I Just Can't Take It Anymore...Help!

Nurses Stress 101

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Specializes in Med/Surg, Tele, Dialysis, Hospice.

I think I have taken job hopping to a new level. I am an RN of 27 years who has had ten jobs in the past eight years, some for as briefly as a few months. Seriously. The longest I have stayed at any of them was 2.5 years and that was a job doing phone triage from home that I also came to hate. I can honestly say that I haven't liked any of these jobs; the responsibility of having people's lives in my hands, the emotional stress, the ridiculous workload (I had an acute dialysis position where I was sometimes required to work 20 hour days!) and feeling incompetent because I took several years off of nursing before jumping back into the pool eight years ago...and on and on and on. I am currently working at a hospice inpatient unit which I also don't like, although I am, and always have been, very kind to my patients and their families because I don't blame them that I hate what I do. My employers have all liked me and were unhappy when I quit, but I just couldn't stand what I was doing.

So here is the same old million dollar question: I feel like I can't go on anymore in nursing but I can't find anything else that I'm qualified to do that would pay even close to what I'm making now and provide benefits, and I don't have the option of working somewhere that pays much less because my husband is currently laid off and finding it hard to find a job due to his age. My job requires doing some laundry and dishes and these are actually my favorite part of the job because there's no stress and I don't have to be a nurse to do them.

Help! Am I stuck? I am getting really depressed and I don't know what to do. It is 7 am and I am already feeling depressed and anxious because I have to work tomorrow evening, not even today! I feel like I can't quit another job (and I really can't because of my husband not working) but I hate nursing so much that it is taking a huge toll on me in every way and making me difficult to live with.

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I don't know what to tell you honestly. You have invested so much time.

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I also don't know what to tell you.

(((Hugs))) and I do hope you find some peace.

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I was going to suggest that you resign yourself to sticking with nursing to earn a living, while at the same time exploring possible alternatives, until you are on better financial ground. Develop the other areas of your life to provide respite, satisfaction, and happiness. Find time to give to others, volunteer at church or with disabled children, etc. We find when we give of ourselves, we gain peace of mind. Turn toward your spiritual side to get through this. Be proactive in seeking another line of work. Get vocational counseling or take other steps to plan your next step. Once you start making efforts toward your new career, you may find it easier to put up with the present situation.

