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How to react to certain comments/experiences at work?

Hi everyone, I work in a SNF (LTC facility). I have a couple of residents, particularly this sweet elderly resident. She always tells me "I love you." I've also had a different resident ask if then can give me a kiss (on my cheek). Both residents I'm referring to are female. At both instances I didn't really know how to respond. When ever the resident says I love you, I just always say thank you and that she's really kind. As a nurse are we allowed to tell a resident I love you too?

This is probably a really stupid question, but this has happened more than once and I'm always conflicted as to what I should say.

Thanks in advance to whoever responds!

CardiacKittyRN

Specializes in Cardiac.

This used to happen to me when I worked in an ALF. I had gotten really close to a majority of the residents.. I had one lady who said I was like a daughter to her and told me she loved me.. At first I didn't say it back, but as time when on I did. But we talked often and were very close. I've gotten and given lots of hugs as well! If you feel comfortable with it I think it's ok... The residents see you everyday, they get attached and are just trying to show you so appreciation. That's my take on it anyway :)

"And I love that you are so kind!!"

"How about a hug instead, I am a better hugger!"

Seems like a great deal of elderly people are from a time where everyone was a kisser. There are more than one of us who can remember having bright red lipstick on our cheeks from the ladies at church (or the store, or wherever) kissing our cheek.

The "love" comment also is generational. Like a "I just love you" in a affectionate way as opposed to anything else.

It is awesome that you are in a place with so many happy people. It is really nice to hear.

This used to happen to me when I worked in an ALF. I had gotten really close to a majority of the residents.. I had one lady who said I was like a daughter to her and told me she loved me.. At first I didn't say it back, but as time when on I did. But we talked often and were very close. I've gotten and given lots of hugs as well! If you feel comfortable with it I think it's ok... The residents see you everyday, they get attached and are just trying to show you so appreciation. That's my take on it anyway :)

Thanks for your response! Yeah, I feel the same way you do, But wasn't sure if it was professionally appropriate or not. Thanks for clearing it up

"And I love that you are so kind!!"

"How about a hug instead, I am a better hugger!"

Seems like a great deal of elderly people are from a time where everyone was a kisser. There are more than one of us who can remember having bright red lipstick on our cheeks from the ladies at church (or the store, or wherever) kissing our cheek.

The "love" comment also is generational. Like a "I just love you" in a affectionate way as opposed to anything else.

It is awesome that you are in a place with so many happy people. It is really nice to hear.

I will definitely use the tips you gave, thank you. =)

Ruas61, BSN, RN

Specializes in MDS/ UR.

I always route it to hand shake. I don't like the kissy/huggy thing.

meh

I'm old school.

If that old hag wants to kiss me on the cheek she may.

If the bag lady will be happier if I say that I love her too, well then, I love her too.

If the old coot will be nicer if I salute him before passing meds, well then I am saluting.

After almost 40 years of nursing I have yet to suffer significant negative consequences for any of those things.

Hi, I'm an RN.i work in LTC. A senior nursing supervisor is illtreating and harassing other nurses at my work. She makes fun of nurses on the unit she's in charge of, puts them down in front of aides, patients and family.If anyone is RN, she try to put all burden on them saying "you are taking RN money home, so do it". Also all through the shift she wastes nurses time boasting of herself & her daughters, as how intelligent they are. If anyone gives her a back answer she make sure she complain about that nurse to the management, making a story of inadequate patient care, or no respect to superiors & make sure the nurse gets fired. If that nurse gets job in other place, if she works there part time by chance, she make sure the nurse gets fired from that place too.

Esme12, ASN, BSN, RN

Specializes in Critical Care, ED, Cath lab, CTPAC,Trauma.

Hi, I'm an RN.i work in LTC. A senior nursing supervisor is illtreating and harassing other nurses at my work. She makes fun of nurses on the unit she's in charge of, puts them down in front of aides, patients and family.If anyone is RN, she try to put all burden on them saying "you are taking RN money home, so do it". Also all through the shift she wastes nurses time boasting of herself & her daughters, as how intelligent they are. If anyone gives her a back answer she make sure she complain about that nurse to the management, making a story of inadequate patient care, or no respect to superiors & make sure the nurse gets fired. If that nurse gets job in other place, if she works there part time by chance, she make sure the nurse gets fired from that place too.
I think you posted in the wrong thread.;)
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