I have a month and a half left of my LPN, then I start the RN this summer. Almost there, even despite that my ex husband died unexpectedly and my kids are still going through that turmoil.
Well it gets worse. My husband of 3 years told me Thursday night that he wants a divorce. He up and left. I'm here in this house. NO money (our agreement was for me to focus on school, then when I'm done he wanted to quit his job that he hates and do something else). All this time I've been working so hard for our family (he has 2 boys and I have 3 children, too). All this work, to now get this blow to my stomach.
I don't know what to do. I don't even know if he'll make the house payment or not? I don't know how I'm supposed to go to school tomorrow (I have a test, and every time I sit down to study I cry).
I have had maybe 3-400 caloric intake (with FORCING myself) to eat--stomach is just in knots. I feel so betrayed. I'm so afraid. I don't have a penny to my name to move out on my own, plus try to work and get through school full time and clinicals.
Why now.........I know this is such a "poor me" post, but I am just so hurt that words couldn't even explain it. I want to just hide, cry.
My mom and friend told me I need to "buck up" and get through this, but my buck up is laying in fetal postion on the pasture right now..........
Please help with any words of advice or support you might have for me. I so need support.....
I'm so sorry to shout....you've all been SOOO GREAT and given me such GREAT advice....
but omg
My Mom (who has systemic lupus), is in critical care unit in the hospital.
I just SAW HER WEDNESDAY!!!
When I got to the hospital last night she was SOOOOOOOOOOO CONFUSED. She didn't recognize me. She kept saying "momma momma".
She didn't know who I was!!!!!!!!!!!!! :o :o :o
They think she may have meningitis, but because her spine is so contorted they couldn't get the lumbar puncture ( 3 diff anesthesiologists tried). They have her on dopamine (her BP was 50something/34), vancomycin. She doesn't have a fever, wasn't sick. Her sodium was 128, but it's always been low. CT negative. But they said that doesn't mean that she doesn't have a small bleed somewhere.
OMG she is my BEST FRIEND in the world. She's been through such turmoil with her disease. She is so kind. So loving. Always there for me.
Now she doesn't know me.....
How can I go on....................
I called my husband last night crying (he is staying with his grandmother) and she said "YOU need to get a hold of yourself. He's sleeping, hold on." So she got him. I got on the phone with him and told him and all he said was "I'm sorry. What do you want me to do?" I asked him to please drive me to the hospital b/c I couldn't drive crying. he said no, that he needed to get sleep.......
I love you guys for your support and advice.
Thank you for letting me vent here and for feeling that I am not alone. I so need your support.
Specializes in pedi, pedi psych,dd, school ,home health.
((((((Emma)))))) you are certainly being tested. Just remember that all these things will make you a stronger person and more compassionate nurse. We are all praying for you and your mom. dont forget to keep your nursing instructors in the loop; they dont want to lose you at this point ! I am sure they have seen things like this happen to other students and may be able to help you get thru.. good luck and keep us posted when you can. Mary
:o 
weirdRN, RN
586 Posts
Emma,
I would echo everything that has been said thus far. They are all on the right track.
YOU CAN DO IT!
I have you on my prayer list.