Several months ago, an inappropriately friendly and much older man, whose wife was critically ill, wanted to show me his houses on his tablet. Well you have to be polite so I looked at the picture of this vacation property and the other vacation property. Then he had a life size selfie of his member, no doubt induced by an ED drug, on the tablet and a big grin on his face. There were many things I would have liked to have said or done, but I said nothing and I walked out. Mainly because I was shocked and because I had too much going on to waste time on this creep.
For the rest of that shift, I completely avoided him or had helpers in the room. I did not take that assignment again. We assigned male nurses as much as possible.
His creepy attempts to be friendly continued for weeks. We all knew he used his tablet to "flash" myself and another nurse but for his wife's sake we did our best to tolerate him and be polite.
This situation was very political. The administration would have done nothing if I had reported it. Much later, it occurred to me that if this had happened elsewhere, it might be considered indecent exposure.
It bothers me that we let him get away with this because he could be doing this to staff at other facilities right now.
What would you do? Shrug it off? Notify security? Report it or write an incident report, ask administration to intervene and tell him he is not permitted to use electronic devices in patient care areas?
I guess that I am partially writing this to warn others that if a visitor wants to show you something on a tablet, you might see something that you really don't want to see and that it is hard to erase something like that from your brain.
Some people are going to think it's no big deal and that's fine. I really would like to know what you would have done if this had happened to you.
I probably would have done exactly what you did, and would be feeling exactly how you feel about it now.
It's tough, because his wife was your patient. I have a feeling that your non-reaction wasn't just due to the fact that you didn't want to cause a scene or say something that would get you in trouble, but also because you didn't want to humiliate your patient.
I would have an easier time dealing with my patient being inappropriate than if it was their spouse.
Don't feel bad. Not knowing how to react only means that you haven't yet grown accustomed to old men showing you their wieners.
"I am a nurse, and have seen it all, so not sure what the goal is here, however, put the tablet away."
You could still report this, it in fact you are thinking you may see these people again. If the tablet was on the facility wifi--which I am sure it perhaps was, IT can capture what was done on it.
Then I would leave it up to the case manager to disclose this to the receiving facility....who again, if it is on THEIR wifi, can capture the activity.
"we do not allow devices in this area" becomes the new rule for those who abuse the priviledge.
As someone said, hindsight is 20-20. So in the situation I would probably have said "This is completely inappropriate, and frankly pathetic and ridiculous. What exactly are you hoping to get out of this?" Then I would have reported it to the supervisor and to security.
But given the fact that I am not in the situation, I can afford to have 20-20 foresight and so I would call the police and file charges. Because I refuse to be sexually harassed by anyone, anywhere, at any time. And the fact that he did it to one of your coworkers as well shows that he is a habitual offender and deserves to get the message loud and clear. Where's Lorena Bobbitt when you need her?
icuRNmaggie, BSN, RN
1,970 Posts
Thanks, but I am quite proficient in Boston style self defense.