I cry all the time.......what next??????

[docpsychrn42]

:crying2:I am really embarassed to have to ask for help for my problem but I am at the end of my rope. All I could think of at midnight was other nurses that might be able to help me. Funny thing is...I am a psych nurse and can't seem to fix myself here. I recently lost my job with no reason given (I have since found out). I have spent the past month sleeping late, not eating well, staying up sometimes all night long, crying ALL the time, sending out resumes, calling hospitals etc. The bills are piling up, my husband is working as much overtime as he can, my daughter just started college (thank God for scholarships and loans!) and I have son that was diagnosed with Bipolar DO. I don't go out, I won't go in the grocery store unless it's late, I don't have any friends, no family around here and everyday it's more and more of a struggle to get up and do anything. I let the phone ring all day because I know it's the bill collectors. I worry every minute. I feel like such a failure. I have always been strong, motivated, energetic and full of life. I never left my house without my makeup on and my hair done. Lately, I do good to put on mascara. I am not on a pity pot right now I am simply at the end of my rope. I seriously don't know what to do next. I can't go get mental health treatment because I have no insurance, I can't take medication because I have no insurance, I can't find a job because I was terminated and I live in a small town where everyone knows your business. I want to move out of state to start over but can't because I have a very bright and loving daughter who just started high school and plays sports. I hardly talk to my husband. I am asleep when he leaves and awake when he goes to bed. Because I have specialized in psych for so many years, I have limited options for employment. The closest place of employment thus far is 3 hours away from my home. Do I take the job and stay in a motel and come home when I can? Who will care for my daughter and pick her up after games or even be there for her games? Who will be home when my son has a "bad" day and causes problems in the school? I need help. What do you suggest I do? I am NOT suicidal. I have children that I love very much and would never do anything to cause them to suffer. But in a way I am already doing that since I can't find a job and can't pay the bills! I am sorry this is so long but it's late and I can't sleep and thought maybe someone could help me with their wisdom. I am a nurse that has taken care of thousands of people in my 20+ years. What happens when a nurse needs someone to take care of them and they have no one?

[docpsychrn42, ASN, RN]

What hotline are you referring to that I can call? I live in a very small town so I would have to call the next big city. I know that there is a place near me that is a clinic based on income but there is a 4 month waiting period! Let me know what hotline to call and I will do this. Thanks for the info! I appreciate it.

[Liddle Noodnik]

What hotline are you referring to that I can call?

There should be a 1-800 crisis number in your area - perhaps the next big city but perhaps not ... I imagine that the clinic you mentioned would have a phone number, or your local emergency room. Just ask for the "crisis hotline number". Or just dial your operator and ask - they should be able to tell you the closest one.

Just don't forget to BREATHE! Depression feels like it is gonna last FOREVER - it is always temporary.

Do one thing nice for yourself.

And do one nice thing for someone else that does not cost money! I will usually ask God to put someone on my heart that might need something - cheering up, a meal, a card in the mail - anything.

When I was depressed and stressed like that, I started a prayer newsletter that I send out about once a week (more if there are urgent requests). It has prayer and praise reports, a joke or two, something inspirational, and maybe a bit of information someone might need. This helped me get "out of myself" and at least I felt useful! When you are depressed you feel like you are the drain and everyone else is the water. And it's just not true.

Anyway - if you would like I can put you in that prayer newsletter. Send me your first name by PM and if you want to write out your request yourself, feel free!

Some scripture which may (may, I said; I know this is hard) be of comfort:

Matthew 6:25-34 -

Therefore I say unto you, Take no thought for your life, what ye shall eat, or what ye shall drink; nor yet for your body, what ye shall put on. Is not the life more than meat, and the body than raiment? Behold the fowls of the air: for they sow not, neither do they reap, nor gather into barns; yet your heavenly Father feedeth them. Are ye not much better than they? Which of you by taking thought can add one cubit unto his stature? And why take ye thought for raiment? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow; they toil not, neither do they spin: And yet I say unto you, That even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these. Wherefore, if God so clothe the grass of the field, which to day is, and to morrow is cast into the oven, shall he not much more clothe you, O ye of little faith? Therefore take no thought, saying, What shall we eat? or, What shall we drink? or, Wherewithal shall we be clothed? (For after all these things do the Gentiles seek:) for your heavenly Father knoweth that ye have need of all these things. But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you. Take therefore no thought for the morrow: for the morrow shall take thought for the things of itself. Sufficient unto the day is the evil thereof.

You may ask, and you will receive, provision. You will not go hungry. You will have a roof over your head. Your children will be warm and fed and loved. God will provide for you. Maybe things are changing; so be it. You will be made strong, and God will guide you to His perfect will - if the conditions in the last two verses are met.

