I'm so devastated. I honestly don't know how to do this....

[Emma123]

I have a month and a half left of my LPN, then I start the RN this summer. Almost there, even despite that my ex husband died unexpectedly and my kids are still going through that turmoil.

Well it gets worse. My husband of 3 years told me Thursday night that he wants a divorce. He up and left. I'm here in this house. NO money (our agreement was for me to focus on school, then when I'm done he wanted to quit his job that he hates and do something else). All this time I've been working so hard for our family (he has 2 boys and I have 3 children, too). All this work, to now get this blow to my stomach.

I don't know what to do. I don't even know if he'll make the house payment or not? I don't know how I'm supposed to go to school tomorrow (I have a test, and every time I sit down to study I cry).

I have had maybe 3-400 caloric intake (with FORCING myself) to eat--stomach is just in knots. I feel so betrayed. I'm so afraid. I don't have a penny to my name to move out on my own, plus try to work and get through school full time and clinicals.

Why now.........I know this is such a "poor me" post, but I am just so hurt that words couldn't even explain it. I want to just hide, cry.

My mom and friend told me I need to "buck up" and get through this, but my buck up is laying in fetal postion on the pasture right now..........

Please help with any words of advice or support you might have for me. I so need support.....

Thank you so much

Many hugs

Emma

[LoriAlabamaRN]

That's terrible... My only advice would be to take LPN boards and work as an LPN until your life is stable enough to continue on with the RN program. Those classes are so difficult, and with all you are going through, it would be so hard to focus. Just get yourself to a good place, make it through this last part of LPN school, and get financial aid built up for the RN program before diving back in. I'm so sorry you are going through this!

[epiphany]

That's terrible... My only advice would be to take LPN boards and work as an LPN until your life is stable enough to continue on with the RN program. Those classes are so difficult, and with all you are going through, it would be so hard to focus. Just get yourself to a good place, make it through this last part of LPN school, and get financial aid built up for the RN program before diving back in. I'm so sorry you are going through this!

I'm so sorry, it sounds terrible what you must be going through. I like LoriAlabama's idea. It seem practical.

[2real]

My ex-hub quit his job in the middle of my second semester of nursing school. He said I would have to drop out and get a full time job to support us. I was devestated, and had children, and finals looming. I stuck it out, finished the semester- worked PT nights at a nursing home to cover necessities. Then I enrolled for the LPN summer course. On completion I could at least work as an LPN and make a little more than a grocery clerk!

I did that for a year. Then the next year rolled around , I was on the waiting list for RN classes. An opening came up and I signed up. My husband was furious! I told he he would just have to find a job- any job! He ended up getting a roofing job! Oh well! ...

I knew I had to leave the manipulative, verbally abusive , insecure jerk sooner or later. So I decided to increase my odds of survival as a single mom--- And I finished school--with honors! I just knew my life would be better in the end if I just kept plugging.

He threw every monkey wrench in that he could muster. I know his insecurity at the prospect of me being able to support myself--- and that it appeared that I was smarter than him---burst his tender ego, and he tried like hell to stop it. He was afraid I would leave him if I was financially able. I suspect your ex may have had the same thoughts. Oh, and they're very big on thinking that "now we're going to hook up with a DR. and leave them in the dust." We can thank the soaps for that!

Please don't let anyone stop you! You must be able to support yourself and your kids! Keep the priorties in order. Like they said--food stamps, ssi , loans--whatever you can get , take it. You can pay it back later when you make decent money.

It will be hard , but keep the end in sight! It feels good to know it is temporary! You'll feel so GOOD when it's over. And proud, and secure with your ability to persevere and make it through anything life throws you! Nobody can take that away from you!

Good luck to you! I wish you the best.

(and see a lawyer!)

[NrsJena]

Emma- I agree with all of the previous posters. Especially the one who said to let us cry for you. Let us be angry. Let us not eat or sleep right. We'll handle that for you. All you have to focus on is what you have to do to make it through today,ok? Hold your head high and march on. We're right there with you. :)

[KMSRN]

Get a GOOD junk yard dog lawyer now! I went through a similar situation while I was in nursing school and my kick a** lawyer saved the day. There is no such thing as an amicable divorce especially when money and kids are involved. Having said that, it is all up to the judge which can be a crap shoot.

Hang in there, you'll make it one way or the other - and you'll probably be better off.

