Going into hour 16 or 17 of my shift tonight, the scrub tech and I were getting the patient cleaned up on the OR table before transferring back to ICU. We turned the patient away from me, I began to clean the pt up, the tech lost grip, the pt fell off the table towards said tech, who, thankfully, broke much of the fall. But the pt did fall. The intubated, sedated, helpless pt. Literally my worst nightmare. Anesthesia was present. Pt remained intubated and as stable as he/she had been throughout the case (it was tenuous), although we lost central access at that time.
I’ve been home for several hours now and cannot sleep, because every time I close my eyes I see what happened. I have to be back to work in a few hours, but cannot fathom trying to take care of patients when I know what I’ve done - the incompetence, the negligence, the physical harm I’ve caused. We literally had this pt’s life in our hands, and I failed him/her. It’s a special kind of incompetence where you literally drop a god damn helpless pt. I feel such shame. I was the nurse, it was my job to keep this pt safe. But I caused harm. For context, I’ve been a nurse for going in 10 years, from Med-surg to ICU, never an event like this.
I’m not looking for sympathy, I received plenty from the physicians involved. Just looking for validation of my feelings - that I no longer deserve to be a nurse.
I'm going to say it, and I mean it kindly: The self-deprecation is not appropriate.
It's really terrible. Don't do this to yourself, you don't deserve it and the things you are saying just aren't correct anyway. You are exhausted.
Everything's okay. You are okay too.
Get rest. ??
Totally agree with this. I work in quality. Mistakes happen and most of them have root causes that are not one person.
I'll also tell you what a conscious patient I dropped once said to me, "I need you to stop feeling sorry for yourself and get me off this floor." You've got to move on. Feeling sorry for yourself doesn't undo what happened. Do it the best way you can. Good luck!
Specializes in New Critical care NP, Critical care, Med-surg, LTC.
Maybe if you didn't care I might think you should reconsider being a nurse. But you do care, and it was a mistake. We all make them. And after 16 hours we're more likely to make them. It was also a team effort, you didn't single handedly lift and drop the patient. I hope you got some rest, took a deep breath and headed back to work. You belong there and will continue to do good things for your patients.
Specializes in Medical-Surgical Nurse, Community Health Nurse.
If you have hurt a patient, ask for God's forgiveness, forgive yourself, learn from your mistakes and move on with life. You can't roll back your past, you can only do something for the present time and for the future. You cannot undo what you have done.
When I was ten I had a major surgery in the hospital. Somewhere along the way I was dropped because I was black and blue down my whole right side when I woke up. The important thing is that the surgery was successful and I recovered. Today I am a nurse. *** happens. Life goes on.
Specializes in Medical-Surgical Nurse, Community Health Nurse.
Dear Sally Hushion,
Thank you for sharing your painful experience with me and other professionals.
I am terribly sorry of what happened to you when you were ten. I am so touched by such kind of experience in one way, and congratulate you that after all, you became a nurse.
Usually life is very unfair. I praise God that the surgery was successful. God had and has a plan for you. Wherever you go, you will meet bad and very bad people "I mean just evil people". Discriminations have always been part of my life too. Even now as you work as a nurse, some co-workers....nurses like you can hate you, discriminate you, gossip about you, and accuse you all evil things you never done. Well, that is part life, we have to accept things the way they are and move on with life. As you survived in the past, you will continue to survive. Some challenges are still ahead of you. Be strong, and even stronger. Stronger wind makes the kite fly higher and higher.
On one side of this world you will meet evil people who will challenge you and make you suffer. On the other side, you will meet good people too, who will love you, advise you and take care of you. Those are your brothers and sisters that God has prepared for you to balance your life and make you happy. I wish I can be among those, and take care of you too.
Focus on the positive side of nursing profession. Some nurse are so good like good angels. You will meet them wherever you go. At least, now you are a nurse and you can protect yourself, your family and friends and everybody from COVID-19 pandemic. You are very important to yourself, to many people, to the world, and to God.
You are great Sally! I do appreciate you. Forgive those who hurt you in the past, and move on proudly with life. At least you have a lifetime and noble profession.
I understand the need to seek support and validation, however, would strongly recommend that you not post this kind of thing anywhere in cyberspace. If there is a lawsuit or a nursing board investigation, you will be much harder to defend. Talk to a therapist for trauma counseling if necessary, but don't put this stuff on line.
Specializes in Medical-Surgical Nurse, Community Health Nurse.
Hi EdieBrous,
One of the key component of the Florence Nightingale pledge is to keep confidential every information related to the patient. What we discuss here, of for professional development and encouragement. We don't involve the name of the patient nor the hospital where our experiences took place.
As far as I am concerned, as long as we don't bridge the privacy of the patient, there is nothing wrong. Here, we are learning from one another. Some of us don't even put our real names. Your experiences may help me in my professional growth.
Of course, some degrees of confidentiality must imply too. If you killed a patient and you come to admit it and confess it here; while nobody knew it; then, you may go to jail, lose your license, and pay a lot of money. Once you admit a mistake, you have to admit also a punishment. So, honestly speaking, whatever we put on line can bounce back at us.
This is a matter of nursing ethics. You and I, and every nurse who publish something here, should do it for professional development, and should avoid implicating himself/herself.
We are a nursing family, and we have to learn from one another. We should even go beyond this, have some budget to help one another, when someone loses a job or has some financial problems maybe from lawsuit or malpractice.
I am not referring to ethical considerations, but to the real world of LEGAL ones. I am speaking as an attorney who represents nurses for a living. Removing patient identifiers is NOT considered acceptable by nursing boards and can still represent professional misconduct. And not identifying a patient or hospital name is not the protection you think it is.
There are a lot of ways to learn from each other but discussing patient situations and making statements against your own interest in a public forum is not the way to do it. Unless you are also an attorney who represents nurses, you should not tell people this is OK. IT IS NOT
Specializes in Medical-Surgical Nurse, Community Health Nurse.
Hi EdieBrous,
Thank you very much for your comments. As I said, this corner is like a nursing classroom for professional nurses where we learn from one other. Now, my colleagues and I, are learning from you. I cannot contradict you because you have authority in your discipline as A Nurse Attorney who represents nurses when they are in trouble. So, myself I learn also from you and I have to adjust my knowledge. I was almost going to relate also some of my experiences, but maybe I have to filter the information I put here.
Nursing is universal but different nations have their own ways of handling situation. I am now in Canada where soon I will be facing lawsuits, but I have practiced in Africa and Asia, where those lawsuits matters are rarely heard off.
Thank you very much. But I guess, as I learn from you; others may be doing the same. Please, give us guidelines on what we should discuss in this only professional development corner, so that we don't implicate ourselves.
I am terribly sorry because my understanding of nursing ethics related to confidentiality doesn't apply here or don't apply anymore in this new world new technology and COVID-19. I respect you as an authority in representing nurses, so, please guide us. What should be our limitations in putting our experiences here?
Maybe tomorrow you may represent me too, or represent Nurse SMS, or macawake, if we are not careful.
You are correct that other nurses are doing the same - I have represented some of them. BTW - congrats to you on having such a universal experience in nursing. You should write an article comparing your nursing experiences in different parts of the world. It would be very timely now that we are finally trying to diversify our workforce. Best, and stay healthy.
Given that this site's intention is to support and educate how would you propose we present a patient situation for input and improvement while at the same time protecting ourselves from potential discipline.
litepath2
69 Posts
If this happened to your best friend, RN, what would you say to them?