I'm considering nursing, but I'm scared of "lateral violence"

Nursing Students Pre-Nursing

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I'm particularly terrified of nursing school because I've all the horror stories I've heard...and I know school doesn't last forever, but I've also heard on-the-job horror stories too...

One of my friends quit nursing school recently because her instructors were horribly rude. This isn't a girl with thin skin. In fact, she survived a childhood of abuse and is one of the toughest people I know. She said she couldn't bear one more second of her instructors and that it just wasn't worth it.

I've wanted to be a nurse since I was a teenager, and I consider myself pretty good at dealing with BS, but I'm not willing to sacrifice a large chunk of my life dealing with rude people. If I were going to do that, I'd become a cashier :o

Are some specialties less prone to lateral violence? Is it mainly confined to med-surg?

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What makes you think that one person's experience at nursing school would apply to the whole field? There will always be difficult people to deal with in different professions - and sometimes they will be downright rude. There are "horror stories" that anyone can tell you. It's part of life, and that is just part of growing/maturing as a person and learning how to deal with it.

I can't comment on your friend's situation since I don't know the specifics, but it shouldn't affect your desire to enter nursing which should have something to do with wanting to help people and have a positive impact on their medical care.

If it's a true career choice for you - go for it!

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I am not a nurse so I can't say much about their lateral violence. I have read the stories about what some of the nurses have said or done to other nurses. Personally, it reminded me of teaching and teachers. Some have been known to treat other teachers the way these "bully" nurses have treated their co-workers. They will go and tell the Principal and tattle over every small infraction just to get the teacher in trouble or to cast doubt. The Principals didn't always make it easier because they would have favorites and the rules didn't apply to the favorites, but the rest of the school better be following the rules. I have seen a Principal "stack" a teacher's class in effort to document (prove) why this teacher should be fired. These are all awful things about teaching and yet it really isn't that way for most teachers. If a teacher found themselves in this type of situation we always encouraged them to transfer to another school in the district. Each school has a little different dynamic due to the personalities in the school. Some teachers would do great in one school and not in another. From what I have read the same applies with nursing. I know that lateral violence does happen, but if you love what you do, try to keep an open mind for learning, do a good job, and find a floor or office that has the same type of personality that you have I'm sure you will do fine.

If nursing is something that you truly want I wouldn't let the bad stories stand in your way. I may have a naive point of view about this and please correct me if I am way off base on this. I still have a lot to learn.

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I wanted to point out one more thing. We don't always just say sorry it didn't work out and find another school. We do take up for our teachers and will speak up for our teachers. We went to the Principal and complained to him that we were very aware that he had '"stacked" her class and would defend her to the board. He did back off and left her alone for the rest of the year. She did have to basically make due with the nightmare class that she had been given.

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Honestly, I dont think there is any profession that doesn't have this issue, it really depends on where you go to school, or where you work and it varies. I used to be a caseworker and people will always talk about each other, the Judges and some lawyers were big time BULLIES; nothing you ever did made them happy they would embarass you in court infront of everyone, I really belived that they were so miserable in their lives thats why they were meanies in court. One of my friends worked as a lab technologist and she suffered the same, she cried every night because someone was rude to her and ended up going to medical school. So if your dream is to become a nurse, pls don't give up! If you feel that the hospital is "too rough" for you, you can always be a school nurse, nurse researcher, writer, etc...

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What makes you think that one person's experience at nursing school would apply to the whole field?

Stories - plural, and it isn't just school - if so, I wouldn't be worried at all. I don't think it can be denied that stress, frustration and burnout in nursing is high. There have been extensive studies done on this topic.

Honestly, I dont think there is any profession that doesn't have this issue, it really depends on where you go to school, or where you work and it varies. I used to be a caseworker and people will always talk about each other, the Judges and some lawyers were big time BULLIES; nothing you ever did made them happy they would embarass you in court infront of everyone, I really belived that they were so miserable in their lives thats why they were meanies in court. One of my friends worked as a lab technologist and she suffered the same, she cried every night because someone was rude to her and ended up going to medical school. So if your dream is to become a nurse, pls don't give up! If you feel that the hospital is "too rough" for you, you can always be a school nurse, nurse researcher, writer, etc...

Thanks for the support...that is true. I suppose if clinical work became unbearable I could become a nurse educator and try to pass on some kindness in the world. :heartbeat However, I should clarify that this would be a second degree for me. At the moment I work in a job that is both very boring and very placid...I wouldn't say lateral violence or bullying occurs regularly in every profession.

But you couldn't pay me enough to work for lawyers :uhoh21:

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and its called horizontal violence and you need to suck it up.

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and its called horizontal violence and you need to suck it up.

Lateral and horizontal are both correct, and why exactly does she need to suck it up? It's a perfectly valid concern.

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and its called horizontal violence and you need to suck it up.

While I think 'suck it up' wasnt exactly appropriate I do believe they have a point. I think any position where you are going to be working with other people, any type of violence is always going to be an underlying issue. It would be great if everyone were nice & polite. We all know that's not the case. You are going to deal with various people...sweet, naive, polite, rude, angry, vindictive, etc.

I think the only true way you're never going to encounter it is if you work by yourself. Is that really what you want to do?

I've had jobs before where people were rude. I learned to deal with it and it made me stronger.

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While I think 'suck it up' wasnt exactly appropriate I do believe they have a point. I think any position where you are going to be working with other people, any type of violence is always going to be an underlying issue. It would be great if everyone were nice & polite. We all know that's not the case. You are going to deal with various people...sweet, naive, polite, rude, angry, vindictive, etc.

I think the only true way you're never going to encounter it is if you work by yourself. Is that really what you want to do?

I've had jobs before where people were rude. I learned to deal with it and it made me stronger.

That is definitely true. However nursing has a reputation for having more of this type of violence than almost any other profession. So I think it's not only appropriate to be concerned about it, telling someone to "suck it up" and just take it is perpetuating the problem.

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Specializes in Psychiatry.
and its called horizontal violence and you need to suck it up.

How is this helpful to the OP?

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Specializes in LPN.

i work in the wonderful world of production with a handful of miserable woman. [have you seen the mailroom scene from the movie elf?] they have called me names out loud and given me stares like they want to kill me. (been to the office and no progress...)but, i have lots of friends at work too and everyone understands that those gals have problems :uhoh3:. they even fight amoungst themselves. i am not the only one that has problems with them. but i just let it go right over my shoulder and whistle! because i have a choice, and i choose to be happy :D. i think it makes these people (who are intent on pouring their misery on others) even angrier when they know that they are not able to penetrate my bubble. of course sometimes it effects me, but i don't let them know it...and then i remind myself these people are jealous of me because i am a happy person with goals.

i think there is always going to be someone that does not like you wherever you go, and often many woman are catty (not me!). i don't know why. :rolleyes: i have heard about doctors, patients, patients' familys, and other nurses treating nurses badly, but i am not afraid, because i've already been to meanville.

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