I am so stupid!!!!!!!
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Hello everybody...I've been on the student forum and I found it to be very helpful, so I thought I would come here for some advice..
I just graduated on May 11th and took my Nclex on June 13th and passed..praise the lord! I thought that all my anxiety and fear would be gone once that was over, but I've found myslef equally fearful of my future...Let me explain....
I was hired at a facility that deals with behavioral issues for adolescents. I was totally excited because behavioral health is my passion. When I was hired on, they thought it would be a great idea for me to do some time in Med Surg...I hate Med Surg...I actually hate any sort of nursing that has to do with sick people or hurt people. It's just not me. I have no passion for it, no love for it whatsoever...it really is my worse nightmare. I would rather flip burgers than do any of that, but in order for me to get the job where I really wanted I agreed to it...
I guess my biggest issue is the fear I face. I feel like, even though I graduated from nursing school, that I am a complete idiot. I didn't have a whole lot of practice in clinicals and still haven't been able to do the simple things like IV's, cathters, etc. I'm so afraid that I will get on that med surg floor and my incompetience will shine brighter than the sun. I tend to feel really uneasy in new situations and during those times I completely lose focus and start acting like an idiot....I'm afraid people will think I'm dumb, I'm afraid I will give the wrong med and look stupid, I'm afraid to talk to doctors, ...I could go on and on about the things I'm fearful of...
I guess I'm writing to find out if there is anybody out there who struggled with the same things I'm going through right now? Anybody who felt like they didn't know a thing about nursing even though they graduated? I would like to know how you overcame it...how did you find the courage to even walk through the front door of the hospital?
Thanks in advance...