I Want To Quit

~Mi Vida Loca~RN, ASN, RN · Mar 30, 2010

My old thread got a little off topic.
I'm wondering if this is what I want to do anymore. I don't know if it is the program I am in or just me. On one hand, I like the subject matter and do want to help people (I know we all heard that one before). Then on the other hand, I do not like direct patient care and the organization of the program is pretty ******. I don't know what to do. I feel like I'm not cut out for it anymore. I thought I was coming in from high school, but now I just feel uncomfortable, like I'm just there. I put all this money into already with tuition, books, supplies, and the NSA membership, yet I'm doubting myself. Maybe it has to do with grades? I'm in my second semester and first semester of clinicals. I have no clue, but I would hate to finish (if that is possible), get my license (again, if that is possible), and hate going to work everyday at the hospital. I almost rather be the CNA so I don't have to have the responsibilities of the RN. I've never wanted to drop out of school before until now. I want to cry because it seems like what I had planned out for my life is now wrong. Even when I did read all the time (I don't anymore because I don't have the initiative to), I always wondered how I would put it into practice. The clinical portion has always seemed scary to me. It doesn't help that program is disorganized, with teachers telling you to go "Google" an answer and having miscommunication amongst themselves and with students. It's super expensive on top of that! I don't know what they're asking anymore. Now I don't care. I'm going to go crawl in a hole now. OK, not really, because I have to muster up some motivation to do this paper.
From what I'm getting, this is a pretty common experience. However, I'm seriously thinking this over. I'm just giving myself until the end of the semester before I make a decision, after the final grades come in. I already have a back up plan. At least if I had did an ADN program I would not had wasted so much time like with the BSN program.

you still would have wasted a lot of time even on the Associates, I had no prior college experience and spent 1.5 years doing pre reqs full time (and the pre reqs for the pre reqs) and sat on a wait list for 3.5 years and then spent another year getting my co reqs out of the way.

I think the way you are feeling is very common, especially when your grades are down. I just went through the same thing but I posted to you about it on your other thread. Hang in there.

cicatrixx15 · Mar 30, 2010

I did medical transcription training a few years ago, and in the middle of it, I told my parents I was going to quit. I didn't care. It is so ******* boring. My parents talked me out of it and I finished. Now if I did want to go back and do transcription I could. It's never good to give up. Since you've already gotten into the nursing program, hang in there. The more you learn the easier it should be.

MattiesMama · Mar 30, 2010

I'm just a little confused about your statement that "I don't like direct patient care"...what aspect of it bothers you?

I think we all hit a wall sometimes...it is common in Nsg school. That being said, it kind of sounds like you are experiencing something a little beyond stressing over a courseload and maybe you do need to do some soul searching to find out if this is really what you want. It sucks to think that you have wasted time and money, but most college students change their major like 5 times anyways. Better to figure it out now than 4 years down the road, you know?

wahwahgerman · Mar 30, 2010

Don't quit A lot of your experiences sound familiar, some of the students in my school are questioning if they "belong" in nursing school or even in the field of nursing. Just remember that your clinical experience isn't indicative of what your job will be like in the real world. There are so many areas that an RN can work in, some with more patient care and some with less "hands-on" care.

I completely agree, it is frustrating when you are told to Google something by an instructor...but they don't know everything either, they probably specialized in one or two areas of nursing.

Stick with it, in the end it will all be worth it. As hard as I worked just to get accepted into the nursing program, I won't even consider quitting...not an option.

trae55 · Mar 30, 2010

Unless you have a clear cut passion for something else, I would stick with it.

Maybe you'll graduate with your BSN and never use it for hospital nursing. That's okay. There's so many other things that you could do. You could review cases for an insurance company or even go into pharmaceutical/medical device sales.

