I think I regret choosing nursing

[nsFAMU]

I think I'm starting to regret going into nursing as are most of my nurse friends. I graduated 12/05 and went right into ER on nights. I was terrified when I realized that not only did I have to be a nurse but I had to to follow a million rules and regulations, catch the doctors mistakes, and deal with rude patients and coworkers while staying pleasant. I used to hate giving report to the floor nurses because they were always so rude, I don't understand why there has to be such a war between the ER and the floors. It was overwhelming but it was okay, I knew it would get better and I loved it.

A yr later I did 2 travel assignments in ER. The second was pure hell. I only got along with the secretary, techs, some other travelers and the doctors. Praying everyday before I went in is the only thing that got me through it. The manager even came to me once and asked why I gave a med because it was ordered in the patients chart but it wasnt in the doctors notes! What do I have to do with the doctor's notes, I just followed the order that he personally handed to me and even told me what he had written. They ended my assignment early and I was so happy, but I was done with ER. I had worked my *** off hardly ever getting a dinner break, holding my pee all night and they had the nerve to treat me like that!

I switched to NICU but then I had the problem where one person says do it this way and the other says do it that way and there is no policy. That was frustrating being that I was new to NICU but most of the nurses were great and helpful. Working nights was driving me nuts too but everytime I wanted to go to days someone else with seniority all of a sudden wanted to go too. I just quit that job 10/09 to move from FL to NV and I'm miserable because I feel like I trapped myself once again. People are nice so but now I have to prove myself to another group of catty backstabbing women. I'm so nervous and anxious I always get a stomach ache before I go in. Everyday I wish I would have listened to my aunt done pharmacy. I'm also still on nights and it has only gotten harder over the years but then again I know dayshift has its own drama. It gets depressing being up all night by yourself and being tired when you're trying to be up during the day. I love the babies but it feels like all I do is go to work and try not to kill my patients, try not to loose my license, try not to get sued, try not to make my coworkers think I don't know what I'm doing, try not to give the next shift something to ***** about.....how can I enjoy that? Maybe I just need to find something outside of the hospital with normal hours.

Thanks for listening to my venting!

[tthor5220]

Much agreement and sympathy on your situation. I have been in nursing 15 years. If I had not been so bad at math (!) I too would have opted for pharmacist. Hindsight is ALWAYS 20/20! Now I am waaayy too old to start on a new career. Job hopping has become my nemesis. Fortunately, the new jobs keep coming, but this is no long term solution. In some ways I would like to ask you if YOU come up with any career solutions, please post away or mail me direct! Good luck to you. (And me. And all of us!)

[Jules A, MSN]

I can't imagine the stress of going right into ED as a new grad but I have to disagree with all the posts about how miserable nursing is everywhere. I'm not miserable. My teams are excellent. We aren't perfect and some days are not all peachy but nothing as horrible as I have seen posted in this forum. My advice for someone that finds it that bad is to find another job or profession. There are those of us that enjoy going to work.

[RedhairedNurse, BSN, RN]

Amen to the above post. I love my job. I work with a great group of 'catty' women, I love em! With the exception of only a couple that are crank boxes. You are not going to find a perfect job anywhere! There is always going to be something that doesn't please you, life is not perfect and if it were, it'd probably be pretty boring. Sounds like you need to look on the bright side and start thinking a little more positive. You should read some of Zig Ziglar books, he is a great author and can change your thinking. Be thankful for your health, that you have a job, that you are fortunate enough to have the priveledge to make a difference in these people's lives, it goes on and on and on. Life is a gift and we need to thank God that we're not on the street corner with a sign that says "will work for food."

[dragonflydani]

I agree that the medical profession can be a catty place, but I always try to remember I'm there for my patients, not for the other people I work with. It's really hard when you go in and all you hear is your co-workers complaining about EVERYTHING. Sometimes I wonder if these people are just miserable. I know it's a high stress job, and most nurses are really underpaid, but come on! In the grand scheme of the world we are all doing really well! I mean, HALF of the total world population do not have refrigeration or indoor plumbing.

I think sometimes we just are too hard on ourselves and the people around us. I try to just remain positive and try to be a positive influence to these people.

Goodluck, and I hope you can keep your head up! There's lots of people out there that need you!

[BluegrassRN]

I want to encourage you to look for a less stressful position, perhaps at a smaller facility? Maybe you could work healthy baby nursery instead of NICU, or a smaller hospital, instead of a larger, less personal one?

I have been a nurse for 10 years, and I love it. I work with great people. Sure, not everyone is on their A game all the time, and there is some cattiness occasionally, particularly when we're all stressed out. In general, though, everyone I work with is respectful and has a great sense of humor. Teamwork is the norm.

