Interview help; confidence

I'm not really sure what went wrong; although I have my suspicions.

I had heard that if I go a job as a Nurse Tech while still in nursing school, it would increase my chances of getting into a Residency when I finished nursing school. So I applied and got a job in a Med-Surg dept. I've worked there for 9 months while in a full-time nursing program. It was really a lot to juggle in addition to my family obligations as well but I never came late or called out sick and I covered shifts for other people nearly every time it was requested of me.

Before nursing school, I had worked as a home care aide (taking care of just one patient at a time), but I had never worked as a nursing assistant prior to securing this job (where I took care of 11 patients each shift). I feel like I grew quite a bit in my ability to manage the care of multiple patients simultaneously, completing my tasks despite interruptions and making connections between what I was learning in school and what I was seeing manifesting in my patients. I am comfortable charting in the electronic medical record system now, can find most equipment, supplies and departments in the hospital and even moved to live closer to the hospital where I work.

I clearly recall that my performance review was unremarkable and I felt butterflies in my stomach each time my boss would verify, "You're graduating in March, right?" I was called off my duties last month, handed a slip of paper and told my boss wanted me to apply for 2 available RN positions just listed. Then my boss texted me to ask if I'd had a chance to submit my application(s) yet. She asked me when I would be at the hospital next so she could have me come into her office for an interview over my lunch break.

At the beginning of the interview, she instructed me to answer the questions for the RN position for which I was applying, not in the capacity of a nursing assistant/tech. She asked me what I felt my strengths and weaknesses were. I should have prepared an answer in advance.

I answered honestly that I would probably feel Confidence-in-myself as an area of weakness, just entering into the RN profession and all. My boss enthusiastically jumped on the bandwagon and told me, "Oh yes, that's what I hear everyone say about you: that you don't seem very confident. In fact, I've had some nurses come and tell me they don't feel comfortable delegating tasks out to you because you don't seem confident."

That hit me like a sucker punch to the gut. I was speechless. I couldn't imagine having exhibited such a lack of confidence working in the capacity of AN AIDE that nurses felt uncomfortable DELEGATING tasks to me! Aides deliver & collect trays, feed patients, reposition patients, change linens, incontinence pads and briefs and assist with toileting, bathe patients, provide peri & foley catheter care, ambulate patients, transport patients, take vital signs and answer call lights in general. Was I really so incompetent that nurses didn't feel comfortable delegating such menial tasks out to me as an aide?!? Such a revelation certainly did nothing to bolster my confidence in my ability to perform in an advanced capacity as an RN!

I know I was unfamiliar with the bladder scanner when I first started, and a kind nurse took the time to show me step-by-step how to care for a colostomy stoma and change the bag the first time I encountered one of those, but did that really make me incompetent? As a tech, I've sought out opportunities to complete "advanced tasks" such as bedside blood sugar/glucose checks, IV removal, inserting & removing foley catheters in both male & female patients, straight cath'ing and I've provided patient education when I can, re-teaching a dementia patient how to use his incentive spirometer and explaining to patients the pathophysiology when O2sats drop D/T their not wanting to wear the "uncomfortable" nasal cannula or they don't understand how not taking their antiHTN med or "water pill" is affecting their bodies. I jumped right in when we lost patients last month and did all the postmortem care. In the past couple months, I've had several nurse sincerely complement me and thank me for my above-and-beyond nursing assistance and patient care.

The interview with my boss was followed by an interview with the charge nurse and a floor nurse, which I felt went well. They praised me on my excellent answers and talked to me as if my being offered a job was expected. The charge nurse told me she would recommend a night shift position for me "because I know you" she had said.

But I walked away feeling bad. It seemed like the wrong venue for my boss to have brought up that a nurse (or nurses) had told her they didn't feel comfortable delegating tasks to me. That's a serious thing to say. Why didn't she immediately pull me aside and talk to me about the issue when it was brought to her attention? Why didn't she have a performance review with me so I could be made aware there was a problem and have the chance to improve? She just let me go about my work not saying anything to me until I applied for a promotion; a promotion that she had told me to apply for?!? Now I'm embarrassed and feel like people saying negative things about me behind my back that they wouldn't say to my face for me to grow from. I can receive constructive criticism, but it just caught me off guard to receive it in that manner, during a job interview.

Today I got an email that I didn't get the full time days RN residency position for which I'd applied. I don't feel confident applying for the night position in the same department until I talk with someone about what happened; what went wrong. I have applications still pending in other departments within the same hospital, but I can only imagine any hiring manager would ask my current supervisor how she feels about me, and if she wouldn't even hire me to keep working in her department, what good could she have to say about me?

I wonder if she weighed my performance against the fact that I'm still a full-time student and juggling a lot of responsibilities right now. I wonder if my kid was rude to her kid at school or something. I'm just up tonight, licking my wounds and wondering what just happened. Any advice going forward?

Should I apply for the night position or just move on? What do I say to my boss when I see her next? Is it appropriate to ask her what went wrong so I can improve? I want to be an employable nurse. I've been looking up articles how to boost my confidence in myself and plan on answering strength/weakness questions in the future with something more task-oriented than characteristic, such as, "My weakness has been jumping into tasks without remembering to have all of the supplies laid out on the counter, then I'll recall I need that last flush and will have to stretch back to the drawer to grab it." I don't know what's worse: maybe I should confess I work through my breaks to stay on top of my work