I feel like I'm a bad nurse

[pinkdoves, BSN]

I've been a nurse for a little more than 1 1/2 years and just feel awful. I notice parents are excited about other nurses being their nurse, but not about me. I feel like they're kind of disappointed when they get me. This AM, one of my patients said "I have the worst person today" when he saw me. It was a psych teenager, so I guess I should forgive it, but it made me feel really bad about myself and insecure. I fully understand not everyone is going to like me, but I feel like no one likes me.

I feel like I'm just not a good nurse no matter how much I try. I feel like I do so much behind the scenes but nothing I ever do will be enough or is recognized. I feel like nursing just has worn me out so much. Has anyone else felt this way? I've honestly hated nursing since I started (if you've been following my posts throughout this time maybe you've noticed LOL).

I'm just so confused. Is it a confidence issue? Am I just not as good as other nurses? My manager always says I'm great and people like me, but tbh he never sees me in patient care. I feel like half the things he says has no meaning bc of this. Is it normal to feel this way? 

[Emergent, RN]

Maybe you should see a counselor and talk about your feelings. It might be that you are amplifying things in your mind.

If you hate nursing you should find a better career, nursing is pretty brutal and not for everybody. Look at all the people who have to get on anti-anxiety medicine just to go to work. I'm so happy I retired from nursing.

[Davey Do]

11 hours ago, pinkdoves said:

Has anyone else felt this way? 

Usually only on the days that end in the letter y.

We are our own worse critics, pinkdoves, and generally after I blame others for my negativity, I turn my chronic neurotic malcontent feelings back upon myself.

That's one of the reasons I work a program of emotional recovery EVERY DAY. If I feel as you do, my favorite mantra is " My happiness is not a result of what others do or say, or what happens around me. My happiness is the result of me being at peace with myself".

It got easier as I got older, after decades of working a program, studying others' behaviors and getting a more realistic perspective.

Let's use the example of the female teenager psych patient: She has low self esteem without a higher consciousness who has a need to feel better about herself. Like most in her situation, she belittles another in order to elevate her low self esteem. "I may be a psych patient, but at least I'm not a bad nurse".

When we allow others' opinions of ourselves to be more important than our own, we start on a downward spiral into low self esteem and depression.

The statement was made, "I feel as though as though no one likes me".

Know this: Those are your feelings and not reality, evidenced by what your manager said. Feelings are like books on a shelf, and it is we who choose them.

CHOOSE to feel and read positively.

Good luck!

[JBMmom, MSN, NP]

If you are doing your best and providing the best patient care you can, you need to look inward to find your answers and validation, not outward. At the end of my shift, if I know that I have done everything with the best interest of my patients in mind, then it was successful. I may never be their favorite nurse, they may never like me, but they got the best care they could have had during my 8 or 12 or 16 hours there. There have been a few days recently where I honestly knew I could have done better. Would it have made a difference if they said they liked me then? Not really, because I knew I didn't do everything I could and should have done. It sure feels nice to be appreciated, when it's sincere, but it's not the true indication of your talents. Perhaps you are perceiving things that aren't there. The fact that you're concerned about it shows that you're not a bad nurse, be kind to yourself. Take care. 

[RNNPICU, BSN, RN]

Your adolescent psych patient said that statement because they want to have more control over their situation.  Saying that statement will get to most people and the patient knew this, therefore jumping at the chance to get to you first.