I cry when I'm stressed

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So, I'm a fairly new nurse, practicing just over a year. Can I get through a day? Yes. Do I like my job? Most days. Do I sometimes feel like I made a terrible mistake going into nursing? Yup!

Here's the thing. I cry when I am stressed out. I've cried before on the job, and I get through it. But it makes me feel like less of a nurse, and frankly, like less of a person, for crying. Yesterday, I had a case load of 5 patients (typical), but 3 of them, were time-consuming, constantly ringing their call bells, and one of them, on top of this, was just plain psycho. She demanded a PCA, an egg crate mattress to sleep on, a tennis ball to sit on (to release her puriformis muscle), a massage, 20 mg oxycodone, 2 mg Morphine, 5 mg Valium, AND POT BROWNIES! Seriously. She was just too much to handle. She was a nervous wreck, and an absolute psycho.

So, when bell-ringer (not psycho) was ringing her bell because she was in pain, was uncomfortable, and wanted to know if her soda was diet and what narcotics she would be going home with...

Mr. can't help himself was ringing so I could move his fan 2 inches to the left, move his blanket three inches down because it was too high on his chest, and so I could hold his member in a urinal with tissues in it so it didn't hurt (HE CAN DO THIS HIMSELF)...

And psycho was demanding all of the aforementioned things and services...

I cried.

I made a cup of tea, ran into my boss, chatted with my charge nurse, all while crying. And I felt like less of a nurse, less of a person, the whole time.

So, I've been doing this a year--and while all of the people I graduated with are already precepting new nurses, and thinking about becoming charge nurses, I'm crying in the nutrition room because I'm stressed out, and I'm worried that I've picked the wrong career. I like what I do. Most days, I come home excited about my job and what I've done and seen all day long. But then I wonder, why can't a I keep it together at work?! I'm a strong willed, headstrong person. But, when I'm stressed, I cry. And I feel like less of a nurse.

What do I do? Is there something wrong with me crying? Am I in the wrong career field? Is it okay that I don't feel ready to precept new nurses when I feel like I'm still so new and still have so many questions myself?

P.S., I work on a very busy post-op/ortho floor. 36 beds, patient load is 5, but we see 7-9 a day due to discharges and new post-op admissions. Do I just need a change of scenery? My goal was once to work in the CCU. And I still want to... Am I thinking in the wrong direction? With higher intensity, less patients?

Just looking for any feedback or suggestions, or just let me know I'm not the only one who cries at work!

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Specializes in ER, Med/Surg, Telemetry, Dialysis.

You're definitely not the only one, I'm sure many a nurse including myself has had a good cry in the bathroom. And then we pull ourselves together, put on our game face, and get back out there! It doesn't make you less of a nurse, it makes you human. You did say something about walking around chatting with the charge and others while crying...that I might try not to do. I can't really say why I wouldn't, it just seems like a bad idea but then again I just like having my cry in private either in the bathroom or many many times on my ride home with music blasting!

Also, please please do not feel bad for not being ready to precept at one year! You or anyone else should not be precepting at a year, that's pretty much still the blind leading the blind in my opinion.

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Thank you. Storage room is where I usually have my cries, but I needed the CN's opinion on how to deal with the psycho patient, and my boss happened to be in the nutrition room when I got there with my tea. I guess I need to practicing deep breathing. Thank you again for your reply!

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Deep breathing is it. Crying is okay, as long as nobody sees you do it.

What WAS the CN's advice? Patient was a borderline personality, you needed to have you assignment changed to accommodate that.

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I'm a crier. I cry about everything. But I learned to buck up in the work places. We all have those patients that drive us up the wall and infuriate us. ICU is very challenging. If you're crying now because your patients are annoying you, what will you do when your patient is coding because you're stressed out? Stop comparing your trajectory to other people you graduated with. You'll make yourself frustrated. After the year mark, you'll wake up one day and everything will click and you won't be as stressed out.

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Specializes in Med/Surg/ICU/Stepdown.

Your floor sounds a lot like mine. And I cry too. It's okay.

It doesn't make you less of a nurse. We all express our frustrations in different ways. If it's any consolation, you could be the type of nurse who takes her frustrations out on her patients, tossing attitude one way or avoiding a specific patient's room. You could snap at other nurses around you. You could internalize until you explode. Instead, you use a healthy coping mechanism: you cry. And there's nothing to be ashamed of in that.

When I have a moment that causes me to feel sad or frustrated and I know I'm going to need to cry, I simply excuse myself. I'll either be honest and say, "I'm getting emotional right now so I need five minutes," or I make up another excuse so I can run an "errand." Either way, I rely on the other nurses' on my floor to give me five minutes, and I blat it out, and return to the floor a little stronger and a little more tolerant. And some days I may need to do that five or six times. It's OK. It happens. And it isn't a character flaw.

Just understand that you aren't alone. And that you can still be a damn good nurse and shed a few tears here and there.

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She simply said, "Ask the ortho nurse." Which was no help at all. I'm kind of "on the outs" with this particular CN. It's unfortunate. I guess I just need to get used to dealing with different personalities. And work on my timing and location when I'm going to cry.

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It's not the acuity that stressing me out. Codes, I'm good. PA cut too much out of an abdominal wound he's bleeding profusely? Grab some suction. Patient possibly aspirated while vomiting? Ausculate, oxygen. Not an issue. Just emotions, and absolutes a**holes that make me cry.

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Thank you. This makes me feel so much better. I do feel supported by my coworkers, I think they all understand and I think they've all been in my shoes, whether they choose to admit it or not. Thank you, thank you.

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Specializes in MDS/ UR.

Crying happens to most of us at one time or another.

It sounds like you keep it on the QT which I would encourage you to do.

While crying is natural, if it starts to be a noticeable pattern to co-workers it may cause some perceived notions of drama making, immaturity or such.

A new nurse on one of our LTC units was weepy from time to time (3-4x a month) due to frustration, feeling overwhelmed or being unsure of what to do. She would start crying at the cart or desk. It was dealt with kindly and folks were supportive in the beginning but when it continued happening for months afterward it became draining and people started to avoid her. It was easy to become numb to her distress because it was frequently on display. We all struggle but one needs to find a way to be less dramatic or do it in private.

Anyways, hope it gets better.

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Crying happens to most of us at one time or another.

It sounds like you keep it on the QT which I would encourage you to do.

While crying is natural, if it starts to be a noticeable pattern to co-workers it may cause some perceived notions of drama making, immaturity or such.

I agree. Frequent crying episodes will undermine the OP's credibility.

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This is the 3rd time in a year that I've cried. Not intentionally publicly. I will work on growing thicker skin & finding a good hiding place.

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