Another thing, when I was your age, I quit nursing. I felt so out of my element and not prepared to actually take care of people. I really wish I would have stuck with it now. That confidence comes with practice. You're only in your first semester of clinicals. You may feel completely different next semester once you get your footing.

citylights89, BSN, RN · Mar 30, 2010

I dread coming to school this morning, but because I just have general education classes I did. However, I haveto do a presentation in one of my nursing classes tomorrow. Hopefully my anger won't show through. I just feel really discouraged right now. I'm barely passing the class. I always knew I didn't want to be a bedside nurse. I want to get my Master's, but it won't be any good with these grades I'm getting. Even so, some programs still want a year or so experience in an acute care facility, something I genuinely do not want to do. I don'twant to work 12 hour shifts, I don't want to work on crazy days of the week, I don't want to clean up somebody's **** and I don't want to put up with the BS that nurses seem to go through in the workplace. I do 't know what I was thinking when I decided on this major. I guess I thought I would be "helping" people while having a respectable career and good pay. I'm second guessing all that. I'm pretty sure if I work in a hospital I will hate my job. I rather be a city bus driver at this point than work in a hospital. Just to get through school you have to be in a hospital most of the time. I'm tired if my aching feet and bruised toenails. Arghh!!!!! I would still like to be in the medical field, but not in a hospital as a nurse. I wanna scream right now. Even the site of the school makes me mad. I only wasted a year. Better to make a decision now that get further into the program and ride out these 3 stinkin years. Why is it so long, anyway? >

sorry if all that was a big clump of a paragraph. I'm venting on this tiny keypad of this iPod.

caliotter3 · Mar 30, 2010

Just hope that you do not become one of those who quit nursing school only to realize years later that they should have stuck with their goal. I can assure you that if you come back to nursing 20 years from now, it will be more difficult and you will waste a lot more time and definitely more money to get where you are now again.

kayty2339 · Mar 30, 2010

From reading your posts, I personally think you should quit...I know everybody is saying don't quit and you may regret it. But if you truly hate nursing as bad as you do, you shouldn't continue to waste more time. Maybe you could still do something medical, but not in direct care. You could go into public health or medical research maybe?? Or even hospital administration? There are a lot of things you can still do. You haven't wasted too much time with the general ed classes, most of those you can use for another BA degree, especially if you go into something related to health or biology. There is that chance that you may regret quitting later on, but honestly if you have this much hate for it and such little passion, I can't imagine you doing well in school and that will only hurt you in the long run, not help you.

I started out wanting to be a nurse right out of highschool, but never actually pursued it fully. I took some pre-req classes that I didn't care about passing and then dropped out of school completely and started working at a bank. Now that I am actually in the nursing program, I can look back and know that I made the right decision. I wasn't mentally prepared and I wasn't mature enough or motivated enough to do well in this program at that time in my life. School was not a priority for me and I cared more about having fun with friends than worrying about school. Yes, it would have been nice to have the motivation then and gotten done with it. It would have been way easier since I didn't have any kids or bills to worry about at that time. But the fact is, I wasn't ready for it. Now I am motivated and am putting in 150% of effort into this program and I know that I am doing a whole lot better now (even with more on my plate such as kids/husband/bills) than I would have when I was 19 years old.

Follow your heart and do what's right for you at this time in your life.