I also want to respectfully suggest that you take a good look at your own personal health. Do you feel that maybe some of your problems could be self-generated? Could you have some anxiety and/or depression that is exacerbated by a stressful working environment? I'm not suggesting that everything is your fault; I simply think it's always a good idea to really look hard at oneself as well as one's environment, to evaluate strengths and weaknesses. Something in the tone of your post made me think that you might have some anxiety and/or depression issues. I could, of course, be totally wrong, since I am basing this off of one single venting post. And having anxiety and depression doesn't mean you have to go on medication (though there is certainly nothing wrong with being on antidepressants and antianxiety meds, if you need them). Rest, exercise, good eating habits all can make or break some of us. If I didn't get enough exercise and eat well, I'm 100% positive I would have to be on anti-depressants. Depression runs in my family, and I can see signs of it in myself, particularly during stressful times in my life. So far I have been able to adequately control it with diet and exercise.

I hope you can find some fulfillment, whatever you decide to do.

[Kitty Hawk, ADN, RN]

I disagree that you just "have" to put up with a stressful/catty environment too.

Granted I'm new to nursing but not new to cattiness. I have seen some backstabbing in my previous profession and I've had some really good "team" experiences there as well. It was actually the clients that drove me out of my previous career as well as the big business policies.

That's why I knew pretty much from the get-go, even if I got into a hospital if the cattiness didn't get to me, the corporation I worked for surely would. I don't know of anyone seriously in any of my major hospital systems that are as happy to go to work as I am. I have a friend that went from being eaten alive on a step down (I precepted there and there wasn't enough money in the world to make up for that toxic work environment the nurses were downright horrible, and negativity breeds negativity for many... so yeah, many had that mob mentality) to an ER and she still just "gets by".

I know I'm in the minority b/c I found a great LTC/SNF. There is no cattiness. The nurses from all 3 floors actually lunch together, there is none of the ridiculous clicks that I have seen. Perhaps it's b/c it's a faith based organization perhaps it's b/c we are treated as we are humans and individuals not numbers. I just started and am able to even have vacation time in July that they will work with me on.

We have an extremely generous vacation/benefit package. I think that's important to work for a place that understands that one needs to recharge and have a break. I know that's a huge issue in the hospital, that people can't get time off or have to fight for the days. Not in any of the places that I've worked did I have that kind of time. My last place, I worked for 9 years and only got 10 days off plus 5 personal/sick that were combined. You could buy an extra week of vacation though but really? And for what we made, who could afford it? My company gives 8 sick days plus 3 personal and they will pay at the end of the year for any unused sick or vacation time. Perhaps that's why people seem to be just as happy when then they're there. I work to live, I don't live to work, but I want to be happy going in to work and not feel a dread. I know what it's like to cry in a car b/c I didn't want to walk in the door, and never again. I don't feel the need to pay those kinds of dues even to supposedly earn my stripes b/c I'm new. It's no excuse for people to be nasty to another.

You only have to look at a majority of threads here to see how unhappy many are, but like most things in life that's a choice.

Bottom line is there are some really rewarding places to work out there. I thought that maybe I'd be missing something in skills and that I'd want to get into an acute setting. But even when I thought that, I knew the longest I'd last in a hospital setting is 5 years b/c of the aforementioned. I didn't get into this for the money either as some posters, but it's a nice bonus that they pay as much as the hospitals around here.

I got into this field b/c I want to make a difference. Feel good when I go home. I have that and more. I feel honored to be caring for the greatest generation. I have something that you can't put a price on, and that's the peace of mind that I work with a great group of people I'm proud to call team mates and that I have a name and that I matter. You get human dignity you give human diginity, it's great to work for a place that understands that simple basic principle.

[floridaRN13]

Your experiences sound rough. Hopefully, you have acquired some good clinical skills enroute.I agree with nursej22, that not all nursing environments are like the ones you have experienced so far. Not all hospitals require nurses to work night shift, just because they are new to the hospital. Working nights may be playing a big part in the difficulty of your nursing career. I know personally I could physically not work nights. I was a new nurse just 6 years ago and was told by a rural hospital that all nurses must start med-surg, night shift. Their sister hospital less than 30 miles down the road had no such rule, and I ended up starting there, on days, and it turned out to be a really good work environment. A few years later I moved back to FL, and was able to secure a day shift in a women's unit (different specialty for me), also a good experience. So I encourage you not to give up.

