Hello! This is my first post on here because I didn't feel like I was getting anywhere through Google searches.
Quick background: I'm a new nurse (graduated in May, '15 RN, BSN) and I've been working since July at a level-II trauma center. I went through what I considered a fairly unique program at my current hospital that was called a "nurse residency." It lasted 12 weeks and allowed me to work on different inpatient units throughout the hospital to see which ones I liked.
The residency ended a couple weeks ago and I'm now working on my "home unit." It's a 32-bed ICU (medical-surgical-trauma). I chose this unit because I had worked there as a student during my senior practicum and, out of all the units to which I travelled in the residency, its staff was the most friendly and welcoming. I thought I could grow there and have a smooth transition.
What I've come to realize--essentially since my second year of nursing school (and especially since I've worked as a registered nurse)--is that nursing just is not the career for me. I don't enjoy the patient care and 12-hour shifts, I don't look forward to what I do every day, and I'm sad to think bedside nursing could be a lifetime career for me.
The problem is that I don't know quite what to do. I can't stay in this profession--I know I don't have much experience, but this just isn't the work I enjoy. I grew up working retail and working for my parents' landscaping company. I chose nursing because of its practicality, job security, and salary, and I don't regret having chosen such a bountiful career. I do, however, resent my feelings towards nursing. I cannot convince myself that this is the career for me, and over the past year or so, I've realized that that's OK. I just need to find one that is.
So, my question to you all is: what should I do?
I've considered non-clinical nursing jobs, but I honestly don't think I have enough experience and I have no idea how to go about researching those positions, finding them, or even understanding what they entail.
I've also thought about going back for pharmacy school. I'd have to fulfill a few more prerequisite requirements and be accepted, but it's definitely an option. Then again, I don't know much about the career aside from its basic description and the roles of the clinical pharmacists on the unit.
Any advice you all have to offer--especially those who have been in my position--would be most welcome.
I chose nursing because of its practicality, job security, and salary, and I don't regret having chosen such a bountiful career. I do, however, resent my feelings towards nursing. I cannot convince myself that this is the career for me, and over the past year or so, I've realized that that's OK. I just need to find one that is.
Wow, I've really got to give you credit for putting some serious thought into all this. Your head told you to make all the right moves but your heart is sabotaging all that preparation. I don't think you're quite done sorting out your feelings though.
What is all that resentment directed at? What you thought nurses were supposed to be? Feeling guilty or perhaps angry that the career wasn't as yippee-skippee fulfilling as those school ads make it out to be? I am NOT making fun of that. Those commercials are professionally made to manipulate potential students to spend their student loan dollars at those schools. The reality of a nursing career is a little less flashy than the "You will save lives" catch lines.
I would hate to see a smart person like you throw away too much time, money and effort too soon. Bedside nursing is really just one corner of the vast nursing quilt. I agree, your first year may not be much fun. After jumping in, it takes awhile to get used to the cold water, gather your wits and figure out how to stay afloat. Once you're comfortable with a basic stroke you have a lot more options. Ask around. When you see something interesting, ask how people got there. I tried several different fields of nursing and quit twice before I really hit on "my thing".
I'm a big believer that if you can't find something to like in nursing you aren't looking hard enough.
It is going to be scary and horrible for the first year. It is not for everyone, but it is for many. I'm going to be painfully honest. I remember looking at a concrete bridge on the way to work thinking that if I were to swerve off of the road and crash into it and die, maybe everyone, my family, my co-workers might think that it was an accident and not think of me as a failure. I wanted to quit, but I was afraid of what everyone would think. Looking back, I probably should have talked to someone about that.
I stuck it out. I'm fine now, and actually... I love my job. It took about a year. I've had co-workers change nursing specialties for that reason. Med-surg can be crazy. My mother went to pre-surgical because of the stress of med-surg. There are always other ways to be a nurse than what you are currently doing. The grass is not always greener on the other side though. Prayers and hugs :) It WILL get better if you stick it out though! Been there, done that.
I'm feeling the same way as you and still do after 3 years! Med-surg is awful but there are few who love it and God bless them for it! I'm trying to get out into clinic type jobs, insurance, or outpatient surgical centers. I don't mind patient interaction, I HATE bedside! I think if we had more support and help it would be better but its not going to get better. A nurse said to me the other day how she likes bedside and actually likes (or doesn't mind) changing briefs! I guess some people really do love it, not all of us do and that's okay. I've stuck it out because I didn't want to let down my family and wanted them to be proud of me. I went to ER and thought it would be great experience and how my family would be proud of me but I'm miserable still and I'm learning I need to stop doing what I think other people want me to do or care about what they think about me. I go into work almost having anxiety attacks and am dealing with depression that I've never felt before because of my work situation. Do what makes YOU happy! Whatever that is, who cares what anyone says what you should do. Your not them and they are not you. Everyone has their own path they need to follow.
