How to quit

rollingstone · Aug 11, 2004

If you don't like it there kindly put in notice and leave. If the nurse manager wants a reason you can tell her what you told us or just say that the unit isn't a good fit for you. It's your choice. Good luck.

J. B. · Aug 11, 2004

Hello --
A few months ago (April), I started a new job in an ICU. (Left the old job because my husband got relocated) To make a long story short, I believe I've been there long enough to know that it's not going to work. The patient acuity doesn't bother me, it's my coworkers. It's just a totally different environment from what I'm used to. Alot less friendly. I have tried days and nights, and neither are suiting me. It's very hard because I loved where I came from. The people were amazing. 99% of them. And I felt like part of a family. In the new unit, decent people seem to be the minority. There are nicer people, but they are far and few between.
I've never left a job before, without having a good reason. Like moving. As I said I never wanted to leave my last unit, but I had to. And now, I'm wondering how I tell my manager that I'm not fitting in and that I want to leave. Is there a tactful way, without sounding whiny "People aren't nice to me!!!". I tried giving it a chance, I know the 6 month rule, but I feel like everyday I'm becoming "one of them"... a cold person. And life is too short to be unhappy where you work.
If anyone could help me out on how to quit a job and not sound like...I don't know what. Just help!
Thanks
E.

Hello Erinn

Let me say I know very well the feelings you mentioned. I too have found it hard to find the team and family atmosphere I had experienced early on in my first ICU position. I found that team in California at a few hospitals and in Colorado when I first came here in 1988. Times have changed and it is harder to find that which you seek. That doesent mean that you should not continue to look for it and for god sack try to show it in your self and for those around you..even it it hurts and ( in spite of those that dont show it). A patient once told me that spreading cheer and kindness is like purfumes...when we sprinkle it about it is imposible to not get some on yourself....

I know it is tough and I have had times when I found it hard to keep my spirits up when those around me would not help or care enough to lend a hand in time of need...You know those little things that make a unit a family...

It is those time that your actions shine and provide that little glimmer of what it can be like when a unit or group works like a loving and caring team.

Those units are out there Erinn Rest assured they are Keep looking.

As for leaving under such circumstances..I have always thought that if going to work made me sick to my gut it was time to leave and telling my manager the reason why.

Well thats up to you as is the decision to leave. Consider this.

If the profession of nursing is one you are proud then it deserves a honest assessment and accounting of itself. One deminishes the profession and weakens it when one doesent keep it accountable to itself.

A manager with any salt for brains would love good feedback and more than likely already knows the moral issue you sp[eak or ( or lack of it in their unit.)

When and if you leave try not to burn your bridge by saying that you are in need of a hiatus from the unit and why. Given the circumstances of your decision and your willingnes to return when you are ready to bring a rejuvenated spriit you will more than likely be welcomed back if and when you ever wish to want to return.

Be up beat but honest placing your health and spiritual welbeing first and acknowledge that at a later date perhaps you may return strengthened by your hiatus so to be able to continue to practice your best most effective nursing skills and team support.

What do you think of that approach Erinn?

Keep your spirits up and dont ever give up on your dreams

it is what drives us all to reach and build those things we want different from where and what we have already.

chris_at_lucas_RN, RN · Aug 11, 2004

How beautifully expressed. Thanks, Terry.

purplemania, BSN, RN · Aug 11, 2004

If you have absolutely made up your mind to leave then PLEASE let the manager or the nurse recruiter in HR know the reason. Things can't be fixed if they are hidden or washed under the rug. Believe me, it makes a difference to management and to the hospital's future if good nurses are leaving rather than put up with bad behavior. Please make the comments. You don't have to mention names, just attitudes and actions that led to your decision. I hope this experience helps you grow as well.

erinnRN · Aug 11, 2004

Thanks everyone. I feel a little better, thought I won't feel totally better until I find a better place to work.

I've never said "just go to work, do your job and get your paycheck" until I started there. And that statement has come out of my mouth too many times since then.

