How to respond to rude patients/visitors?

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So there is a thread going around now about patients and visitors being rude to nurses. This thread got me thinking.

What would YOU say to patients and visitors being blatantly rude to you? What would you say to establish that you're essentially not their doormat?

I would like to know what you would consider an appropriate thing to say. It seems that there is a risk of being too brusque, but then you could also be too gentle as well (to the point that they won't take you seriously).

What is an appropriate thing to say? Inappropriate? I don't want my future patients and their families/visitors to walk all over me but I don't want to overstep any professional boundaries either.

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Specializes in Emergency.

Always de-escalate the situation. I usually lead off with "I understand that you're upset about [insert reason].". Remember, the anger/rudeness is not about you. They're generally lashing out. Then you can calmly and reasonably set boundaries. I find reminding people that respect is a 2 way street.

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Specializes in Critical Care, ED, Cath lab, CTPAC,Trauma.

I answered this in the other thread.......I'm with

emtb2rn Always de-escalate the situation. I usually lead off with "I understand that you're upset about [insert reason].". Remember, the anger/rudeness is not about you. They're generally lashing out. Then you can calmly and reasonably set boundaries.

I think society in general have lost the ability to function in society with good manners. I have no idea where they went.....but they are missing. Personally, think that in this wireless society spending so much time behind computer screens...we have lost the ability to function in in public and with each other.

That being said....you are not going to fix everyone. I would not instruct a patient I will do as they ask only after they say please. It is not your job to admonish them, like a petulant child, about their manners. I could see that as a potential trigger for their outburst. I can see the patient thinking "how dare she treat me like I'm a child!!!" when they are usually able to get up and do things for themselves....it is extremely frustrating to have to keep asking people to do things for you.....things you used to be able to do yourself. Trust me I know.

Patients are angry for many reasons. They go through the same phases that someone goes through with any loss. As Kübler-Ross model theory points out...patients go through "five stages of grief", it says that when a person is faced with the reality of impending death or other extreme, awful fate, he or she will experience a series of emotional stages: denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance. They are feeling vulnerable. They are angry they are sick. They have financial worries. They are fearful their spouse won't stay by them. They have their own demon that plague them. And there are some that are just angry ill mannered people.....but it is not your job to correct them...you are not their mother.

I treat everyone equal....as if they are the nicest people on earth. What do I care what they think. I am in the camp of "Kill them with kindness" for you are not going to fix them.

Things to remember....people are jerks....they don't change just because they become ill. In fact they become worse. It isn't personal for they treat everyone poorly....and you can't fix stupid. I feel that I won't stoop to their level and know they get under my skin. Kind of like bullies they seek satisfaction in the response...I just don't give them the satisfaction of knowing they bothered me.

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If they are being rude to me directly, not just rude in general, I reply with "Thank-you for sharing" give them a smile and glide away. On my broomstick.

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If they are being rude to me directly, not just rude in general, I reply with "Thank-you for sharing" give them a smile and glide away. On my broomstick.

I laughed out loud on this one! :D

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If they are being rude to me directly, not just rude in general, I reply with "Thank-you for sharing" give them a smile and glide away. On my broomstick.

This reply wins.

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Specializes in ER, Addictions, Geriatrics.

I think society in general have lost the ability to function in society with good manners. I have no idea where they went.....but they are missing. Personally, think that in this wireless society spending so much time behind computer screens...we have lost the ability to function in in public and with each other.

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I agree. I also always say something along the lines of.. "I understand that you are upset and frustrated at your current situation and I would like to help you in every way that I can. I will leave you alone for a bit, let me know if you need anything in the mean time."

However, in the case of blatantly rude patients like the woman I cared for the other day telling me (in much less polite terms) that I had a very large bottom half, and that I should stop eating entirely, I have much less compassion. I smiled and said "thank you I will take that into consideration." She got so flustered that I wasn't mad. Then I promptly went to the break room and rantd about it to my partner.

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