1. Put Him first.

2. Take just one day at a time (it's all that most of us can stand!)

This is of course my own humble opinion; take what you like and leave the rest! Take care

z

[NRSKarenRN, BSN, RN]

time to start networking with your peers from prior position!

call the social worker from the unit to get list of psychiatrist in the area and outpatient mental health centers. use it to send out resumes and find provider for yourself. if you don't get treatment, how can you treat others??

most pcp's have med samples and will give one months supply.

welcome to pparx.org

the partnership for prescription assistance brings together america’s pharmaceutical companies, doctors, other health care providers, patient advocacy community groups to help qualifying patients who lack prescription coverage get the medicines they need through the public or private program that’s right for them. many will get them free or nearly free. its mission is to increase awareness of patient assistance programs and boost enrollment of those who are eligible. through this site, the partnership for prescription assistance offers a single point of access to more than 475 public and private patient assistance programs, including more than 180 programs offered by pharmaceutical companies. to access the partnership for prescription assistance by phone, you can call toll-free, 1-888-4ppa-now (1-888-477-2669).

www.pparx.org/

national alliance for the mentally ill

the nami organization operates at the local, state and national levels. each level of the organization provides support, education, information and referral and advocacy

check out their

living with communities -- major depression

[color=#0000cc]nurses house since 1922...

to help nurses in need, nurses house extends short term financial assistance to registered nurses in difficulty as a result of injury, illness or disability ...

www.nurseshouse.org/aboutus.asp

good story: dorothy hamill: gliding through depression

best wishes for getting the help you need so you can continue to give back to others.

[Liddle Noodnik]

(((( NRSKarenRN)))))))) Great ideas!

[Guest717236]

Our prayers are with you. Keep your spirits up, and

monitor your symptoms. Very good advice from all

the members above. In this rapidly changing economy,

it could be anyone of us who has unexpected change

in jobs.

Please keep us updated, there is alot of support for you here.

Hoping everything improves soon....

[willy2]

There is a lot of good advice so please take whatever advice resonates with you so that you can start to feel some relief. Like one person said you have to treat yourself in order to help others.

Thinking of you:heartbeat

[finn11707]

i have gone through a couple 'existential crisis' periods in my time as a nurse. i call them this because, each time, i realized i was feeling down when i needed to find more meaning in my life. often, my job had become dull or i had grown to the point that it did not fit who i was anymore. each time i realized--looking back--it was a gift in disguise.

don't get me wrong, i hear how dismayed and trapped you feel by your circumstances; and, you've had several big changes in your life. i just mean to say: you will find your way through this.

this is what i found helped me out of the blues through my transition periods:

!. no staying in the house. get up and out by the time the kids are off to school. volunteer...join classes...start clubs for yourself or your kids (book, poetry, baking, beading, etc) ...take exercise classes...post an ad for a 'walking/exercise buddy' if needed.

2. journal, read poetry--seek inspirations for your soul.

3. by all means, consider jobs away from home--you can work (3) 12 hour shifts in a row--2 nights away from home and have lots of time for family still. is there a crisis clinic job within a 2-3 hour radius?

4. branch out. now is the time. take some ceu classes with related/translatable skills--that works when applying for a different focus. be prepared to state how your skills and new learning support the new job you seek.

5. make new friends. women's groups may be a good place--or posting an ad for starting a club at your home.

6. know that this is can be a good thing for your family too. they will all learn important lessons of pitching in, rising about adversity, coping through crisis and change, supporting one they love.

sweet darkness

by david whyte

when your eyes are tired

the world is tired also.

when your vision has gone

no part of the world can find you.

time to go into the dark

where the night has eyes

to recognize its own.

there you can be sure

you are not beyond love.

the dark will be your womb tonight.

the night will give you a horizon

further than you can see.

you must learn one thing.

the world was made to be free in.

give up all other worlds

except the one to which you belong.

sometimes it takes the darkness and the sweet

confinement of your aloneness

to learn

anything or anyone

that does not bring you alive

is too small for you.

[Liddle Noodnik]

This is what I found helped me out of the blues through my transition periods:

Great feedback, thanks for checking in!

I can't remember if I mentioned, everybody, there are many different threads in the "nurses with disabilities" forums for nurses w/ depression, anxiety, and other mental health issues, those threads provide a lot of support to anyone too!

https://allnurses.com/forums/f296/

[willy2]

Great advice Finn and Zoe :)

[Liddle Noodnik]

Great advice Finn and Zoe :)

Thank you Willy! (I had to look back at what I had written lol)

[willy2]

You're welcome... Happy Holidays :)

[Guest717236]

Hi docpsychrn42,

Hope things are going better. Please check in and

let us know how you are.

Happy Holidays

Jahra