I don't think I want to be a nurse anymore.

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I have been an LPN for over 19 years. This past January I admitted to diverting narcotics and the BON agreed to a suspended license instead of revocation. Stipulation being I have to participate in TnPap. I have 180 days from when the order was signed to get started with TnPap. Being clean is not a problem. I have been clean since May 2012. Even had to take narcotics after horrible dental work with dry sockets but was so happy that I didn't have those old cravings and all. I abused for right at 3 months total. ANYWAY...enough back story. I do not know if I want to be a nurse anymore. I know I was kind of burned out anyway before this happened but I am really leaning towards putting my experience and education into going to school for medical transcription/coding, something that is more paperwork related. My fear is, I do not completely understand the Affordable care act and the OIG list and so forth. If I surrender my license without going through the TnPap (and the cost of monitoring is an issue) will I be placed on the list where I can't work in any facility that accepts federal funds? I am looking for input on ideas of what to do. There is so much cost involved in the monitoring to keep my license and then the ordeal of trying to find a job that will hire me that falls in line with the TnPap guidelines. At this point, I am okay with not being a nurse anymore but I do not want to shoot myself in the foot from working in another area.

Honestly, regardless of whether or not you are clean and whether or not you want to continue working as a nurse or not, it would be wise to do the rehabilitation program. I don't want to be negative but drug addiction is so dangerous and it can be very easy to relapse. Why not just do the program and then you don't have to worry as much. In a way I feel like you are trying to take the easy way out and trying to avoid getting the help you need.

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spam link fixed, carry on...

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No advice, just best of luck to you. I hope things work out.

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dont do drugs kids

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I would complete the program.

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I think some of you may have misunderstood. I go to AA, there is no NA close by. I am not denying I had a problem. I am not attempting to downplay my problem by listing the amount of time I abused. That was strictly giving a little background. My questions where based along the line of....do I want to pay bookoo bucks out of pocket for three years to keep a license I do not even know if I want anymore. There is not more background to the story. I am not using now, nor even in the last year. The cravings where simply mentioned as a reference to being proud that after a horrible dental experience and taking two weeks of narcs, I had no issues with cravings after the treatment/pain was over.

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Specializes in Gerontology RN-BC and FNP MSN student.

I wonder if this is when you got caught and you have manipulated other situations over your 18 years of nursing. I find it hard to believe your an addict for just three months.

Some accountability would be the best advice, along with working the steps of a recovery program.

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I abused for literally three months. January to April of 2012. I am not trying to dodge the issue, apparently I am not able to clearly communicate my questions. I am not here for people to continue to accuse me of abuse, manipulation of the system or any circumstance. I was wrong, I did wrong, and I am working at being a better person now. I go to my meetings (not required yet) but I started them on my own. I am not trying to dodge treatment, I am okay with that. I just simply do not know if it is worth spending all the money for the next three years on testing and all if I don't even know if I want to be a nurse in the end. I do not have a problem going to meetings, admitting I have a problem and so forth. If I surrender my nursing license will that bar me from getting a degree in medical transcription or something of the sort that is more paper based, I am GREAT with paperwork. Yes, addicts lie. However, it seems instead of support of others that are asking it, people are quicker to judge. Thank you everyone that gave helpful input.

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Specializes in CRNA, Finally retired.

As long as you are prepared to never make as much money as you make now, walk away. But know that you may never be able to come back without hiring an attorney to get your license back. The previous poster who warned you about coding jobs going abroad - listen to that person. The last four radiologists to get privileges in my community hospital live in India. They have excellent educations; they are in the middle of the day while we are sleeping here. Doing urines for a couple of years can keep you out of poverty for the rest of your life. Recovery gives you a chance to sort out what the real issues are that kept you so unhappy that you turned to narcs. Maybe you'll realize that other life issues were affecting your work. Or maybe you'll discover that nursing is just all wrong for you. You need a dose of Tincture of Time.

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Justasweety I totally get what you are saying!!! I had an opiate addiction also. I got myself help when I started seriously considering suicide as I could not live that life anymore and I really didn't know if there was a way out. Luckily I chose the right path. Anyways, I was confronted 2 months after I got sober for diverting. I do not deny what I did. And contrary to what other people may believe I DID NOT withhold from my patients and NEVER did any patient harm. My license is currently fine, although I am not allowed to use it at the moment. I am seriously questioning going through with this program. I NEVER want to pass meds again. I just don't think I should have my "enemy" in my face everyday. I LOVED my job, I did L&D for 8 years. I would like to get into lactation consulting now. I'm just not sure I want to surrender my license but I'm also not sure I want to continue (or can afford to) the program. I don't know what to do.

So know that there IS someone who understands and is in the same boat. Don't listen to any crap. Remember that your will keeps you clean!

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Don't loose your license. You may need it one day. Jobs are scarce these days and you may need it.

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Specializes in Public Health Nurse.

To the OP, I am sorry you went through that. I read clearly where you admitted wrong doing and accepted responsibility, the first steps to winning the war.

Being a new graduate I never knew that such programs cost money; makes sense now that I think about it. So not knowing your financial situation I can tell you that if you can afford it - do it. As someone said one never knows what life has ahead, and sometimes it brings us to the beginning; especially if you are very young and with lots of years ahead of you. If it means that you cannot pay bills or make you homeless - sorry if I am being drastic here, then do not.

Have you considered being a medical assistant? Some places all they really want is someone that can take vitals, EKGs and good at taking blood, and with your LPN experience this can be good. Or how about a bookeeper at checkout in a medical office? Not sure if they pay is comparable to before, but the stress level you were under is also low.

Hey, I worked in an ophthalmology office, they would take anyone with a pulse and train them. You can become one, then get your certifications on your own and go to a place like the VA or an eye institute that pays better.

Surrendering a big hug to you that it all works out in the best way for you, and congratulations for being free of drugs.

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