[gentle]

Hi there

I do agree with the poster who said you were burning out. You started out in ER, which is stressful, then chose to travel, then went to a NICU.

This is the time to ask yourself what you want to do with your life, not just your career.

We are talking about your life now. Your quality of life stinks from what you are describing soooo it's definitely time for change.

Here is what I am currently doing to improve my own quality of life.

I do work in an interesting environment. (floating without rotating among all staff members: people who blatantly lie to your face: crazy phusicians who don't assess their patients and don't know how to assess neurological patients: these are the good things and the list goes on) Soo you get the idea . . .

I am offering all these suggestions as things that I have tried at different times and have found to work for me. All these suggestions come from my backpack of pain that God has used to help me love myself and others. ***hugs and thank you for being willing to join me in the field of nursing***

I have chosen to take classes so that I can be out of here in the next 3 months. I know approximately how much money I need to make to provide for my family and even if I don't make that amount we need, we will just have to do without. I can't risk putting myself or my family in jeopardy because my emotions are whacked from a toxic work environment.

When at work, I try to stay very pleasant to everyone. I take treats, give hugs to other employees (I'm a hugger) and greet everyone with a smile. Not because I have to, it's because this is who I am.

I don't care what other people are like, I am going to be me and not get caught up in their ugliness. I am too dang old and have been in nursing too long to worry about anything other than my family and my own character.

Soooo, don't do anything but take care of yourself on your days off. And I do mean don't do anything. For example, cleaning your house if fine. Taking care of your children if you have kids is fine. Doing their homework is fine too. However, spend extra money on taking the family out to eat so that you're not cooking everyday.

Go see a therapist so that you can have another place to vent safely. I have done this many times over and it works wonders for me. Best money, I have ever spent in my life. I will continue to use this route for the rest of my life also. Those people are there to help others so take therapists up on the opportunity and give them the dang money for the listening ear.

Excersise . . . can't stress this one enough. We adopted a furry person into our family. Best thing we could have ever done. Guess, what since she is a medium sized dog, we have to walk her - everyday. She gives loves, kisses, and enjoys playing tug a war, and fetch. My kids love her, my husband loves her, and she loves our family.

Have you had your pedicure and manicure recently? Pull out your wallet. It is time!!!!! Let someone massage your feet and help you relax.

Are you having situational depression or do you have clinical depression? Do you need to see a physician for antidepressants? If so, get in to see the doctor. I do have textbook depression. And it is pretty bad sometimes even with the medication. I also have a bit of ptsd, etc.

Are you working in these environments because you feel you need the money? Well, money can't buy happiness and if you only focus on paying the bills instead of balance in your soul, you're not going to have an easy time of existence. For this, get out the pen and paper and write out your five year plan. I re-evaluate every year in January what I'm doing with my life, what my goals are for the children etc. Now granted this was easier when I was only working part-time but I will be doing this again, none-the less.

How are you doing with God? Do you have a spiritual component to your life? This is very important for everyone. Heck even science has documented this in articles. Soooo, I always have my personal recommendation which is God, Jesus, and the Holy Spirit. You can pm me, I am always glad to gently share and not whack with a Bible under any circumstances. However, I do recognize that not everyone chooses this route. Either way, you will need peace for your soul, my friend.

I know my post may seem like over-kill; however, for myself, I need balance of mind, body, and soul. When I am in this place, I am able to evaluate my situation more clearly and move from there. I hope this helps and I do wish you well.

[BigBee48]

I totally agree with Redhairednurse completely, for whatever reason it seems

harder to work with women than men. You have to sometimes "fake it" because it is a job, not your life. Please don't leave nursing, it is impairative

you find something positive and fun on your off time. Remember you only have to be 100% happy with yourself, there will always be someone to put you down, or talk about you, or even make you feel like they are doing that. I have worked in several professions, they are everywhere!! Good Luck

[tango.in.paris]

Sounds like you are a high-achiever, which is fantastic for yourself and your patients and you should never change, but it does mean you could be prone to over-thinking situations, second guessing yourself, making sure you dot your i's and cross your t's because you want everything you do to be the best it can be, working just that bit harder, staying back to do that last bed pan ..... Its natural in all work environments to find people who do not get along, and others who just are mean because they can be. Lord knows it makes life difficult and you are left scratching your head asking why do people behave like this; surely its better to work as a team; support rather than scold, but it sems to be easier to jump on the b*tching bandwagong than be helpful or friendly. I would ask yourself if this is the job you really, really want to do for the rest of your life. If yes then I guess you just have to stick it out and become more tough, otherwise make a switch. You are never too old to start something new. Take heart, you are not alone!