I want to become a nurse but my husband says I will be always sick and unhappy

[kgoesbacktocollege]

So, I am 30 years old. I have been thinking about becoming a nurse for a long time but haven't done it yet. I have a first degree oversees not related to medicine and right now I work with my husband in our business but I am considering a career as nurse. My husband strongly against it. He tells me that I always will be sick with all kind of illnesses and I think he tries to protect both of us from it. We only been sick once in four years that we live together with cold that I caught from a customer. But my husband haven't been sick for over 10 years and he is very cautious to the point that he doesn't shake hands and he use napkins to open doors (that's an example how cautious he is). He also tells me that I am not gonna be happy, that all nurses are miserable.

How often do you get sick and do your spouses become ill too?

We are very intimate so whatever I will have he will get too instantly.

[marienm, RN, CCRN]

I work in a unit where deadly infections sometimes occur (like resistant pseudomonas) and I still get sick less than I did when I worked with healthy college students in an academic support job. At work, I wash/gel my hands between patients (so, at least 10 times an hour on some days) but I don't take any special pains at home. My husband has some chronic illnesses but it hasn't gotten worse since I became a nurse.

When I became a nurse, my starting salary was more than we both had been making before (granted, we worked in not-for-profit arts jobs). On the other hand, I work 3 12's in a row and come home tired...sleep...and go right back to work. We see less of each other than we used to. Working as a nurse probably will change your daily pattern of life together. Only the two of you can decide if you want that. (I mean, *you* should be in charge if what *you* want to do, but I realize it will have an effect on others in your life.)

[DowntheRiver]

I don't know guys, I smell a troll...

[kjb_lpn]

I have worked as a nurse for three years, and I have gotten sick on occasion. However, remember that many aspects of nursing do not require direct patient care.

I work from home as a care coordinator. I make a good wage with great benefits working for a major company. So don't give up on your dream!

[saskrn]

So, I am 30 years old. I have been thinking about becoming a nurse for a long time but haven't done it yet. I have a first degree oversees not related to medicine and right now I work with my husband in our business but I am considering a career as nurse. My husband strongly against it. He tells me that I always will be sick with all kind of illnesses and I think he tries to protect both of us from it. We only been sick once in four years that we live together with cold that I caught from a customer. But my husband haven't been sick for over 10 years and he is very cautious to the point that he doesn't shake hands and he use napkins to open doors (that's an example how cautious he is). He also tells me that I am not gonna be happy, that all nurses are miserable.

How often do you get sick and do your spouses become ill too?

We are very intimate so whatever I will have he will get too instantly.

In my experience, the exact opposite is true.

[osceteacher]

Yeah, sorry but you're husband is talking utter drivel and you should send him to this forum so we can put him in his place.

[MSNMPHPhdNMD]

I hate to say this but is he controlling in other aspects of your life? Does he want you to work in the business so he can keep you close? Now as for being sick Ive been in healthcare 22 years and i may get sick once or twice a year. It also sounds like he has a serious case of OCD. Ive gotten sick more often when i have had young children then working in healthcare. Either way If you really feel it calling you just be prepared to go through school alone. He will probably not support your dream,but if its your dream go for it.

[brownbook]

What is more concerning is your husbands total lack of support. Nursing school can be rough for many people, and either having minimal support at home, or having your family actively work against your goals makes it that much more challenging. I'd want to dig deeper into his concerns around illness and negativity towards health care.

This times a thousand. So your husband's needs, wants, (irrational) feelings and fears take precident over something you have been thinking about and considering for a while. He even thinks he can tell you how you will feel!

What you want to do is good for you and good for your family. A secure job, good pay, a back up job in case your business fails.

[direw0lf, BSN]

Everyone's body is gonna react different. I'm 22 and when I was in pediatric ED, I got the flu 2x in 3 weeks. That was with proper hand hygiene, wearing a mask, and receiving the flu vaccine as per policy. I chugged vitamin C drinks, popped multivitamins, and ate lettuce like a rabbit but I still got miserably sick. We had a flu epidemic.

However..that was pediatrics and it seems like I have a weaker immune system than others my age. Although I hadn't gotten sick once while working over a year as a PCT on a medical surgical unit, where we have had flu cases also.

And things you do after your shift are to change your sneakers once you are out of the hospital or at least before you step inside your home. You can also brush out your hair before you go inside. One of my nursing teachers told us when she had her baby she'd change all her clothes before she went inside. Maybe your husband would feel reassured knowing all these measures you can take. You can also tell him about all the different roles there are in the nursing profession. There is something for everyone who has a passion for nursing. Some nurses don't touch anyone sick, they do telehealth or work in management or primary care.

I can't say whether your husband is irrational or not based on just this. I mean, when I leave a bathroom I take a paper towel to open the door handle and in nursing school we are taught to turn off the faucet with a clean paper towel after we wash hands. I agree with others who said you need your husband's support for this because it is hard enough. Wish you the best.

[kgoesbacktocollege]

Yes, it is more than possibility. I think this is what is happening in reality. But I don't know what to do with it.

[kgoesbacktocollege]

If you're getting sick all the time as a nurse, you're not following the precautions you'll learn in nursing school. If you've been thinking about being a nurse for "a long time", you deserve to go for it! And I know a few nurses who are miserable, and a few in every job who are miserable- that's a ridiculous blanket statement. Is it possible that your husband has a fear of you moving in circles outside one that includes the both of you?

Yes, it is more than possibility. I think this is what is happening in reality. But I don't know what to do with it.

[kgoesbacktocollege]

verene is 100% correct, this is what's important. It could just be a misconception on my part but your husband does not seem like he is in favor on you returning to school. Or, is he in favor of you going back-just not going into nursing.

I think he is not in favor of me working or being away from him.

[kgoesbacktocollege]

I work in a unit where deadly infections sometimes occur (like resistant pseudomonas) and I still get sick less than I did when I worked with healthy college students in an academic support job. At work, I wash/gel my hands between patients (so, at least 10 times an hour on some days) but I don't take any special pains at home. My husband has some chronic illnesses but it hasn't gotten worse since I became a nurse.

When I became a nurse, my starting salary was more than we both had been making before (granted, we worked in not-for-profit arts jobs). On the other hand, I work 3 12's in a row and come home tired...sleep...and go right back to work. We see less of each other than we used to. Working as a nurse probably will change your daily pattern of life together. Only the two of you can decide if you want that. (I mean, *you* should be in charge if what *you* want to do, but I realize it will have an effect on others in your life.)

Thank you, I think that what scares my husband. He doesn't want things to be changed. He wants us to work together and not let me do go and work somewhere else.