Is fighting professional

StudentSarah · Mar 30, 2001

kjmta57,

You were reading my mind! The last while some of the nurses on here have been bickering and nit picking, over and over regarding misinterpretted comments, licensing, you name it!

I love coming here to hear inspirational and heartwarming stories from my own breed.

Sometimes when I see a commment that angers me on this board, I try to take a breather and think about what my angered reply would do. Will it benefit others?

If not, then I don't post it. Simple as that.

Q. · Mar 30, 2001

I think we really try to do our best to be professional. Some of us are, some of us aren't. At least this type of bickering is going on here in this BB and not in the patient's room (at least I hope not)

Keep in mind we are the single largest profession in America - the more people, the more opportunity for disagreements. Sort of like crime - naturally crime goes up as the population goes up.

What we should do is when a thread turns nasty, and nasty meaning personal attacks, we should let that thread die as quickly as possible and go on. Maybe that will help.

fergus51 · Mar 30, 2001

I think a lot of us need to lean how to debate instead of resorting to personal attacks. We need to learn it is possible to disagree but remain respectful.

MollyJ · Mar 31, 2001

Great posts from many concerned nurses AND I agree with you Fergus. You can disagree with the ideas without name calling, profanity or rudeness to the person. I tell many of the kids I work with that anger is just an emotion and it happens but you are always responsible for how your respond to your anger and what you do with it.

Charles S. Smith, RN, MS · Mar 31, 2001

Originally posted by MollyJ:
Great posts from many concerned nurses AND I agree with you Fergus. You can disagree with the ideas without name calling, profanity or rudeness to the person. I tell many of the kids I work with that anger is just an emotion and it happens but you are always responsible for how your respond to your anger and what you do with it.

Molly...you always come through! Fighting, name calling, vitriolics, nastiness are symptoms of greater ills. If the general public were to read many of these posts there would be some real fear generated about the persons taking care of them and their loved ones. It is rarely the written words to which i object, but more often it is the underlying real issue, lack of understanding or just plain ignorance. It is always acceptable to offer a genuine difference of opinion and a different perspective on an issue. After all, we are dealing with one person's particular and specific reality viewed from that person's internal lens. Have patience with them, ask better questions to get clarity, offer other insights and see how the chips fall. On this board and others, the anonymity of posters seems to give license for unfettered diatribes that may have been festering for a long time. I wonder how blatant and vitriolic would those posters appear in print if they were not anonymous? What we think we speak. What we speak becomes committed action. Our committed actions become our destinies....

Just some thoughts

chas

Mijourney · Apr 1, 2001

Hi. I also agree with fergus51. Nothing wrong with a "healthy" debate. I have a problem with this media show mentality approach that seems to want to strip others of what dignity they have. Charles, once again, you get my vote.

buckboomer, BSN, RN · Apr 3, 2001

I suggest you pick and choose what you want to read or believe. I support other opinions and ideas. Read Wildtime, or others that are worth reading. Take the blinders off, and realize the dilemma healthcare is in. Nurses are in the trenches or the front line of our miserable healthcare system. Passive aggressive, non confrontable individuals run rampant in this profession. Some feel this is the response, of the stress, that nursing is under. Compromise your values, to pick up a pay check. Is it any wonder, the mean spirited replies, are common place on the board? Think positive, remember the good stories, etc, etc. Forget about the miserable working conditions, and some of the mean spirited colleagues in this glamorous profession. Walk a mile in the bedside nurses's shoes, and smile. Cram 10 hours of work into 8 hours. Deal with guilt issues when you are unable to report to work, letting these same colleagues down, and they will be short staffed, or do mandatory overtime. Try not to become cynical, like others, including myself. Be empathetic, use therapeutic conversation, imagery, to convince yourself and others, of nursing, the noble profession. Care for sick, angry people, with verbally abusive families, and come to work smiling. There are some good moments in nursing, but NOT enough.

Brownms46 · Apr 3, 2001

Originally posted by buckboomer:
I suggest you pick and choose what you want to read or believe. I support other opinions and ideas. Read Wildtime, or others that are worth reading. Take the blinders off, and realize the dilemma healthcare is in. Nurses are in the trenches or the front line of our miserable healthcare system. Passive aggressive, non confrontable individuals run rampant in this profession. Some feel this is the response, of the stress, that nursing is under. Compromise your values, to pick up a pay check. Is it any wonder, the mean spirited replies, are common place on the board? Think positive, remember the good stories, etc, etc. Forget about the miserable working conditions, and some of the mean spirited colleagues in this glamorous profession. Walk a mile in the bedside nurses's shoes, and smile. Cram 10 hours of work into 8 hours. Deal with guilt issues when you are unable to report to work, letting these same colleagues down, and they will be short staffed, or do mandatory overtime. Try not to become cynical, like others, including myself. Be empathetic, use therapeutic conversation, imagery, to convince yourself and others, of nursing, the noble profession. Care for sick, angry people, with verbally abusive families, and come to work smiling. There are some good moments in nursing, but NOT enough.

I totally agree! Sometimes it may not even be the post, that causes someone to reply in a seemingly mean, or rude way. But the shift they just finished, or the continuing cycle of abuse they encounter day in, and day out. Some people feel they love the profession, but not how the profession is at the present. There was time, when I couldn't get enough of nursing. I would work double shifts for two weeks at a time, and never dreaded each shift I had to do. I just thought nothing of going to work, and doing what I was enjoying doing. But now, I wonder, how short will we be? How crazy will the shift be? Or who will I have to work with today?

There are those who are just mean because they're miserable in the environment they're in, and see no way out. Or who are just mean period, becaue they're miserable people no matter what! You never know where a person is coming from, or dealing with, who posts. So don't take it personal, as the response may probably have more to deal with that persons own personal demons, then what you wrote.

Brownie

Hardknox · Apr 3, 2001

You took the words right out of my mouth! 10 years ago I thought they'd have to carry me out of the hospital after my stroke..I loved my job so much and was so good at it that I'd never quit. Today, I can barely wait to retire. Short staffed, never enough time to do things the way I want, shortcuts (within safety bounds),patients who think they invented childbirth and have given birth to the Christ child.Precepting with an overload of patients, see one-do one-teach one-education, vacations and days off cancelled, no time to eat or pee, mandatory overtime...... No wonder these BB's get vicious. I don't condone it , but I think it's the only place some of us feel safe to vent and unfortunately some people take their frustrations out on others. (The kick the dog theory) Somethings got to give!

[This message has been edited by Hardknox (edited April 03, 2001).]