I messed up, terribly. I failed out of my CA CC nursing program and I'm devastated.

[Throwaway3472]

I received the news today that after my second failure I'm officially kicked out of my nursing program. 2.5 years of my life, completely gone to waste. Two traumatic family situations and the several mental conditions, debilitating and untreated ADHD and social anxiety, that I stupidly didn't seek help for were what made school 10x more difficult for me and what ultimately led me to fail. I failed the same course again, Med-Surg, both times for similar reasons. The first time taking it one of my parents unexpectedly was hospitalized which took a great mental toll on me. Despite putting my all into the second exam and final, it still wasn't enough to put me into a passing grade. My second time retaking the course, being this semester, I came into the course ready to start again, I absolutely did not want to fail again. However, a very close family member unexpectedly passed away during my retake of the course and this affected me and my whole family even worse than my parent's hospitalization from the semester before. This was my first real time dealing with a family member's death and I took it hard. The timing of this couldn't have came at a worse time, but I pushed through until the end and took my final the other day. Sadly, I didn't pass, I was 5 points away from passing, thus leading me to fail the course again and me being forced out of my program as we are only allowed one retake of a course and if we fail again we cannot return to the program. 

My family and friends were my biggest supporters and cheerleaders during my nursing school journey and now I don't have the heart to tell them that this is the end for me, I'm not graduating in December or anytime soon. 

I worked SO hard in my prerequisite courses and received straight A's because I knew just how competitive community college nursing programs are here in California and I was thankfully accepted into 3 different programs. Nursing school was always a bit of a struggle for me, but I did decent my first 2 semesters earning all B's. This ONE class absolutely ruined me, and for some reason always brought along unexpected tragedies into my life. 

Right now I just feel so guilty and devastated about my future. I want to continue my lifelong dream of being a nurse, I know that without a doubt in my mind. But now that I've failed out of a nursing program I've heard that this blacklists me from even being considered for other programs. 

Right now I'm REALLY considering starting at West Coast University (WCU) as I know they'll accept me even with this failure, but the tuition cost is daunting and I, or my family are in no position to be paying for it, I would essentially be paying for the tuition entirely with student loans. Me and my family live paycheck to paycheck so I'd have no choice. 

I'm also considering applying one more time, this fall, for CC nursing programs. I want to still utilize my 4.0 science GPA as from what I've seen some programs have a 5 year recency for them. I hate how I would have to study again for the TEAS test, but I will give it my all. I got 87.5% on the last version and that's what got me into my programs the first time. 

Has anyone dealt with failure like this with being kicked out of their nursing program before? Specifically a CA program (LA area to be exact), and were then able to be accepted into a new one? Any advice or words in general would be greatly appreciated. 

[windsurfer8, BSN, RN]

If your mental state is so compromised that you couldn't make it though nursing school what makes you think you could provide good care to patients?  You can perceive it how you want, but it probably saved you from a career that wouldn't work.  The stress of direct patient care is 10X's nursing school.  Look for a career that is a better fit for your anxiety levels.  It isn't a bad thing, but if you screw up in real nursing you are going to get fired and can be sued.  No one in court is going to care if you were tired or stressed.  I would take it as a learning experience and find a good fit. 

[banbhat]

Message me anytime. I am in that same boat. Failed out...TWICE. ADHD, divorce, coparenting, sister committed suicide, and a full-time job. I had no business trying to hold on. And as I turn 48 today I still have to keep going. My dream hasn't died, it just got a year older. I get to see two cohorts become nurses. Starting in January, I get to start all over and do 4 semesters. 

I'm not going to be dismissive and say "if I can do it so can you". Everyone is different. What I will say is if you get back up you will be one of the most headstrong, grizzled, combat-ready nurses you know. You'll hold that license and cherish that you fought like hell to get it. I say this because I feel like I will too. When I originally started school I was already non-traditional at age 45.

 

So c'mon let's go be some bad-*** nurses! 

You in?

[brandy1017, ASN, RN]

banbhat said:

Message me anytime. I am in that same boat. Failed out...TWICE. ADHD, divorce, coparenting, sister committed suicide, and a full-time job. I had no business trying to hold on. And as I turn 48 today I still have to keep going. My dream hasn't died, it just got a year older. I get to see two cohorts become nurses. Starting in January, I get to start all over and do 4 semesters. 

I'm not going to be dismissive and say "if I can do it so can you". Everyone is different. What I will say is if you get back up you will be one of the most headstrong, grizzled, combat-ready nurses you know. You'll hold that license and cherish that you fought like hell to get it. I say this because I feel like I will too. When I originally started school I was already non-traditional at age 45.

 

So c'mon let's go be some bad-*** nurses! 

You in?

I'm sorry for your loss, may she rest in peace.  I just want to encourage you and the OP to consider other related medical degrees.  It doesn't have to be nothing but nursing.  There are other satisfying and well paying options out there like ultrasound tech or radiology tech that pay well and have better quality of life and working conditions than nursing.  So many people only see nursing as their dream, but the working conditions have worsened over the years due to rise of corporate healthcare and even more so since covid. 

