I want to be a nurse so bad--but don't know how to make that possible

AnnieMae* · Mar 18, 2009

I know how you feel. I spent many many years in a low paying job that I did not want to be in wondering how on earth I could possibly go to school, keep a roof on my head, food in my stomach, have time for studying and not have a nervous breakdown... And I am single and have no children.

I heard a lot of answers during that period. And sometimes that was frustrating because I knew that the people giving me that advice were not and could not factor in all the stuff I was dealing with to give me a viable answer. And many people ached with me as they knew how badly I wanted to be doing something in the medical field... I spent years looking for a way. Years.

As you know, there is no silver bullet here, there is no easy answer. And I wish I had one for you. The only thing I can recommend is working a lot and saving up ahead of time. I am finally in school to become an lpn and I have done it in large part by saving up enough to cover expenses. Part of my provision is definitely heavenly provision as I have been offered exceptionally cheap rent during this schooling period. In the end, it may help me to finish school without having to work at all. I will certainly pray for you.

You know, I often ponder why in a field that is so short handed and has so many good candidates that want to be nurses that there are so few viable part time schooling options available to do so.

azhiker96, BSN, RN · Mar 18, 2009

I was thinking of going to nursing school when I got laid off at work due to the plant closing. I talked with my wife, also a nurse, and she was very supportive. She worked extra when she could, we tightened our belts, consolidated our bills to lower payments and I focused on the pre-req classes and getting into an accelerated program. It was tough for awhile but we made it and now that I'm a nurse, things are much easier.

I think the thing to do is talk with your spouse, it sounds like he's very supportive. Accept that you won't have as much time now with your kids as you'd like but set your sights on the goal and think of all the time you'll have with them once you graduate and start working. I work 3 days a week now, 12 hour shifts. With two nurse's paychecks we are comfortable and we can help our kids when they need something. And, it's the best job in the world. Good luck to you!

kcalohagirl · Mar 18, 2009

There is nothing anyone is going to say that is going to give an "easy" solution to the dilemma.

You and your husband are very fortunate that he works as a firefighter, and has a schedule that gives 24/48. However, the rest of the world doesn't always operate on "our" schedules. (By "our", I mean any of us who are expected to be at a job 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year. You know, cops, nurses, firefighters, that kind of job.)

My first advice would be to map out your husband's days on/off. That would give you an idea of the childcare needs that would have to be fulfilled. It may be less than you would have thought.

The other thing that needs to happen is that you and your husband need to sit down and look at the schedule and decide what is a reasonable amount of "duties" you each need to fulfill. With your class schedule and clinicals, for example, you may not be able to put a home-cooked meal on the table 5 nights a week, so adjustments need to be made.

And in my humble opinion, one of the things that will make a huge difference between success and failure is that your mate be 100% invested in your success. If your husband expects you to succeed and wants you to succeed, I think that your mate is more likely to make the sacrifices that allow you to succeed. I mean, if it is a choice between you flunking a class that cost you $1000 to take, or you and your husband realizing that maybe you need a babysitter ($45 for the night) on the night before your midterm so that you can study that last little bit and pass for sure, sometimes it just means communicating and prioritizing.

I'm not gonna say it's gonna be easy or that it is always gonna work, but maybe I can give you a tool or two.

Good luck!

If you want it badly enough, you will find a way to make it work! There are scholarship advisors, etc, that will help you on your way.

Magsulfate, BSN, RN · Mar 18, 2009

Clinicals are sat. and sun. 7-7 every weekend, classes are tues. and thurs. nights from 5-10. When would I ever see my kids? This is not an ideal situation for me at all. My kids are young and I don't want to be away from them that much. The other option is to quit working (or work very part time) and my husband would get a second job. He is a firefighter and works 24 hours on 48 hours off, so he could possibly find a job as an EMT or ER tech 3 days a week/12 hrs a day. That would almost supplement my income. But when I mentioned it to him the other night he was concerned about himself never seeing the kids. He is supportive of me becoming a nurse, he knows I really want this. I know he would do this type of schedule if he had to, but I hate to put that much of a burden on him.
Well, Thanks for listening!

You would see your kids after 7 on the weekends and on monday, wednesday, and friday after school.. and before school each day.. Sometimes during nursing school we have to make sacrifices. I didn't work through school, now I have a huge student loan to pay back.. but it was well worth it. During nursing school I also got help from grants at the school, and grants from a local workforce center. I made it, as a single mom, without a job. I paid the rent and did what I had to do to survive.

