I'm wondering if this is what I want to do anymore. I don't know if it is the program I am in or just me. On one hand, I like the subject matter and do want to help people (I know we all heard that one before). Then on the other hand, I do not like direct patient care and the organization of the program is pretty ******. I don't know what to do. I feel like I'm not cut out for it anymore. I thought I was coming in from high school, but now I just feel uncomfortable, like I'm just there. I put all this money into already with tuition, books, supplies, and the NSA membership, yet I'm doubting myself. Maybe it has to do with grades? I'm in my second semester and first semester of clinicals. I have no clue, but I would hate to finish (if that is possible), get my license (again, if that is possible), and hate going to work everyday at the hospital. I almost rather be the CNA so I don't have to have the responsibilities of the RN. I've never wanted to drop out of school before until now. I want to cry because it seems like what I had planned out for my life is now wrong. Even when I did read all the time (I don't anymore because I don't have the initiative to), I always wondered how I would put it into practice. The clinical portion has always seemed scary to me. It doesn't help that program is disorganized, with teachers telling you to go "Google" an answer and having miscommunication amongst themselves and with students. It's super expensive on top of that! I don't know what they're asking anymore. Now I don't care. I'm going to go crawl in a hole now. OK, not really, because I have to muster up some motivation to do this paper.
From what I'm getting, this is a pretty common experience. However, I'm seriously thinking this over. I'm just giving myself until the end of the semester before I make a decision, after the final grades come in. I already have a back up plan. At least if I had did an ADN program I would not had wasted so much time like with the BSN program.
Oh, OP, I feel your pain. I have been in a similar situation where I felt like quitting and I did quit... It took me a while to realise that the topic / subject wasn't the problem, but I was the problem. The bad grades were due to MY studying habits and that needed to be change. Discipline is the biggest problem..So although i can't offer any adivce about nursing school, I was told a couple of things by other nurses. (both young and one I had interviewed today after class...he was sweet)
Anyway:
1. It is normal that there will be times when you will try and want to quit and feel not cut out for it.
2. First year (or slightly over) is a shock to the system.
3. If you are solely in it for the money, you will burn out eventually.
4. Take this as an obstacle - a test of character, a challenge. Rather than admitting early defeat.
*hugs*
I'd trade places with you in a heartbeat. You have to ask yourself is it the habits, something you are doing wrong that is causing you to be discouraged and wanting to quit...or if you genuinely hate it. I'm just surprised that you completely hate direct patient care...that one baffles me a bit. My heart goes out to you.
Looking at all your posts, I can see that your are in a very emotional state over all this and frankly, decisions about careers should be based much more on logical thought than emotion. You are also very young (I have over 30 years on you, nuff said) and haven't had the experience of working in the real world for any length of time where that experience would temper the angst you are feeling now.
So what should you do? Your call, but I can tell you that there is at least one older lady with kids in my class that quit years before and regretted the choice. She said she didn't think she could do it. I guess raising several kids proved to her that she did have what it takes.
Nursing is not a job for the squeamish or folks that don't want the emotional involvement that it requires to be good at your job. So maybe if you have already discovered that about yourself, then a change in course is necessary. Talk to the folks around you, especially the older ones that can sympathize with your feelings but have the longer term vision to help you make the right decision. Whatever you do, be positive about yourself and move ahead with your life. Good Luck.
Yea, I think its the grades deal. My grades recently have been a shock to me since I started college. I need to return to my old study habits that worked last semester. I just got lazy.
I was able to talk to my advisor the other day. I told her that I wasn't feeling as "cold" to the profession anymore. I just had to step back from my emotions and re-evaluate why I even went into nursing in the first place. I told her how I feel when I go into patients' rooms, the nervousness I feel that makes me hate the whole situation. Then I told her about what I would like to do after graduation, which is public health. She said that it was good that I was able to recognize my strengths and weaknesses. That way I know what I like and don't like, so far. If I have any other concerns, she said I'm welcome to talk to her again. She will be one of my instructors next semester.
