that the problem goes pretty deep into the culture and environment and will likely take time and ingenuity to fix.

[Wuzzie]

8 minutes ago, boxofrain said:

Point being that the problem goes pretty deep into the culture and environment and will likely take time and ingenuity to fix.

What you are going to find out is employers have no incentive to fix the environment. Nurses are seen as expendable which just adds to the problem. Even if we vote with our feet there are three nurses waiting to fill our spot. I was in a class not that long ago where they had a section on self-care for nurses (cue eye-roll). It was utter nonsense (seriously they talked about knitting...and I'm a knitter). I not too kindly pointed out that all we have to do is look on our individual BON sites to see how nurses are coping and it ain't pretty.

[JKL33]

4 hours ago, Wuzzie said:

This is a very, very smart observation and one all of you who constantly promote the idea that "nurses eat their young" should pay heed to. The truth is nurses (at least most of them) don't eat their young but put any human in a situation where the demands are astronomical and they have all of the responsibility but none of the power or authority to affect change and you will create a dog-eat-dog environment even with the nicest people in the world. I firmly believe that unrecognized burn-out is the cause for most incivility we experience in the workplace. Many of the signs of burn-out are so ill-defined as to frequently be mistaken for just having a bad attitude when the truth of the matter is, internally, these people are emotionally decompensating. Before anyone jumps on me this does not in any way excuse those who are participating in true bullying behavior that repeatedly targets an individual and makes them fear for their job or their well-being.

Excellent.

This is (almost) my exact opinion and observation as well. [Aside from my qualms about our (collective) use of the concept of burnout]. ?

I wish more people would really think about this.

[boxofrain]

28 minutes ago, Wuzzie said:

What you are going to find out is employers have no incentive to fix the environment. Nurses are seen as expendable which just adds to the problem. Even if we vote with our feet there are three nurses waiting to fill our spot. I was in a class not that long ago where they had a section on self-care for nurses (cue eye-roll). It was utter nonsense (seriously they talked about knitting...and I'm a knitter). I not too kindly pointed out that all we have to do is look on our individual BON sites to see how nurses are coping and it ain't pretty.

Okay, total tangent, but I laughed out loud at this. I hate the term "self-care." It sounds so touchy-feely (and almost a little bit Mediaographic.) Whenever someone asks me what I do for self-care, I'm tempted to say "heroin." Not appropriate for healthcare setting though, especially when I worked the detox unit.

[stockmanjr, BSN]

3 minutes ago, boxofrain said:

Okay, total tangent, but I laughed out loud at this. I hate the term "self-care." It sounds so touchy-feely (and almost a little bit Mediaographic.) Whenever someone asks me what I do for self-care, I'm tempted to say "heroin." Not appropriate for healthcare setting though, especially when I worked the detox unit.

So H&B for self care is not a good answer? ?

[travduck, BSN, RN, CNM]

Sounds like too many nurses I have seen and who have left nursing. May I suggest that you look at rural small hospital nursing for a while, you will usually not have the time constraints of large hospitals, also you will see things that you wont in large hospitals and sometimes these are not familiar to other staff either so you bond in learning together and expand your own and everyone elses knowledge. Out of the box nursing positions such as home health, hospice or palliative care, corrections, clinic work in field that appeals, external education, travel nursing with emphasis on smaller employers, admissions nurse, immigrant care, public health clinic, diocese care, clinical trials nurse, or other. It may necessitate travel or moving (short or long term) but may be well worth it.

Hang in and good luck - there is a place for you somewhere in nursing.