citylights89, BSN, RN · Mar 30, 2010

From reading your posts, I personally think you should quit...I know everybody is saying don't quit and you may regret it. But if you truly hate nursing as bad as you do, you shouldn't continue to waste more time. Maybe you could still do something medical, but not in direct care. You could go into public health or medical research maybe?? Or even hospital administration? There are a lot of things you can still do. You haven't wasted too much time with the general ed classes, most of those you can use for another BA degree, especially if you go into something related to health or biology. There is that chance that you may regret quitting later on, but honestly if you have this much hate for it and such little passion, I can't imagine you doing well in school and that will only hurt you in the long run, not help you.
I started out wanting to be a nurse right out of highschool, but never actually pursued it fully. I took some pre-req classes that I didn't care about passing and then dropped out of school completely and started working at a bank. Now that I am actually in the nursing program, I can look back and know that I made the right decision. I wasn't mentally prepared and I wasn't mature enough or motivated enough to do well in this program at that time in my life. School was not a priority for me and I cared more about having fun with friends than worrying about school. Yes, it would have been nice to have the motivation then and gotten done with it. It would have been way easier since I didn't have any kids or bills to worry about at that time. But the fact is, I wasn't ready for it. Now I am motivated and am putting in 150% of effort into this program and I know that I am doing a whole lot better now (even with more on my plate such as kids/husband/bills) than I would have when I was 19 years old.
Follow your heart and do what's right for you at this time in your life.

That's what I want to do, something like Public Health or Research. The BSN level classes we do I thoroughly enjoy. I like researching statistics and formulating health promotion programs. I like researching about infectious diseases and how we could control them. I was thinking about getting a MPH after nursing school anyhow. Administration is a back up to that. It's the clinical portion I don't like and those awful tests. Fundamentals is the foundation to practice and as of right now, I could care less. I'm giving myself a headache now. It took putting it into actual practice to make me realize.

I'm looking over the information for a Psychology major and Biology minor. It's the easiest transfer and I will get to do something I do enjoy. I loved both of those classes for awhile now. I'll probably end up finishing around the same time as I would with my BSN, so might as well do it with something I will actually like. Maybe I will regret this later on, but I know I will also regret it if I stick it out and hate it. I was going to go to grad school anyway, so I might as well with Psychology. You kind of have to anyway if you want any future in employment. If it was possibel to do an ADN while getting a BA in Psych, that would be a thought, although I would still have to take the clinical classes since they are core to the program, so I don't think so.

I've been having dreams about losing my teeth. At first I look it literally and was freaking out about my teeth. But what it really comes to mean is that something that you thought was permanent or established is changing, or just plain dropping out! This could possibly be the event. It has been going through my mind since this semester when the dreams began.

I'm gonna see what my advisor says about all this later this afternoon. Another nursing student lost. Maybe I would be a good nurse...who knows? Maybe not. I'm just not feeling it...not right now. I need some time off.

~Mi Vida Loca~RN, ASN, RN · Mar 30, 2010

Only you know if you can do it or not. The only thing that worries me is you're basing your wanting to quit mainly on your emotions right now if that makes sense, and I know what that is like. When I was doing bad in my class and barely going to pass I seriously went back and forth every other day if I wanted to do this. I can't tell you how many times I tried to convince myself and my family that I really wasn't cut out for it. Then when I accepted the fact I might have to retake the class my mood changed a little but not much. Once I actually ended up passing the class I had a complete 180 and my head was back in the game. But if I would have made my decision on those earlier emotions because the going was getting tough I would be really hating myself now. Especially with all I put into it and all the time I waited on the wait list.

HouTx, BSN, MSN, EdD · Mar 30, 2010

Oh hon - It makes me sad to read about how you are forcing yourself to something you hate. It's like you're hitting yourself in the head with a hammer... it will feel so good when you stop. Life's much too short and too full of unavoidable pain -- don't volunteer for more. For heaven's sake quit and move on to something you will enjoy. You won't be able to escape bedside experience if you continue in nursing - and you have already said that this would be H*** for you. Just say no.

I love nursing, but it's not everyone's cup of tea. My oldest child was in her first (nursing) clinical experience when she realized she hated it because she could not abide the idea of causing pain to anyone. I encouraged her to follow her instincts and she's now finishing up her 10th year working in Healthcare informatics - and loves it. Have you taken a look at any other healthcare careers? That may be a good idea & it would be a smooth transition for you. There are so many other jobs that include 'helping people' but have much better working conditions and career potential than nursing. Besides, there are enough unhappy nurses out there - patients deserve better, don't you think?