Is it me? Foolish mistakes, don't want the responsibility anymore

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I've been an RN for ten years, am 55 years old, and have worked in various types of jobs. I have always suffered from anxiety, depression, low self esteem. I have been a part time clinic float for one year, with a two month fmla a few months ago.

For some reason, I keep making stupid mistakes at work, have much difficulty concentrating, and cannot remember things. I am so afraid to go to work now. I am on a sort of 'probation' now, working along side another nurse. I am so afraid of not remembering how to do something or making a mistake that I feel as if it is a self-fulfilling prophecy. I need my health ins., but the anxiety is killing me. Just started counseling, but next appt it's 5 weeks away. I just want to quit now cuz I can't take the anxiety and depression, and stress anymore. Anyone out there with this problem?

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Specializes in Emergency Department.

"I am so afraid of ...... or making a mistake that I feel as if it is a self-fulfilling prophecy. I need my health ins., but the anxiety is killing me."

And the problem with the American Health Service in a nutshell.

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Specializes in medicine, oncology, telemetry.

You are NOT the only one. In the past year, I made a couple of silly minor mistakes that my management took very seriously. We sit down in the office while the three of them question my judgement and nursing practice. Now I'm constantly looking over my shoulder and question everything I'm doing! Granted, my institution holds us to such a ridiculously high standard, but management goes about it in a way that's punitive even though it's not supposed to be. My anxiety and depression regarding work is out of control and I sought counseling just like you.

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Specializes in Pediatrics, Emergency, Trauma.
I've been an RN for ten years, am 55 years old, and have worked in various types of jobs. I have always suffered from anxiety, depression, low self esteem. I have been a part time clinic float for one year, with a two month fmla a few months ago.

For some reason, I keep making stupid mistakes at work, have much difficulty concentrating, and cannot remember things. I am so afraid to go to work now. I am on a sort of 'probation' now, working along side another nurse. I am so afraid of not remembering how to do something or making a mistake that I feel as if it is a self-fulfilling prophecy. I need my health ins., but the anxiety is killing me. Just started counseling, but next appt it's 5 weeks away. I just want to quit now cuz I can't take the anxiety and depression, and stress anymore. Anyone out there with this problem?

I suggest you reach out to your counselor; even to at least talk on the phone.

I have done that many times when I felt I was going into crisis mode; at least talking to a professional helped my "crisis level" go down until I was able to get an appointment.

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I completely understand. You are not alone. I wonder if menopause causes the forgetfulness and lack of concentration?.....

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Thank you, UpennRN, for taking the time to respond. It is with me, as it sounds like it is with you, they're minor, minor things that other RN's, myself included, would simply and KINDLY show the person the correct way. We're human. That's how we learn. It has taken A LOT of self talk to get through this torture as I know I'm a good nurse, as I am sure you are. I guess some people love to spread their misery around. Very best of luck to you. I'll be rooting you on!

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I have wondered that myself, as I have not always felt this way.

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LOVE it!!!!!

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.....the comment about 'bring the bat'!

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Thank you, LadyFree28. I will do that. Family and friends cannot totally relate.

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Jaywalker, I have wondered that myself as I did not feel this way until about the past 5 years, and I've never taken hormones. Thank you.

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Specializes in LTC, assisted living, med-surg, psych.

Anxiety and depression were part of what cost me my career. Toward the end I found myself making mistakes, and when I had some near-misses on serious situations I took myself off the floor. I just couldn't in good conscience hold people's lives in my shaky hands any longer. I miss nursing, but I can't put myself (or anyone else) through that again. I could be an advice nurse, an anticoagulation clinic nurse, or do insurance reviews, but otherwise I'm finished as an RN.

I feel your pain and embarrassment at finding yourself in this predicament. I'm not saying you need to give up your career, because if your mental health issues are taken care of adequately, you may very well be able to continue. I have had excellent care, but my illness got away from me a few years ago and torpedoed my career by getting me fired twice and forced to resign once. It's hard to recover from that, and I'm 55 too so that makes things even more of a challenge. I'm not giving up, but my psychiatrist brought up the "D" (disability) word today and I'm having to look at that as an option.

Wishing you the very best. Please stay in touch with your mental health provider and don't be afraid to call in between appointments. Believe me, they'd rather deal with a problem before it gets out of hand, and after Robin Williams's death today I'm sure a lot of them will be urging their patients to "bother" them a lot more often. Take care.

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