I used to gladly pick up extra time. Because I never wanted the people I worked with and loved to be stuck. And now I don't even answer the phone when they call.

I just think this is a place that doesn't know how to facilitate new people (i'm not even a new nurse...I'd pity a new nurse.) They don't want to hear ideas of what other hospitals are doing. Hardly any of them have ever worked in another unit, let alone another hospital.

Well thanks again. I needed to vent to people who understood.

Thanks!

E.

missmercy · Aug 11, 2004

"If you have absolutely made up your mind to leave then PLEASE let the manager or the nurse recruiter in HR know the reason. Things can't be fixed if they are hidden or washed under the rug. Believe me, it makes a difference to management and to the hospital's future if good nurses are leaving rather than put up with bad behavior. "
I work at afacility that has swept things aside, ignored the problem, you know the drill -- for YEARS!! I am supposed to enter the picture and do some housekeeping! No problem! I can do that -- IF there is an awareness of how the problems started, what things are working, what hasn't worked. I am not a walking hatchet queen -- I want to help the organization FIX the problems, resolve the issues -- or they are never going to be able to keep good, quality help. It takes honest, sensative, good nurses picking up the rug and shedding some light on the issues to get them taken care of!
Do not stay in an organization that is making you feel like you are losing your spirit. Focous on being the best person you can be, the best nurses are the people who have a handle on who they are -- who are comfortable in their own skin and who can find happiness in what they do. If that isn't the case there -- and if it is not just nitpicky stuff -- leave. But be honest, address issues, don't point fingers, but PLEASE DON"T LEAVE WITHOUT BEING A PART OF THE BEGINNING OF A SOLOUTION!!

J. B. · Aug 12, 2004

How beautifully expressed. Thanks, Terry.

Your welcome Chris

CHATSDALE · Aug 12, 2004

give proper notice...i have worked with nurses who called at 9 p and said they wouldn't be back when they were due at 7a...one nurse faxed her resignation...some facilities do not want exiting nurses to orient new employee...but they should be given the choice and a chance to hire someone else...and i agree with the others...on an exit interview explain the problems...you will be doing a favor for the ones who come behind you

Agnus · Aug 12, 2004

Personally, expecially under the circumstance I would find something that does suite me first, before I gave notice.

That way you are not out of work and then find yourself in another job that is not right for you.

You might even try something else part time or per diem while you keep your present job. When you deside this new one is a fit then hand in your notice.

You leave on an up beat note this way. You can honestly say that you have somthing else that fits you better at this time.

Leave on a cordial note. You do not own them an explaination if you do not wish to give it. You can simply say this is not the best fit for me at this time. Or that you need to do something else.

It is true things can not be fixed if manager do not know about it. However, in most cases they know. If they did not have the foresight to look at or for problems and fix them before they lost you you have no obligation to do it for them as you leave.

No place ever remains the same. The problem will be fixed or cease at some time after you leave. Maybe simply by staff and or management turn over. You do not need to help them fix it. Your obligation to them is over. At some point you might enjoy returning because it WILL have changed without any parting input from you.

The sour attitude you describe can not go unnotice by managers and it very likely is somthing that has rolled down hill from management.

gladtobeOB · Aug 13, 2004

OH, how I know how you feel. Been there done that. Check my post about unhappy coworkers...... I love what I do so much that they will never make me leave no matter their attitude. At my current place of employment it is all a game....they talk about everyone behind their backs..then talk nice to their face. (have to wonder what they think of the new girl). Moan. moan, moan all the time, hate their job, blah blah blah. Don't ruin my spririts-get out if you don't like it is what I would like to tell them. I too left my previous job too many reasons to write about but told them the things that most aggravated me at my exit interview.like never having an orientation(new grad) being expected to know as much and have as much responsiblity as the seasoned nurse, never had the required courses such as iv training and disrhythmia course, worked in a small hospital that seen everything from MI's to peds. NM said she appreciated my comments...(yeah right) and would try to better the new grad orientations.

Do what is right in your heart. any other departments interest you? Other facilities in the area? Looking for something new and exciting try it. Best wishes and big hugs