I am in my third semester of nursing school and, if I make it through this semester, I will only have one more to go until graduation. But, I HATE nursing school. I keep reading that being a nurse is not like nursing school and I leave my clinicals feeling intrigued, interested, challenged, and excited for being a nurse. Mainly, my issues are with how it is structured and how I simultaneously feel pressure to ask a million questions and shamed by/ hostility from professors for asking ¨stupid questions.¨
My school requires a 75 or higher to be considered passing in a class. If you do not get that, you fail the whole semester and have to repeat the class you failed with a 75 or higher before you can move on to the next semester. It also has a zero tolerance policy for late work (very understandable), drilled into us in the first and second semester about all of the things that would get us kicked out of the program (also important to know... but there are better ways to go about it), and expects us to always be prepared (also very understandable), and how they have the right to change our schedules (due dates etc) at any time for any reason. However, the professors are often unprepared, do not understand the instructions for their own assignments, give vague/ unclear directions with information that is half correct, often seem like they don´t really know what is going on, and/ or get defensive/ hostile/annoyed/ look at you like you are an idiot when you ask specific questions to clarify (because whether they told you or made it clear or not you are accountable for it... that is why I ask a lot of questions).
Also, and I am not trying to imply that class should be entertainment, but where is the sense of humor? Where is the attempt to make learning fun/inspiring/ even remotely engaging? I know we are going into a profession that requires a very high degree of professional communication, but we are all human and the medical field deals with life and death and uncomfortable situations on a daily basis... you have to laugh, or you´ll pull your hair out from stress, cry your eyes out, and/or get burned out. Further, all that therapeutic communication stuff that we have been learning about since first semester? Definitely not practiced in the academic setting. Basically, it just feels like there is perpetual disorganization, lack of respect for our time, dual standards of expectations, and zero sense of humor. And I am finding myself angry, already burnt out, frustrated, and perpetually exasperated.
Additionally (I swear I am almost done), I am in OB this semester. I am a female in my early 30´s, married, no kids, don´t want kids, think birth and pregnancy are gross, and find that people are continually trying to explain things in terms of what you do with your own kids/ with your own pregnancy. Also, for the ones who don´t have kids yet that are either younger or male, there is a definite assumption that they will and, I am quoting my professor here, ¨you should learn it now, so you know when you go through it.¨ What about those who have tried and are unable? What about those who are like me? Screw you for implying that I am less capable/less something because I don´t have kids and don´t want them (this has also happened a couple of times in clinicals and a few times in other classes... it is never overt, but the implications are clear).
So, what now? I am seriously considering quitting, but, as I and my husband have sunk a considerable amount into this already, I need to be 100% sure and have a plan of action before I bring it up with him. I decided to go into nursing school to make a career change from working in various roles in retail and food service and to join a career path that can actually make a difference for the better in the lives of others while still being able to pay the bills. I have a bachelor´s degree, but the degree is basically useless (it was a build your own major with an emphasis on English and creative writing, but I did a lot of work in Sociology and Biology... I took the long way around to graduate). I am very afraid that I have made a horrible, expensive life mistake.