I was a nurse for almost thirty years and if I had to do it again I would not, and I wouldn't recommend it now!  I took early retirement due to the terrible conditions and am living on a tiny pension and my savings.  I've lived with chronic back pain when I stand for even 5 minutes for years and now when I walk so I finally went to the Dr and to no one's surprise my L-spine is shot, mod-severe DJD L3-L5 and severe disc narrowing L5-S1 from all the back-breaking moving of patients over the years without lift equipment till the end of my career.  

One of the reasons I didn't look for another job was I couldn't stand and office, clinic or outpatient you do lots of standing.  I was always thankful that as soon as I sat down the pain went away, but since I wasn't an ortho nurse I didn't know this was a sign of lumbar stenosis.  I was prescribed meloxicam but told if I needed to take it daily then I need my kidney's checked every 3 months as it can obviously cause kidney damage as it's stronger than advil.  Oh and PT of course. 

I'm just thankful that I was fortunate that I wasn't in constant pain like many of my coworkers who needed epidurals and came to work slathered in Bengay.  My pain still goes away as soon as I sit down.   But now that I'm retired not being able to stand and walk without pain is limiting and interfering with enjoying simple things like traveling and taking a walk by the lake.  Hopefully the PT will work.  I recently spoke to a coworker who had similar issues and ended up needing spinal surgery for her lumbar stenosis and now is able to enjoy her life and be active and even take a hike!  I'm happy for her, but I hope I won't need surgery to do that.

[DreamingCRNA]

Yeah, this must be hard. But everything everyone has said is very true. Don't be discouraged and try again.

[Jurse, LPN]

banbhat said:

Message me anytime. I am in that same boat. Failed out...TWICE. ADHD, divorce, coparenting, sister committed suicide, and a full-time job. 

 

Sorry to hear this. It looks to me like we were in a similar boat. My ex-husband pulled a divorce on me.  Our kid was struggling to cope with her broken home. My sister's niece attempted suicide, and she did it again that sent her to ICU--She cut her femoral artery.  Our father was very ill and passed away around my graduation. Both of my father and niece were in the hospital. I showed my ex-husband nothing can stop me unless  I was laying on the bed of ER.  I dropped and picked up the kid at school and worked full-time too.  

[Jurse, LPN]

qshifts said:

Sorry to hear this. It looks to me like we were in a similar boat. My ex-husband pulled a divorce on me.  Our kid was struggling to cope with her broken home. My sister's niece attempted suicide, and she did it again that sent her to ICU--She cut her femoral artery.  Our father was very ill and passed away around my graduation. Both of my father and niece were in the hospital. I showed my ex-husband nothing can stop me unless  I was laying on the bed of ER.  I dropped and picked up the kid at school and worked full-time too.  

Correction, her daughter, my niece. 

[Ync]

I want to tell you that things happen for some reason, see the positivity out of the bad moment . You might not see it now, because of all the feeling. Just look forward. Your life don't end here. I wish you all the best. There are a lot of opportunities out there. I know how you are feeling. I was in your shoes before. Just look forward. ??

[Conqueror Slothful]

You did not fail the program because of ADHD or any other diagnosis. I know this because you got into the program in the first place and in order to do so you had to have been a really good student. So then, now that we know you are a good student, we can discredit the claim that ADHD and whatever else caused you to fail. You also lasted 5 semesters in your program, further reinforcing the idea that you are a good student. So then, be honest and quickly identify what the real problem was, fix it, and try again. What else are you going to spend your time doing thats more worthwhile? 

[londonflo]

Conqueror Slothful said:

I know this because you got into the program in the first place and in order to do so you had to have been a really good student. So then, now that we know you are a good student, we can discredit the claim that ADHD and whatever else caused you to fail. You also lasted 5 semesters in your program, further reinforcing the idea that you are a good student. So then, be honest and quickly identify what the real problem was, fix it, and try again. What else are you going to spend your time doing thats more worthwhile? 

The last semester combines all that you have learned previously and expects that you can handle new situations using the knowledge learned to that point. If a student was a good student with great grades for the previous semesters, we would not expect ANY to fail. No, it is a combination of new complex situations, pulling information from the past and combining it with new situations/information and that makes the semester so difficult. Please know that most nursing schools do lose a couple of students in their last semester as the information to be learned and employed becomes incrementally difficult. I wish you the best as you work through this situation. 

[Conqueror Slothful]

londonflo said:

The last semester combines all that you have learned previously and expects that you can handle new situations using the knowledge learned to that point. If a student was a good student with great grades for the previous semesters, we would not expect ANY to fail. No, it is a combination of new complex situations, pulling information from the past and combining it with new situations/information and that makes the semester so difficult. Please know that most nursing schools do lose a couple of students in their last semester as the information to be learned and employed becomes incrementally difficult. I wish you the best as you work through this situation. 

OK negative nancy. My 4th semester was more difficult than my 5th semester. I think youre speaking for yourself. 

[londonflo]

Conqueror Slothful said:

My 4th semester was more difficult than my 5th semester. 

I am speaking from the viewpoint of  usual curriculum development  to the OP.   . Name calling is never necessary in a professional discipline. Frankly I do not care about your 4th, 5th, 6th, semesters. I am speaking to the OP and others that echoed the experience. 

Your comments are hurtful to the OP. 

[nurSINGH]

Everyone has a unique journey. Try not to be discouraged. Failure happens in life. It is how you respond is what makes the difference.