During nursing school, if you REALLY want to become a nurse, you and your husband/family will have to make sacrifices. Keep in mind that they will not be permanent sacrifices and that when nursing school is finished you'll have more job security and better pay. YOu may not even have to work as many days that you do now. With six years of experience, if I work three days a week, I still make a little over 80k/year. So, to me, those sacrifices I made were well worth it. Not to mention I still feel that nursing is my calling, even on the hard days.

Nursing school won't be easy, and everyone will have to realize that some hard decisions will have to be made.. good luck :)

AnnieMae* · Mar 18, 2009

Please keep us posted, we are rooting for you! :)

Dottie, RN · Mar 18, 2009

I will definetly pray for you and your family! :icon_hug: Try not to worry about not seeing your family as much, because you will still see them. And remember that when you're in school, you'll get holidays off, spring break, Christmas break, etc. If you want this as bad as you say, you will do it, just believe in yourself and make it happen. Anything is possible if you want it bad enough!

I know exactly how you feel, because I'm in the same situation. My hubby and I had planned for me to quit my full-time day job by the end of the summer (in time before the fall semester of nursing school), but it looks like I won't be able to at least for another year. It was disappointing, because I know it's going to be difficult working full-time and going to nursing school, but you know what? I'm willing to do it because that's how bad I want to be a nurse! So I applied to the evening/weekend program as well. My husband and I had a talk, and he is willing to help out more with the kids while I'm in school. He's actually the one worried about me not spending much time with him and the kids, but there will be holidays, spring break, etc. off, so it shouldn't be that bad.

Just apply yourself while in school, and try your best! As long as you have the support from you family, you'll be just fine. Good luck, and I'll say a prayer for you!

Erikadawn RN · Mar 18, 2009

I went back to nursing school with 6 children, I drove to another state 90 minutes away, To get to school, my husband worked 2 jobs to pay the bills. Its hard but I made it, all the struggle was worthwile. we like to coddle our children, but I sat my kids down and explained that things would be tough. Kids cope with alot of things they can adjust. Now I am out of school and my husbgand is laid off i pick up extra shifts and now we are fine. If I had not went to nursing school we would be struggling, but we are fine. Go for it, My father told me once when I was complaining about how hard school was, "if it was easy then everybody would be a nurse".

mama_d, BSN, RN · Mar 18, 2009

When I started LPN school, our son was six weeks old and my step-son (who lived with us six days a week) was two years old. I would see them sometimes for thirty minutes a day, between school and work. It sucked, but it put me in a position to have a career so that I could provide for them.

Not being able to spend time with your kids is awful. I certainly won't argue that, there were some days when I cried in the car b/c I was so stressed and do depressed about not being able to be with them. But it had to be done, and was better for them in the long run...now I make enough to support our family with one job; if I wasn't a nurse, I'd be holding down two or three and seeing them a lot less often with no end in sight.

If they are old enough to understand, sit them down, explain to them what's going on, the sacrifices that will have to be made, and that although it will seem like forever while you're doing it, it's going to get better. Unfortunately there's no easy way around dealing with work, family, and school all at the same time. I've said for years now that being a grown-up sucks as I try to do it.

Vtachy1 · Mar 18, 2009

If there is a market in your area, sell your house, your kids are too important and you only get one chance to be their mom, I don't know about you, but I don't want to blow it.

kayty2339 · Mar 19, 2009

Thank you everybody for all of your thoughtful replies...it's good to know I'm not alone in this and atleast on allnurses you all understand my desire to be a nurse. I don't think a lot of people in my life (besides my husband) really understand why I want this so bad. My kids are really young, son is 4 and daughter is 1. I know I will have to make sacrifices, but today when I was thinking about doing the night/weekend program and still working full time 8-5 mon-fri, it really made me feel depressed. I know if I attempted that, I would be so depressed from missing my kids that I might end up not doing well in the program. My husband and I talked today and we decided that he's going to try to get a second job as and EMT or tech at the hospital working 36 hrs a week. If he doesn't find a job, I'm going to continue to take classes that will go toward the AA degree for pre-nursing and if anything else, I will at least have those classes taken care of in order to get a BSN eventually. If he does find a job, I will be able to go ahead and start the program when it's offered to me and work a part time job. I know that the hospitals here will hire you on as a patient tech/nurse intern after the 1st semester of school, so maybe that door will open for me. I've decided to just let it go and not worry so much about it and if it's meant to be for me to go into the program this fall or next spring it will be possible and if not, maybe I'm not supposed to go in right now. I just have to let go and trust God that he will open these doors if it's meant to be.

THank you all again for all of your support. :heartbeat