I am victim of speaking for myself

[PRETTYODD]

I confronted one manager upon her rudeness and creating hostile environment for me. She started picking on me and collecting brownie points to show to people above her that I did such & such mistakes. The kind of mistakes I did were common ones while charting whcih even 15 yr old nurses do. Otherwise my charting is very detailed and sequential from head to toe. I never had problem with any patient, doctor or my peers but I was differnet that I spoke up for being treated like a piece of garbage.

The other manager above her knows me and she supports me completely. She transferred me to another place so I get out of the former manager's hostile environment but I am thinking why I had to pay such a big price for speaking infront of the nasty manager. Is the feeling of power makes people so evil and wicked ? Where is Nightingale and her nursing ideals and virtues ? down the drain or lost in this money minded world.

[whodatnurse]

What do you consider to be the 'high price'?

You reported to a difficult manager. You felt you had to stand up for yourself, so you did (although the wisdom of calling the person who signs your paycheck on 'rudeness' and 'creating a hostile environment' and hoping for a good outcome is questionable). You were extremely fortunate to have an advocate who got you out of that situation.

I know you're thinking why did YOU have to be the one to go...but given the likelihood that THAT was ever gonna happen...I think you should be celebrating...the outcome here could have been MUCH worse.

I hope your new position turns out well for you.

[nursel56]

"You're extremely lucky that your boss's boss is willing to find you a new job. We don't know the details of your situation, but the tone of your post is extremely angry and confrontational and I'm wondering about what started this whole business."

- It really twists my knickers when someone vents about an upsetting situation on this board and a poster infers that they come across as "arrogant, confrontational, etc", thus deserving of the situation they found themselves in. Geeze, leave the poor poster alone - of COURSE they are upset or they wouldn't have started the thread.

I would like to give them the benefit of the doubt that they were given a bum deal - I've spent over twenty years working with nurses and know that a lot of ugly and unprofessional conduct goes on behind the nursing station....but maybe that's a dirty little secret we should not bring out into the open.

You can rest assured that the topic of unprofessional conduct by nurses doesn't get much more out in the open anywhere than it does here. The concept of a "vent" is supported most by the experienced nurses. However, this person has already experienced negative consequences that might have been made worse for her without her really realizing it if her behavior in real life is like the tone of her post. She is certainly free to disregard anyone's comments, but the truth is it sounds as if she is doing things that are highly counter-productive in general when a manager is making the life of a subordinate miserable.

She is describing herself as a victim, she describes her own behavior as "confronting", makes global characterisations of the manager such as "mean" "evil" and "nasty" and compares her behavior to others when she is criticized. It's just about the worst thing you can do when you are being counseled to say or justify it by "yeah well that nurse did x and y" because no one cares at that point and you appear petulant.

If it were me, I would appreciate the constructive feedback-- probably not right away :) and I have gone over a supervisor's head myself when a working relationship I had with that person was dysfunctional beyond repair, so I do understand how tough it can be.

[AgentBeast, MSN, RN]

It has to go both ways, however. You HAVE to give both the accuser and the accused the benefit of the doubt, or in this case both the poster and the person they are posting about.

[PRETTYODD]

thanks whodatnurse . I think you understood my situation.

[dudette10, MSN, RN]

Please, PLEASE! How many times have we seen nurses vent about families, doctors, patients in extremely unflattering terms? Don't start with that "if her behavior in real life is like this" stuff! The majority here want to believe the worst of the OP's real life demeanor without taking into account that they themselves have said things in the exact same (or worse) tone.

This board never fails to confuse me.

[whodatnurse]

thanks whodatnurse . I think you understood my situation.

You're very welcome.