So here it goes.... I was a doula in a birthing center for 6 yrs, labor and delivery was my passion... my calling. I went to nursing school only because I wanted to be a L&D nurse. (I do not like anything not pertaining to mommy/baby). I graduated from school and worked for the state as an RN until I finally landed a RN position in L&D and began my internship program May 1st. This position that I landed is at the largest L&D in the entire NATION. We deliver average - 80 babies per day, if that gives you any idea. To work in L&D you have to work LDR, LH, OR as a circulator and in recovery. So here we are into July. I have come home crying more than not, I have gone to work crying more than not. I am lost. This was nothing like I thought it was going to be. It is like hearding cattle, get 'em in, get 'em delivered and get 'em upstairs so we can fill this empty bed with another warm body. This is nothing like the experiences of working at a birthing center and I have no hospital experience so I am like a new nurse. I had to start from the bottom up building my skills - learning every thing from IV's and injections all the way up. I am having diffilculty in several areas - time management, prioritizing and accepting all of these interventions that I feel so conflicted about. I am expected to be off orientation in 2 more weeks. I know I will not be ready. I walk in to work every day praying for 2 things - that I will not have a delivery and that I will not have a IUFD. I hate births at this point, everything about this "miracle" has been tainted by my experiences since coming to work at this hospital. It is very fast paced, full of interventions, and you have no time to "bond with or labor" your patients.
So.... I feel like my world is falling apart. This was the only reason I became a nurse at all....
Should I try to transfer to HRP or one of the post partum units? Is it like this at all of the hospitals or just this one????
I can not belive this has happend.... I am lost, fearful, disappointed... in myself and this experience. Please.... any advice?????
Thank you SO much for sharing this. I am a huge birth advocate/lover of all things baby and have been hoping to avoid OB like the plague, even though its probably the only area where I could ever truly feel passionate, because of the very issues you have discussed. I am still a student, but reading your posts, and seeing your positive outcome, reminds me that just maybe there IS a chance at a good outcome in all of this.
I read your story. Since 1991 I have worked in a rural hospital with an average of 20 to 25 deliveries a month currently. We have an ob-gyn and midwife who work together and one family practice ob. We are able to give one on one care and follow a mom from "triage" to home with her baby. It is a great experience for most of these moms, and I feel fortunate to participate in their birth experience. Sometimes politics in a small hospital get me down, but the moms and babes more than make up for it.:heartbeat Keep going, keep learning, keep watching for new opportunities.
When I had 6 years of pediatric experience I transferred to labor and delivery and got 4 months orientation. That was a small hospital where if they needed anything besides pit or mag they mostly got shipped. We had an epidural less than once a month (excluding sections). One month for a new grad sounds really hateful. I think if you haven't totally washed out because of the intensity you are a stronger nurse than most. Whether you decide to stay is another question.
elanddeenrs
38 Posts
So glad to hear you found your fit and you're now happy!