Huge let down from one of my profs

[Holly.G]

.. so im a shy/reserved girl... I have social anxiety so I don't seem as outgoing in class and I choose not to talk about my personal life in class' because ive been through so much negative that I don't feel like theirs anything positive to share with the whole world, completely opposite from the classmates. I never participate in class because im ADD and ontop of that I have Social Anxiety. Im a slow thinker so when ever my prof asks questions I need at least a good 2-3 mins to think about what she just asked... by then were on a diff topic. My prof comes up to me and asks how im feeling about the course. I said it was fine and then she says... something like this... sometimes I look at you in class and you look like you don't want to be here in class, is their a problem, and you've missed a few classes? blah bah blah. Mostly that look on my face is because I only had 1 hr of sleep last night from all the studying and assignments I had due the next day and two I have a hard time concentrating in class so I stare off into space with a blank look on my face...:stone I've missed a few classes before here and there and that's only because I needed to take time off to catch up on studying for tests and assignments ,I've told my prof that straight up. Either that or I slept in because their was no way Im going to class with only 1 hr of sleep from the night before.

She assumes that im not into nursing and asks if I applied to nursing because of pressure from the family? And then she asked why I applied to nursing? I told her that I wasn't sure what I wanted to get into so I wanted to see what nursing was all about, and i've always wanted to get into the health care field...

so she then tells me to hang on in their for the first semester or even second semester and to get good grades because it might help me in the future when I apply to something else at a different college, she speaks as if im not going to make it through my full two years of nursing school, and that im going to fail all my classes.

This just really put me down.....the fact that im trying SO HARD in school and im finally getting decent grades 70s-80s-90's considering in high school I got nothing more than 40's and 50's... Now when I go back to class im going to be more reserved and uncomfortable because that's what my prof expects of me.... she expects me to be miserable she thinks that I don't give a **** about my classes and that im just their for the sake of being there... Now because of that I cant even see myself finishing my last year at the same college and graduating under the prof who thinks Im not cut out to be a nurse.. I keep telling myself to forget about others and what they think but it just keeps coming back... Id just appreciate advice, motivation or anything for that matter... sigh.

[canoehead, BSN, RN]

The fact that you keep coming and are making good grades shows enough motivation. When you register for classes next year she should acknowledge that you still seem motivated enough to continue. The only change I'd make would be to make a point of not missing any more of her classes, just to let her know you won't be put off.

[aromarn]

Wow! well you know yourself and how you feel about nursing more than anyone. But you have to come off your anxiety, shy, and reserve , atleast you have to try. Instead of telling your prof the above ask her , for advice how you can help your anxiety, shy and reserve behaviour. When she see how you are trying to prove yourself and how much you are trying , she will come around.

Look at it from your prof. point of view, she want you to be open, participate and discuss in the classroom, these are things nursing students should do. Not so much about your personal life I am talking about, but we have to be ready in the classroom ALERT and FOCUS!!! If she do not see your eagerness and your willingness then she will misjudge you( like now)!!

When you become a nurse, and be responsible for patients, mostly more than one patient , you are expected to be Alert, Focus and think FAST. Your prof. is trying to prepare you for the real world. Talk to her , tell her and try to understand her point of view and make her understand yours. You also need to manage your time well, work something out, shedule study time, play time, family time.....etc.Most people here will tell you, that we went to school with full responsiblits, I was a wife and mother while going to nursing school. ( still wife and mother). Anyway, its not easy but I have to work out schedule that works for me , so I can be Alert, Focus and Fast!!

Bottom line, my advice to you is Reexamine your time management and Approch your prof differently , by asking her for advice...

Good luck, I hope it helps

[Chapis]

good advise from previous posters, if you know you're liking nursing school and are doing good or more than good then brush it off, your instructor will know you care by looking at your grades. do not get smary with her as we will always lose and you'll be her targer from there on, but just nod or say yes ma'am.

[Holly.G]

I have improved though.. SOO MUCH... (well to me anyways) I guess my prof dosnt know that tho.. I used to have SM and now its just plane old social anxiety... I just did my first presentation in front of the class, and thats not something i would of ever done in highschool. I rememvber the last time I did a class presentation was in grade 5 and even then the teaacher helped prepare me for mounthsss I feel like ive accomplish alot but i feel that it accounts for nothing... So in other words i am trying to get over my SA... but i agree with you thanks

[Holly.G]

I guess i hate being judged, who doesnt....

[luvlyf]

Holly G., You have a rare concerned nursing teacher. Believe it or not, she is one of the few that REALLY wants to help a student! You are actually lucky to have a teacher who's concerned about your "quietness" in class. Some of the teachers I know in nursing school just don't care. I am actually surprised you are complaining about her. Anyways, I think she's just concerned. I think she likes you as a student because the fact that she came up to you and actually ask how you are doing in class, and not talk to you about a failing grade or anything of that sort. Maybe she sees some potential in you and that she sees you are trying, only she wants to see you open up in class since most of your classmates are more open and talkative. But then again, that is your perssonality.

The fact that you are doing good, passing your exams and doing your best with your homeworks and stuff, I see that you are really trying. Just keep your eye on the prize, which is finishing your nursing degree. You will be fine!

[luvlyf]

*personality

[Holly.G]

I love her as a teacher but its one thing to be concerned and another to judge someone... Im glad that shes concerned about me even when I said I enjoy nursing school she goes off to says hang in there for a semester or two... when we still have two whole years left... so you'd take that as a compliment instead of felling down about it?

[llg, PhD, RN]

I guess i hate being judged, who doesnt....

Exactly -- and you will be judged every day in your career -- by your boss, by your co-workers, by your patients, etc. You will also have to learn to speak up, interact with people (colleagues and conmplete strangers) all the time. You'll need to look people in the eye, smile, look interested, process what they have to say, and respond appropriately. Those things are true of almost every line of work, but they are VERY true in nursing. Do you think you can learn to do that within the next few months? You'll need to as you get into your clinical rotations.

It's often hard and/or painful to have to see yourself as other people see you. Fortunately, your professor was kind enough to approach you in a caring manner ... asking if everything was alright, giving you some guidance as to what you will need to do to succeed in nursing, and encouraging you to keep trying. That's a lot kinder than some people experience from professors who would simply mark you down for poor classroom performance without taking the trouble to talk with you and try to find out what's going on.

Now that you have a better understanding of the performance level expected of a nursing student, you can start making a plan to improve those things that need a little work. It sounds as if you are able to master the course content and get reasonable grades on tests and other written assginements. That's a great start. Now, you just need to work on how you present yourself and interact with others. Do you have a counselor or therapist who helps you work on your Social Anxiety? If not, perhaps you should consider making that investment. At this time of your life, you need to be able to interact with the world in order to be professionally successful.

Good luck to you. You sound like a nice person who has worked very hard and made great strides to overcome your difficulties. I hope you can master the remaining skills that you will need.

[CBsMommy]

If you really want this then who cares what the teacher thinks? I would tell you to participate in class because it's going to help you interact with the patients and peers. You shouldn't judge yourself off one comment a teacher, or anyone else, says to you. Also, it sounds to me, like you are relying on your anxiety as a crutch. If you are (and only you know) maybe you should stop and face it. I have anxiety disorder as well but def. don't use it as a crutch or an excuse and I am always participating in class. I guess what I'm trying to say is look at yourself objectively. If you have things you need to work on, do it. But don't listen to one comment from one teacher and react to it. You will only hurt yourself.

[goodstudentnowRN]

Rule one: Do not allow the nursing instuctors to get a peak in your personal life. They will use it against you because they are very hypocritical.