All in all, I feel a little better about everything. However, I have another clinical tomorrow. I'm still lacking in one of the areas of my clinical evaluation, so I have to pull that up. The semester is not over yet, so it would suck if I failed on the basis of .2 points on a evaluation subscale or completely bombing the final.
We all have to fight our own demons and believe me I have lost many battles! Point being, don't let the voices of self-doubt conquer you. Fight back with why you DO want to finish what you started, what made you try so hard to get into this in the first place, and why you WILL be good at it. The easiest thing to do is quit(esp. when things are ruff), you can give your self a million excuses as to why it's a good idea to quit and why you aren't cut out for this. But, you have to ask yourself why it was so easy to begin this when you first started, and what motivated you then...Hold on to that.
When you know for sure that you're able to give a well thought about - beyond a shadow of a doubt- reason why you shouldn't continue, and can look 10 years into the future and know you won't regret quitting, then that's what you should do.
Good luck with whatever you decide, it all boils down to you doing what's right for you :redbeathe
Oh, and I have had the dream of losing my teeth for a couple of years now too...Weird....I wonder what it means for me? I just assumed it was because my wisdom teeth are coming in and my mouth hurts. But, now that I think about the dreams it's always very dramatic and my family is always around me telling me everything will be okay...Wow, now I'm nervous:eek: guess I need to do some dream research.
I was in the same exact situation as you, second semester in my BSN program. The fundamentals course just whisked by and everybody else in the program formed cliques within themselves and could "hear" each others "sounds" and do BPs while I was just whimpering on wondering "did I really hear that correctly or uncertainty of BP reading"
I purchased a Littman II Cardiology scope from the beginning so it was pretty LOUD lol I just did not have confidence. Which is key in nursing! Self confidence.
Unfortunately for you, BSN programs require Med Surg I,II,III + Maternity + Psych + Peds = all in a Hospital! and it looks like your recent posts vastly differ from post 1, which is that you dont REALLY hate patient contact you're just NERVOUS; this is a big, and key difference to my suggestion:
STAY IN NURSING SCHOOL.
I hope you will update us with how your clinical day went at the hospital. Allnurses community is all about support, and helping each other out; we ALL have something to ask and something to gain. SO dont feel helpless, dumbfounded, or too hard on yourself. Nursing school isnt as easy as people's perception of it during high school..nurses are not just "pretty, helpful, and just do what doctor says" as is thought by high schoolers..
Anyway, I think you're just nervous and doubt yourself due to first year anxiety. Do not make any costly-decision based on this; I think if you can overcome your hospital-"itis" (hehe) you will be OK!
I was in the same exact situation as you, second semester in my BSN program. The fundamentals course just whisked by and everybody else in the program formed cliques within themselves and could "hear" each others "sounds" and do BPs while I was just whimpering on wondering "did I really hear that correctly or uncertainty of BP reading"
I purchased a Littman II Cardiology scope from the beginning so it was pretty LOUD lol I just did not have confidence. Which is key in nursing! Self confidence.
Unfortunately for you, BSN programs require Med Surg I,II,III + Maternity + Psych + Peds = all in a Hospital! and it looks like your recent posts vastly differ from post 1, which is that you dont REALLY hate patient contact you're just NERVOUS; this is a big, and key difference to my suggestion:
STAY IN NURSING SCHOOL.
I hope you will update us with how your clinical day went at the hospital. Allnurses community is all about support, and helping each other out; we ALL have something to ask and something to gain. SO dont feel helpless, dumbfounded, or too hard on yourself. Nursing school isnt as easy as people's perception of it during high school..nurses are not just "pretty, helpful, and just do what doctor says" as is thought by high schoolers..
Anyway, I think you're just nervous and doubt yourself due to first year anxiety. Do not make any costly-decision based on this; I think if you can overcome your hospital-"itis" (hehe) you will be OK!
You're right. I am just waiting to see how this semester ends. I know it will only get harder as it goes along. :sigh:
My clinical last week went fine, at least I think so. It also depends on how my clinical instructor evaluates me. On the last evaluation, she wrote that I gave safe patient care, but needed to work on my diagnosis. I hope I made some improvements on the nursing diagnosis on the last care plan. So far, I've been picking really nice patients, which help me a little bit with my nervousness. After I break the ice, it becomes easier to talk to them. The lady last week was a sweet on 84 year old. I just kept checking on her and talking to her like she was my grandmother. I also gave meds for my second time. Hopefully I can make it through the last 2 weeks of clinicals on this good luck streak.