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I am sorry you are struggling but I want to thank you for your post. I could've written it. I too have a tremendous amount jobs in the past 10 years. I understand the washing of the dishes and doing the laundry, nursing making you difficult to live with and taking a huge toll on you. Like you, I never stay long for one reason or another..I realize I am the common denominator but I have also come to realize nursing has changed a LOT and the demands on nurses, the length of shifts, the overall expectations, are often times too much. Like you and many others on here, I just want out of nursing..but with no other education or skills the opportunities are limited - especially for the pay. I am not interested in living for a job, I never have been. Nursing was never a "calling" for me, but I did like it..but life dealt me some curve balls, as it does everyone, so I've changed and nursing/healthcare over all has changed to the point what interest/pleasure/pride I felt in being a nurse is gone. I live in a smallish community so opportunities are limited job hopping creates more issues than I think living in a larger city with more opportunities would. A few weeks ago, I left a low stress, boring, semi-flexible, no weekend/no holiday/no nights, ok paying job that I have been at since last spring to return to the hospital setting..solely because of more money..I went through orientation and one shift and I already know it's a mistake. This isn't a new job jitters kind of anxiety/depression reaction..I've worked hospitals in the past and am acutely aware of the stress that comes with a hospital position..this is a different knowing.. a visceral knowing that I will not last because the hours are not as promised, call is now expected and leadership is non-existent since the interview. While it's a 4 days week FT position, there is no schedule..you may work 8 hours or 18..you literally are told your day off for the week or the night or weekend you will be on call the day of. This is not what was discussed in the interview and yes, I asked. There is a lot of bait and switch in nursing now..at least what I have found and that has driven my anxiety/dislike for the profession even higher. Like you, I go back tomorrow and have been upset since Friday thinking about having to go back. Also like you, I do well at my job, never showing how I really feel and my employers are usually surprised I resign and ask me to stay on. Like you, I feel a certain pressure because of my spouse though our benefits are under him..but earlier today we went to lunch..while driving there my spouse asked me about the new position..I am NOT one to cry/show a lot of emotion but the simply act of him asking opened the flood gates. I was honest with him about the pressure I felt, how it was just not going to be a good fit, how yes, one CAN know almost immediately one way or the other and while my former job was not high paying, there was not pressure, bills did get paid and I wasn't an emotional mess, depressed to this point, irritable snit. Surprisingly he agreed and encouraged me to reach back out to my former employer....so..tonight I am contacting my former boss to request to return. I think they will be thrilled and agreeable. If so, unlike many on allnurses who think a magic year mark has to be hit before making a change, I will resign from the hospital, go back to my boring job and settle in as best I can for a while because the application and interview process for jobs has become a stressor in and of itself. The job hopping makes me feel ashamed and embarrassed but I also realize that I owe no one an explanation as to why I do not want to work 12+ hour shifts, work in a hospital, take call or anything else. Regardless of what my last 10 years of job hopping may outwardly indicate, I also know I have paid my dues in many ways to the nursing profession and all I owe is myself at this time is the opportunity to take care of myself and my family the best I can even if it isn't on the level some think I should be on. I know there are jobs with more money, and/or more prestige, etc but I just don't have it in me. I've had a gut full of healthcare and allllll that comes with it..burnout, compassion fatigue, whatever it's called.I hope you are able to find some relief, even if it's another job. I'm sorry you are going through this and feeling like you are but I KNOW EXACTLY what you are going through and i suspect we aren't the only ones on this board who have jumped ship more than once hoping for a better situation.

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Specializes in Wellness and Coaching for Women in their Third Act.
I think I have taken job hopping to a new level. I am an RN of 27 years who has had ten jobs in the past eight years, some for as briefly as a few months. Seriously. The longest I have stayed at any of them was 2.5 years and that was a job doing phone triage from home that I also came to hate. I can honestly say that I haven't liked any of these jobs; the responsibility of having people's lives in my hands, the emotional stress, the ridiculous workload (I had an acute dialysis position where I was sometimes required to work 20 hour days!) and feeling incompetent because I took several years off of nursing before jumping back into the pool eight years ago...and on and on and on. I am currently working at a hospice inpatient unit which I also don't like, although I am, and always have been, very kind to my patients and their families because I don't blame them that I hate what I do. My employers have all liked me and were unhappy when I quit, but I just couldn't stand what I was doing.

So here is the same old million dollar question: I feel like I can't go on anymore in nursing but I can't find anything else that I'm qualified to do that would pay even close to what I'm making now and provide benefits, and I don't have the option of working somewhere that pays much less because my husband is currently laid off and finding it hard to find a job due to his age. My job requires doing some laundry and dishes and these are actually my favorite part of the job because there's no stress and I don't have to be a nurse to do them.

Help! Am I stuck? I am getting really depressed and I don't know what to do. It is 7 am and I am already feeling depressed and anxious because I have to work tomorrow evening, not even today! I feel like I can't quit another job (and I really can't because of my husband not working) but I hate nursing so much that it is taking a huge toll on me in every way and making me difficult to live with.

What work in nursing have you done in the past that you really loved?

If you had a dream job, what would it look like?

What activities do you do that make you really happy?

Sometimes exploring the answers to questions like this can reveal a possible new direction for you.

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westieluv, I feel your pain--a lot. Please know that you are not alone in your feelings.

I don't know if this is within your finances, but have you considered consulting with a nursing career coach? Sometimes it's good to get the help of someone outside of your immediate or internal, emotional tsunami. A coach can help you get a different perspective, as well as give you suggestions on things you might like to do that you never considered before.

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Even though you are the common factor I don't think it is your fault. Perhaps you should evaluate what you really want from a job. Is it schedule tasks or something else.

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