[oxyjen]

What everyone else said. Sounds like you could use a bit of Xanax to smooth the rough edges too. We're all on your side!

[fnlyRNstudent05]

my heart goes out to you! i wish you all the luck in the world and i hope that you find comfort knowing you are not alone and that others have been through the same.

dont give up!

i agree with the other posters who suggest getting ssi, talking to school and taking the sob to court. you need to finish your school because it will support you and provide service to your community. you are lucky to be in a program and that fact puts you in a good position for help financially to see that you finish your education.

we are all here for you!

[soliant12]

It would take almost a year for them to get your house if you fail to make payments.

[Brainyheart]

Emma,

I am so sorry this is happening to you...lots of terrific advice has already been given, so this might not seem worth much: please go RIGHT AWAY to see what kind of counseling support your nursing program can give you. You are dealing with some unbelievably tough stuff, and I'd bet there are people in place at your school who can support you.

Also, please don't let yourself get sick...your kids and your patients and your fellow nurses (and nursing students) need you. Try to eat just a little quality food every few hours if you can't manage 3 full meals. Make sure you get some protein each time. And BREATHE! Breathing can be so relaxing and it's so easy to hold your breath and rob your bod of all that precious gas exchange when your're so stressed. You deserve to do well and to move toward your goal, so give yourself every possible break that you can. Be a good nurse-advocate for yourself! And PLEASE don't give up!

Prayers and all good,

Brainyheart

[Kim O'Therapy, BSN, RN]

https://allnurses.com/forums/f8/true-inspiration-159136.html

Emma,

I happened to post this today.......hope it helps in some way.

Aussie

[buddiage]

My ex-hub quit his job in the middle of my second semester of nursing school. He said I would have to drop out and get a full time job to support us. I was devestated, and had children, and finals looming. I stuck it out, finished the semester- worked PT nights at a nursing home to cover necessities. Then I enrolled for the LPN summer course. On completion I could at least work as an LPN and make a little more than a grocery clerk!

I did that for a year. Then the next year rolled around , I was on the waiting list for RN classes. An opening came up and I signed up. My husband was furious! I told he he would just have to find a job- any job! He ended up getting a roofing job! Oh well! ...

I knew I had to leave the manipulative, verbally abusive , insecure jerk sooner or later. So I decided to increase my odds of survival as a single mom--- And I finished school--with honors! I just knew my life would be better in the end if I just kept plugging.

He threw every monkey wrench in that he could muster. I know his insecurity at the prospect of me being able to support myself--- and that it appeared that I was smarter than him---burst his tender ego, and he tried like hell to stop it. He was afraid I would leave him if I was financially able. I suspect your ex may have had the same thoughts. Oh, and they're very big on thinking that "now we're going to hook up with a DR. and leave them in the dust." We can thank the soaps for that!

Please don't let anyone stop you! You must be able to support yourself and your kids! Keep the priorties in order. Like they said--food stamps, ssi , loans--whatever you can get , take it. You can pay it back later when you make decent money.

It will be hard , but keep the end in sight! It feels good to know it is temporary! You'll feel so GOOD when it's over. And proud, and secure with your ability to persevere and make it through anything life throws you! Nobody can take that away from you!

Good luck to you! I wish you the best.

(and see a lawyer!)

:yeahthat:

Your school is your lifeline. This will be difficult, but not impossible. There are no rules saying you can't cry with a game face on.

Lots of advice here seems pretty sound... And, depending on your personality, this could be a pretty big blow if you had any tendancies to be overly dependant (been there, got the t-shirt) on your husband to feel good, worthy, smart, pretty.

You are going to find out that you CAN and you WILL make it through this, although it won't be easy. You have family to help out with this transition? I'd ask family and friends to help with the kids until you can get through this. Don't try to do it alone. Reach out.

[Daye]

Emma Hon,

I am so sorry that you are facing all of this and yes I have had a similar experience in my own life, so I know that what you are talking about is life changing and earth shattering.

One thing I learned is that there are marriage counselor's and divorce councelors...they are great to help you cope and survive, find a good divorce councilor and start to get the help you need to heal.

Also if you have a religious affiliation go right away and seek help there are so many people who are willing to help you but you have to ask. Right now it may not look like it will ever stop hurting but I promise you it will until then allow others to help you get through this.