Good luck with the rest of the year. I hope you start to gain more confidence. Remember there are TONS of different jobs in the nursing field, and you can always get your Masters in something other than Nursing, with a BSN! :)
Hi. Just wanted you to know that yrs ago, I was on the fence between nursing and x-ray. Decided on nursing b/c I was nervous about blood draws. Well...I had to learn it to draw for MRI's anyway, now I wish I had gone to nursing school. Nurses union's are good to nurses; X-ray techs not so much. Some states don't require a license to be a x-ray tech, which drives down salaries. It is mostly a cleaner job, not a lot of poop, but there are BE's and I have slipped in pt's urine before, but generally it's less cleaning and more imaging. Hope this helps. Prereq's are about the same; Rn's make roughly the same as CT or MRI to start but RN's make much more down the road w/experience, and as the baby boomers contimue to retire, the nursing shortage will continue. X-ray? Not so much. Currently, there's a glut in the market for X-ray techs, especially in the Midwest. I've heard of new techs working at Target..not that that there's anything wron with that, except working your tail off for meager wages.
I'm also getting into nursing because I want to do public health and non-bedside work...I start clinicals next week and I am pretty much scared out of my mind. But, I have lots of experience in working with people in a customer service background so I'm trying to focus on that strength to carry me through....and I would advise you to focus on your strengths as well. I think there is a light at the end of the tunnel for you--public health. And a BSN is going to be very valuable for that line of work.
I think everyone has a time when they feel like they want to give up. I've had my fair share throughout my schooling and work experiences. There have been many days where I've dreaded this or that or felt like a failure.
In high school I was in marching band, and our h.s. band was practically like being in the military. Very strict, you get yelled at a lot, and it was tons of work. The first two years of band, I dreaded every practice and event and I wanted nothing more in life than to quit the band. But my parents made me stick with it, and I'm glad they did because it ended up being my favorite and most rewarding part of high school. I learned a lot about life from the entire experience. I learned the meaning of hard work and that persistence truly does pay off.
Now I do think there is a difference between working through something very difficult yet that you know is right versus putting yourself through hell for nothing. What is your gut feeling? It might help you to pinpoint the exact specific things about school that you're struggling with: make a list, evaluate those items...is there anything you can do to change those things that are bothering you? Maybe that will help....good luck!
Even when I did read all the time (I don't anymore because I don't have the initiative to), I always wondered how I would put it into practice. The clinical portion has always seemed scary to me. It doesn't help that program is disorganized, with teachers telling you to go "Google" an answer and having miscommunication amongst themselves and with students. It's super expensive on top of that! I don't know what they're asking anymore. Now I don't care. I'm going to go crawl in a hole now. OK, not really, because I have to muster up some motivation to do this paper.
Good Luck.
I just did not have confidence. Which is key in nursing! Self confidence.
Crystal112
39 Posts
Oh, OP, I feel your pain. I have been in a similar situation where I felt like quitting and I did quit... It took me a while to realise that the topic / subject wasn't the problem, but I was the problem. The bad grades were due to MY studying habits and that needed to be change. Discipline is the biggest problem..So although i can't offer any adivce about nursing school, I was told a couple of things by other nurses. (both young and one I had interviewed today after class...he was sweet)
Anyway:
1. It is normal that there will be times when you will try and want to quit and feel not cut out for it.
2. First year (or slightly over) is a shock to the system.
3. If you are solely in it for the money, you will burn out eventually.
4. Take this as an obstacle - a test of character, a challenge. Rather than admitting early defeat.
*hugs*
I'd trade places with you in a heartbeat. You have to ask yourself is it the habits, something you are doing wrong that is causing you to be discouraged and wanting to quit...or if you genuinely hate it. I'm just surprised that you completely hate direct patient care...that one baffles me a bit. My heart goes out to you.