Nursing is such a big field. I didn't like the hospital either but I have found my niche in other places....Corrections, Psych, Public Health (I love this), Aesthetic, Forensic...there is all kinds of nursing out there that doesn't involve working in a hospital. The first year is tough, believe me I know. You just have to find your niche. Goodluck
I understand exactly what you are saying. I have been working in the nursing field since January and I've realized that I hate bedside nursing. Every day I dread going to work. I have even tried switching jobs but I still feel the same way. I tried to apply for something besides bed side nursing but other jobs require at least one year experience and even if you have the experience there still hard to get. The job I would recommend you look into is physical therapy because the require some of the same classes as nursing. It pays well and you would still be in the medical field.
I graduated in 2011, second career for me, so I'm not 20 something! Did floor nursing, hated it, got a job in Rheumatology practice which wasn't bad but management and such was awful and I felt I needed more clinical experience so I went back to floor nursing, hated it again and left, actually went back to my old profession (insurance) and thought what the hell am I doing back here! Got a wonderful job in an infusion suite and a nutty nurse made my life miserable and I left because my hours got cut. Now I work as a medical review nurse, no stress, no 12 hours, close to home but boring as hell! So now what?.....I don't know, but my point is there are a lot of different jobs and it's okay to not have found your niche yet, as someone else here said, do what makes YOU happy, no one else! Best of luck to you!
Some medical examiner offices use specially trained RNs to investigate crime scenes. I always thought if I didn't make it in nursing, I might try that. But then I tried Emergency, and found my niche. It's still in the back of my mind, though. If I ever get fed up.....
Hmm. That's definitely something to think about. What in the world that would entail, I have no idea. I'd be like the Horatio Caine of nursing.
I was stressed and lost as a new nurse. My body could not tolerate the 12 hour shift. I survived the first year of nursing and felt so proud. I truly admire and respect nurses who have been a bedside nurse for many years. They are really special. I left bedside nursing due to many reasons. I work at a clinic now. The stress is gone. I work everyday but I am not tired. It might be a boring office job to some nurses, but I enjoy it very much.
I miss direct patient care sometimes so I still work as a bedside nurse PRN. I also do that because I am grateful to my manager at the hospital for giving me the first nursing job right out of school. I do not miss the busy 12 hour shift with interrupted lunch break or even no time for break!
You will be able to find a nursing position that you like, you just have to look for it. Please do not give up on nursing too early. Put your resume out there and start apply everywhere, it does not hurt to try! Good luck.
This definitely sounds like a success story--I'm happy for you!
What you say about appreciating bedside nurses is something I can't stress enough. These people are warriors. But I'm not the kind of guy to convince myself to go to I job I don't like because it's coveted and respected. I want to be happy.
What type of clinic is it and what do you do? Also, what was your experience beforehand and did it help you?
It's ok to discover that bedside nursing is not for you, however, to move into other non-bedside nursing one 'typically' needs bedside experience (1-2 years) before venturing out. Many non-bedside jobs require at least that plus other qualifications. But, while you are gaining that bedside experience in the meantime, sometimes figuring out what exactly you don't like helps you to figure out what type of nursing to do in order to get that experience. For instance, a friend of mine does not like the typical 12 hour bedside nursing with the same patients the whole shift, so she loves the ER because patients come and go (fairly) quickly. Another friend love endo because she has that pt for a hour or so, and then it's on to the next. Just figure out what suits your personality. For me, I love being on a unit where the pt is typically HAPPY to be there, postpartum. For the most part, it's quite a joyous time sharing this special time with pts. Don't get me wrong, there is still stress, just like in virtually every nursing unit, it's just finding the right kind of stress that you don't mind handling. Good luck :)
Wise words. Thank you for taking the time to offer me your advice!
What I'm concerned about it the way you describe a nurse residency as if no one else has ever heard of this concept. I'm wondering if you really know what else you can do with nursing instead of writing it all off and throwing in the towel. You might just be going through the adjustment blues and maybe need to give yourself some more time. What is it about the job that doesn't appeal to you? What is it that happened during the 2nd year that completely put you off?
Bedside doesn't have to be (and usually shouldn't because of the physical -- let alone mental -- wear and tear) a lifetime part of the career.
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Mavrick, BSN, RN
1,578 Posts
Wow, I've really got to give you credit for putting some serious thought into all this. Your head told you to make all the right moves but your heart is sabotaging all that preparation. I don't think you're quite done sorting out your feelings though.
What is all that resentment directed at? What you thought nurses were supposed to be? Feeling guilty or perhaps angry that the career wasn't as yippee-skippee fulfilling as those school ads make it out to be? I am NOT making fun of that. Those commercials are professionally made to manipulate potential students to spend their student loan dollars at those schools. The reality of a nursing career is a little less flashy than the "You will save lives" catch lines.
I would hate to see a smart person like you throw away too much time, money and effort too soon. Bedside nursing is really just one corner of the vast nursing quilt. I agree, your first year may not be much fun. After jumping in, it takes awhile to get used to the cold water, gather your wits and figure out how to stay afloat. Once you're comfortable with a basic stroke you have a lot more options. Ask around. When you see something interesting, ask how people got there. I tried several different fields of nursing and quit twice before I really hit on "my thing".
I'm a big believer that if you can't find something to like in nursing you aren't looking hard enough.