:crying2:I am really embarassed to have to ask for help for my problem but I am at the end of my rope. All I could think of at midnight was other nurses that might be able to help me. Funny thing is...I am a psych nurse and can't seem to fix myself here. I recently lost my job with no reason given (I have since found out). I have spent the past month sleeping late, not eating well, staying up sometimes all night long, crying ALL the time, sending out resumes, calling hospitals etc. The bills are piling up, my husband is working as much overtime as he can, my daughter just started college (thank God for scholarships and loans!) and I have son that was diagnosed with Bipolar DO. I don't go out, I won't go in the grocery store unless it's late, I don't have any friends, no family around here and everyday it's more and more of a struggle to get up and do anything. I let the phone ring all day because I know it's the bill collectors. I worry every minute. I feel like such a failure. I have always been strong, motivated, energetic and full of life. I never left my house without my makeup on and my hair done. Lately, I do good to put on mascara. I am not on a pity pot right now I am simply at the end of my rope. I seriously don't know what to do next. I can't go get mental health treatment because I have no insurance, I can't take medication because I have no insurance, I can't find a job because I was terminated and I live in a small town where everyone knows your business. I want to move out of state to start over but can't because I have a very bright and loving daughter who just started high school and plays sports. I hardly talk to my husband. I am asleep when he leaves and awake when he goes to bed. Because I have specialized in psych for so many years, I have limited options for employment. The closest place of employment thus far is 3 hours away from my home. Do I take the job and stay in a motel and come home when I can? Who will care for my daughter and pick her up after games or even be there for her games? Who will be home when my son has a "bad" day and causes problems in the school? I need help. What do you suggest I do? I am NOT suicidal. I have children that I love very much and would never do anything to cause them to suffer. But in a way I am already doing that since I can't find a job and can't pay the bills! I am sorry this is so long but it's late and I can't sleep and thought maybe someone could help me with their wisdom. I am a nurse that has taken care of thousands of people in my 20+ years. What happens when a nurse needs someone to take care of them and they have no one?
