Indiscriminate Empathy?

[tothepointeLVN]

This is something that has bothered me since my very first day of nursing school. It's a situation that comes up over and over again. When ever a person who self identifies as a nurse disagrees with something in a non work context like the internet the go to offensive is to label that person as a horrible nurse because they don't empathize with each and every individual and situation on the planet. In other words empathy for all no matter what the situation.

So the question is why? You can still be disagreeable and a wonderful empathetic nurse to your patients and coworkers. Disagreeing is not a bad thing. Florence herself was very opinionated and "disagreeable."

So why is "I wouldn't want you as my nurse" the go to defense? (And yes I've used it too)

[That Guy, BSN, RN, EMT-B]

I rarely empathize with anyone. Makes it easier. Or harder. Or am I a bad nurse? What was the question again?

[tothepointeLVN, LVN]

I think people should be able to approach their work with what ever emotional mindset works for them as long as the patient care is not effective. Despite what people claim most of the time the patient can't tell the difference between professionally orientated care with a facade of empaty and a true empathy where the nurse is at one with the patient.

As long as the patient is cared for and feels cared for then how you go about it doesn't matter.

[dudette10, MSN, RN]

As long as the patient is cared for and feels cared for then how you go about it doesn't matter.

I agree with this, for another reason, too. The past couple nights I have had some very irritable patients. The kind that while you are in the middle of the act of trying to make them comfortable, it's just not quite right, and they take their frustration out on you.

One of my patients, in the middle of griping at me that I wasn't doing it right, kept repeating, "You don't know what it feels like to be helpless!" Ok, right there, that was her problem, and I was the easy target. She kept using certain words and phrases that indicated to me that she once worked in healthcare. I asked her if she was a nurse, and she said yes. That was my "in," so to speak, to get her to stop ******** at me constantly.

While I'm trying to reposition her and had to stick another IV, I just kept asking open-ended questions about her work as a nurse. She was a charge nurse and did a stint in management. Magically, she wasn't riding me anymore, and she didn't for the rest of the night, although she called on me for help more than a few times.

All this is to say that if you are able to make the patient feel cared for--however you do it and whatever your motivations are to start with--sometimes you just might end up caring about the patient too.

[jadelpn, LPN, EMT-B]

This is an interesting observation. Part of what makes one a successful nurse is the ability to critically think in a calm and professional manner in the patient's best interest. When one puts others' needs in front of their own, it would classically be defined as being empethetic. The twist to this is that it is within the realm of our occupation, not necessarily who one is as a person outside of their job. It is a balancing act for one to be an empethetic nurse if as a person, they are not so. With that being said, sometimes as a nurse one is "on" too long, and those frustrations can make some more negative when they don't need to be "on". And sometimes it is a defense mechanism, as when one sees and participates in difficult situations regarding someone's life and/or death, how one copes can be thought of as less than empathetic. And sometimes, people just don't have a filter. I would be more apt to say "I wouldn't want that person as my friend" as opposed to "I wouldn't want that person to be my nurse". Because when the shift is over, who one sees as the most empathetic nurse on the block can become a whole different person....

[tothepointeLVN, LVN]

One of my patients, in the middle of griping at me that I wasn't doing it right, kept repeating, "You don't know what it feels like to be helpless!" Ok, right there, that was her problem, and I was the easy target.

I was thinking about this post while on my walk today and I was thinking a lot of peoples fears about this or the healthcare reform issues is that they are afraid that they aren't going to be looked after; that they will be hurting and no one will help them. Its a basic human need I think to be reassure that they will be ok and that someone will be there.

I just feel that if I take my own emotions out of the equation that it puts me into a better position to be of service.